Date a girl who reads

Posted by random olio

This quote has been spreading around Facebook. I have to share it here. It is so true. For all those book loving women out there, this post is for you. I am this girl. If you had a little camera or viewfinder into my world, you would find me with a book in the car when Chris is driving, in the bathroom when I am drying my hair, during toilet visits, curled up on the couch, in the bathtub, while I am running on the treadmill, snuggled up in bed before falling asleep, the list goes on.

Chris has lost me many times. I think he has finally given up. He knows there is no competition that can compare to an amazing book. He knows that if I am nearing the end I will want to stay up until I finish those last few pages. He might see tears in my eyes because I am so enraptured in the story, that I feel like I am there with the characters. He knows I may barter with him about something we need to do just so I can find out what happens next.

He knows he has married a woman who reads, and there is nothing he can do about it. He is smitten. He loves to watch the smile on my face when I close the back flap of a book, grinning because I liked the ending and cannot wait for a sequel. He watches for the next book that may come out from my favorite authors. He gets it.

I have copied the above link below so you can have more context for this quote I am referring to from Rosemarie Urquico:

“…If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at two a.m. clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.“

~ From Rosemarie Urquico’s “A Girl You Should Date.”

Psst…Chris, I write too.

One Billion Rising

Posted by random olio

Yesterday you might have received flowers or chocolates or gone out to dinner. A day of sharing love. I have never really been a fan of Valentine’s Day. Yes, I believe in love, doting, and pampering, but I think it should happen every day of the year, not a random day in February. What I do like about February 14 is that for the past 15 years, groups of women have come together to stand for women (V-Day). Events like “The Vagina Monologues” that Eve Ensler started on February 14 many years ago. This year, when researching which initiative I wanted to support, tears filled my eyes. I found “One Billion Rising.” The first few lines on the Girl Effect website says:

“One in three women on the planet will be raped or beaten in her lifetime. With a global population of seven billion, that breaks down to one billion abused women. On 14 February the One Billion Rising campaign will call for an end to such violence.”

One billion. I am one of those one billion women. I am a survivor. You probably know more of those one billion than you realize. It could have happened to your best friend, mother, sister, cousin, or coworker.

While we rise together as a force, we need to collaborate together so the number goes from one in three to ZERO. We need to end the violence against women. This is a personal, local, national, and global issue. Violence against women will touch every single one of those one billion women for the rest of their life. One billion is shocking. Absolutely shocking, horrifying, unimaginable. My tears are ones of anguish, pain, shock, sadness. How did this happen? How is this possible?

I know it is February 15 and I am a little late to share this information, but the message needs to continue to be shared. Forget chocolates and flowers. They do not matter if a woman is given flowers on the February 14 and beaten on February 15. We need to dance, rise, educate, and raise awareness for violence against women.

Please share this message widely. Join One Billion Rising.

This link covers events that happened on February 14 worldwide.

An example of: Grace, Patience, and Calm

Posted by random olio

I know I already gush about my husband, but many times my blogs just come right out of my fingertips without my knowing what I am going to say. This blog is a tribute to my husband.

I follow David Kanigan’s blog. This one on Grace really resonated with me. While it is a letter to a colleague of David’s that was retiring, the ideas he shared can apply to anyone. See my husband is a very patient man. It takes a lot, and I mean a lot to press his buttons. He is not going to yell and cuss at the guy that rudely drives past when he is already backing out of his parking space, he just shakes his head, waits, and then finishes backing up the car. He is not going to give someone the middle finger for cutting him off in traffic, or for being the one that takes the only parking space left, even when he is the one pulling into it first.

my better half

My husband is gentle, patient, and he keeps his cool. I am in awe. I am not always one to keep my cool. I am the one to yell when someone cuts me off in traffic, I am the backseat driver, and often a trash talker. (I know the other car cannot hear me, but it still feels good to let it out.) Chris always asks me, “do you feel better now?” or “did it help to go crazy telling them off when they cannot hear you?” Yes and yes. Chris on the other hand has grace. He might not like that I am stating that he is graceful, as I think many men might think that word has more connotations of something feminine, but sorry Chris, it is the truth. I love this quote from William Hazlett:

“Gracefulness has been defined to be the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul.”

Chris, thank you for being an example to me for what is possible, and for being my conscience and my reminder that we can be better each day. As I said earlier, I am in awe of your strong example of grace.

Are you planning for your future?

Posted by random olio

Have you thought about where you might want to retire? I have not. Maybe it is my age, but I still feel like I have too much to experience in life before I know what I want to do in my retirement. However, whether I know where I want to retire or not, I am going to do all I can to plan for how I will support myself in retirement. The place will eventually be clear to us. In the meantime, we are doing what we can to put ourselves in the right financial place for retirement.

I have strong opinions about setting up a plan for saving for our future. I will tell you why. Just like you might eat well, or exercise so you can be around for many years to come for your children, you have to do the same with your financial future. When my parents passed on, they had not a single penny put away for retirement. I do not blame them. They had to use whatever income they did have to make sure we had food on the table. My mom often worked a few jobs to make that happen. They did not have the luxury to even think about their retirement, and yet when they passed on in their fifties they had not a penny to their name. I have no idea what they would have done if they had lived. Would I, or my siblings be taking care of them?

Life is different now. It used to be that folks would have a pension and Social Security. These days I am not sure that Social Security will be around when I am in retirement. Because of that possibility, Chris and I believe we have to do our own part to ensure we have the funds available to retire. If Social Security is around then it will just be icing on the cake. Yet, according to Fidelity Investments, “41% of couples surveyed in 2011 do handle retirement decisions together—which leaves about one in six couples who don’t.” It is an interesting article, definitely worth reading further.

Yet, I am a bit shocked. 41% is not enough. I am grateful for the 41% of couples that are talking, but what about the other 59%? And, of the 41% that are talking, are they saving, or just talking? How many of you are taking care of your future? Have you begun saving for retirement? It is not an exciting topic, but an important one to ensure that we can continue to live, retire, and enjoy our future.

If you never try, you never know

Posted by random olio

If I had a song from 2012 that moved me, I think it would be: Coldplay’s, “Fix You.” I cannot get it out of my mind. It is amazing to me how emotional music can be and how easily it can tug at my heart-strings. Here are a few of the lyrics:

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?”

It is not the happiest of songs, but it is a song you can feel in your bones. I was running the other day (outside with music instead of on the treadmill), going down a hill, with my arms stretched out wide. It was a good feeling. That feeling of being free, relaxed, with no complicated thoughts bogging me down. Later in the song is my favorite line: “But if you never try you’ll never know.” That is the line that hits me each time. I think of different decisions Chris and I have made in the past year, and throughout our marriage. I think of professional experiences, friendships, and conversations with family members. It is a mantra about fear, taking risks, and chances.

If we never try we never know.