letting go

Life is an ebb and flow. Some years are full, intense, and feel like you are drowning in life and all that is required of you. 2013 for example was a year of crazy intensity for me, but not in the way you might think. The intensity was of what I had set out to do for the year, and not so much about working long hours, or balancing tons of competing priorities. I had set out to beat my goals from 2012, and with that continued my addiction to reading and running. I still have my addiction in 2014, but in potentially a more balanced way.

Last year I read over 100+ books and was running an average of 5+ days a week. I loved every minute of it. I loved wasting an hour of my time in a book, while running on the treadmill. It was “me” time. Moments where I could decompress from my day and jump head first into a novel, forgetting all else that happened that day, to pull myself out an hour later, refreshed, recharged, and ready for whatever came next in my evening. Somehow as 2014 has continued to evolve, my craziness over running and reading has not waned, but other things in life have taken precedence over my intensity to finish the amazing book I am reading, or to stretch my legs on the treadmill. I have played more, visited with friends, and worked on other creative endeavors. Maybe 2014 is my year to chill.

Has my life changed drastically to make this happen? Not really. What has changed? Mostly I have let go. I have relaxed and listened to what my body wanted at the end of the day. Sometimes my brain and body are so wiped out that I decide to take a hot bath and relax my body and mind for an hour instead of going for an intense run. I have relaxed more into myself and feel less guilty about not going for a run that day if my body is saying: “NO.” While I sometimes miss my daily hour of reading/running, I have begun to make other choices in place of my run/book. Every once in a while guilt will creep in and tell me: “You are lazy. It will hurt when you run tomorrow, or the next day.” Or I think wow, I have only read xx books and run xx times this year. But, who cares, right?

Do you have things in your life that you do not want to budge on, yet if you did your life might feel more balanced?

Do you ever have a bad few days? Where something gets stuck in your mind like a bad rut and you cannot seem to get over it? Yesterday I was needing some inspiration so I went back to some ideas from a book that I finished a few weeks ago. The struggle I am having is with change and making the right choices. Sometimes we make choices we are not always sure or confident about and sometimes we make choices that we are confident about and then later question those choices. I remember an idea from “Bright Side Up: 100 Ways to Be Happier Right Now” by Amy Spencer that I wanted to share:

“People change, wants change, needs change. And like a closet with only enough room for a certain number of clothes, we have to let some things go to let the new things into our lives. Don’t let a defeat beat you. See it as a sign of new things to come. Light your lantern, raise the flame above your head, and say good-bye to your struggle of trying so hard to make something work. Feel as free as a lantern floating into the night sky, ready to land at the dawn of something new.” Page 89

So…inspired by these ideas I am looking for new things to come. To let certain things go, and let the new in. I am going to try to let go of the struggle, the anguish, the frustration, and be grateful for the experience, the knowledge, the context, and the clarity it has brought me. If we never have tried we never know what the other side of the fence looks like, and we always wonder.

What do you do to be inspired when you feel in a rut or have a bad day or week?