Kansas

I love learning new things. Last week we were having dinner with friends from out-of-town and as our waiter walked away one of our friends said: “Our waiter is a lumbersexual.” I had not heard the term and my eyes widened with interest. My mind wandered with thinking of all the hipster Portland men with proper fitting jeans (sometimes rolled), nice shoes and shirt, hair well taken care of and of course either a mustache or beard. Usually I have thought of those that fall into that realm as “hipster.” However, lumbersexual is such a better descriptor.

Of course I came home and spent some time reviewing the Internet of recent articles pertaining to those deemed lumbersexual. I am not completely out of the loop. The term is fairly new of the last few months. Beards, beer, jeans, tattoos, flannel, loves the outdoors, and shops for beard oil. What? Beard oil. Yes, it is all the rage in Portland. A few articles heightened my interest. Of course I love when one mentions my backyard of the Willamette National Forest and even a comment on moisturizer:

“It goes without saying that virtually no man ever called himself a metrosexual, which really just referred to men who shopped for their own pants, went to the gym, and used moisturizer. (That was a big leap. It really was.) So don’t expect the term Lumbersexual to blow up, no matter how ubiquitous Lumbersexuals become.”

I have never been able to get Chris to use moisturizer. Why is that so hard for us women to get our men to see the benefits? If you live in Kansas, or Tokyo, or London and you have no idea what I am talking about, take a trip to Portland. Lumbersexual men abound. They are all things Portland. You will find them in coffee shops, wine bars, brew pubs, you name it.

I grew up in the Midwest, and sorry friends that still live there, but I do not miss it. Portland has my heart, yet when I recently found this great article about the Midwest called: “29 Things Only People from the Midwest Understand.” I could not resist sharing. I have to highlight a few key areas, and maybe some of you who have not lived or spent much time in the Midwest can still relate. If not, you can have a few laughs:

2. Why Steak ‘n’ Shake is the greatest restaurant in the world. Um, yes. I used to believe that, until I grew up and left the Midwest. Fries, chili at any hour of the night. It was often a place to hang out. For those of you that have not been, think of it as an amalgamation of a Village Inn, Denny’s, and if I am being very good to them maybe In-N-Out Burger. If you are interested, here is a Chowhound board discussing the merits of Steak ‘n’ Shake.

4. That driving in this is a piece of cake. (See photo in article). Yes, Portlanders could learn a thing or two about how people in the Midwest drive. Specifically, that they know how to drive when it rains, and when it snows and they do not freak out the minute those white flurries hit the ground. They have to as it snows a lot for many months out of the year. The easy part about driving in the Midwest? It is easy to park, and navigation is a synch. If you do not agree with me, move to Boston, then we can talk.

10. The difference between pretty farmland and boring farmland. Where I lived, there was not pretty farmland, it was boring. Maybe I should have moved to Kansas for the pretty farmland?

11. …and the good malls and the bad malls. Is there such a thing as a good mall?

12. That hotdish doesn’t just mean a “warmed-up plate.” Um, yes. Casseroles are the staple in the Midwest. I am not slamming them, it just reminds me of my childhood. Maybe I will understand when I have kids of my own.

16. That the state fair is the BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE. You will have to see the picture in the article to understand this list item. I do remember this to be true as a kid. I craved the county and state fair so that I could ride the rides and foolishly spend my money on skee ball and other games for a neon stuffed animal. But…is that really a product of the Midwest, or life of a kid in any state?

23. That fireflies are what make summer, summer. Yes, yes, yes. We do not have fireflies in Oregon. I miss them.

24. Oh, and bug zappers. I do not miss these. They are not seen too often here.

26. That puppy chow is actually quite delicious. You will have to look at the picture in the article. My mom used to make this at Christmas time. It is easy, quick, and yummy. Chex Mix + butter + peanut butter + chocolate chips + powdered sugar = Human dog food.

29. That this T-shirt speaks the irrefutable, God-ordained truth. (See photo in article, it says: “It’s called Pop, not Soda.”) I still do not know if I have been weened of the habit of calling it pop. When I was young if you wanted a Dr. Pepper, Coke, or Pepsi you asked for a Pop. When I move to the East coast folks thought I was a bit odd as most called it Soda. So which is it Pop or Soda?

What do you think?