Letter to Sheryl Sandberg

Posted by random olio

I have not really followed Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook COO) or her new book that was just released. Last week on Facebook I saw this quote and had to share it. Maybe I like it because I was a bossy little girl. Go Sheryl.

Then I found this letter to Sheryl Sandberg from Daily Worth founder, Amanda Steinberg, and I had to share as I agree with the letter. In it, she mentions a TIME magazine cover story, where Sandberg says of her husband: “He manages our money,” she says. “I have essentially no interest.” (page 5 of the TIME article). This comment is what Steinberg is reacting to in her letter.

Each and every woman should have a stake in and understanding of their personal finances. It does not mean that we always understand everything 100%, but we should try. I know too many women, that make a good living and would willingly turn over their hard-earned income to the man in their life, because they do not understand how to manage their finances. Please stop.

I know that it might be the easy way out, but you are not doing yourself any service by giving your money over to the man in your life. You are giving away your power. I would be the first to say that I do not always understand each and every part of our finances or retirement accounts. There are often little details that confuse the crap out of me, but the key is that I try to make sense of it. I want to know. I do not give up my power to my husband. We share the responsibility of our finances and make each and every decision together.

So in light of Sheryl Sandberg, and her great success as a woman, I encourage all women out there regardless of income level to care about their finances. It does not mean that you have to manage your finances day-to-day, just care about understanding them. You might pay someone to manage your finances, your husband might handle them, but set up a time each week or month to review your finances with whoever is handling them. Make a point to understand how much you are spending, and how you are saving. If you do not, to me it is like having someone take care of your children, yet you do not know their style. Which means you do not really know what is happening, right? I agree with Steinberg, all women should feel confident managing their money so that they are able to live life on their own terms.

What do you think?

Did You Pay For College?

Posted by random olio

I recently read this discussion called: “Why Kids Should Chip in for College.” It is a discussion I support. I had to pay my way through college and while it was tough, it was good life experience for me. It starts the reality that life costs money in a big way. Maybe you do not have to have your child pay for school completely, but they should contribute. If not, what happens when they graduate? Will you continue to pay for their life? How have you helped them to prepare for the next stage of their life where they have to pay rent, utilities, food, car payments, insurance, etc.?

These days with the zillions of technical devices we have at our finger tips, the ease of access to credit cards, and dwindling checking accounts, those graduating from college will have a harder time balancing the cost of their wants with the bills they will now have to pay, with the amount in their paychecks. Do we need to shift the balance of what we are doing for kids today? Have we taught them the value of the cost of life itself?

I remember a class we had to take in high school. I cannot remember what it was called, but what I do recall is that we had a section on stocks. We were split up into teams and we had to decide what stocks we were going to buy together based on the research we did on the company, the rate of return, and many other factors. I cannot remember how well my team did, but it sparked a new thrill inside me of something I had never been exposed to – investing. What I find interesting about this class that we were required to take, was that we never learned about the basics of money: balancing a checkbook, living within your means, interest rates, deciding between how much you can make saving versus paying off debt, and saving for retirement. These aspects of personal finance would have benefitted us way before we were ever at a place to actually invest in stocks.

I wonder how many college graduates know those core personal finances ideas. Are most college graduates savvy with their social media profiles, and maybe how to create their next app, but not ready for the basics of paying their rent, and saving for their next plane ticket? Are we coddling kids today, rather than finding ways for them to be set up for success?

What do you think? Are we preparing today’s college graduates for their best financial future?

How do you make your money decisions?

Posted by random olio

Do you talk with your spouse about money? I do, but I know it is not necessarily the norm. I am what you might call a money freak. Even so, I have relaxed over the past year. I am maybe now more of just a fiend rather than a freak. Growing up without many things has made me keenly aware of where I spend my money, and yet, that only matters if Chris and I are on the same page about money.

We were not always on the same page. It is something that has evolved over time. The evolution has happened because we talk. We talk about most purchases. Some of you might say that is a bit over the top, and yes it might be. Regardless of whether it is extreme, it works for us. There is no ill will about what either of us has purchased because we both agreed on it before dropping the credit card. You might ask, “Do you talk about every single purchase?” The answer is no. For the most part we do not talk about the normal everyday purchase, like grocery items, but we do talk about most purchases over $100. It means there is no resentment, and it is easy. It is as simple as sending each other a text if we want to make a larger purchase. If the other is not sure, we wait until we can have a regular conversation.

Why does it work? It works because we have a few rules, and it is grounded on a sense of respect for the other individual and their opinion. We have shared finances, so we believe that we have a shared stake in the decisions on how we spend that shared money. One of the first rules we have is that we do not spend outside our means. If we cannot afford it, we do not make the purchase. It would have to be an emergency for us to spend outside our means. I strongly believe that if you buy only what you can afford, you will have a lot less stress in your life, and if you take that stand you will feel more like you, then living outside of who you are. The result of living within what we can afford, means not living off of our credit cards. Whatever we charge must be paid in full when the bill arrives. It feels more honest and true to who we are, when you can actually pay for your purchase.

This is what works for us. It is in no way a judgement for how others make their money decisions. I found this older LearnVest post about how a couple handles their money decisions. I liked this line:

“Because of our open running dialogue about our finances, we never argue about money, unlike most couples.”

It is true. Honesty with open communication means little to no arguments about money. It does not mean that the conversations are always easy, but it does mean you are connected about how you want to live your life, spend your money, and engage in the world together.

What works for you?

*UPDATE* Wow. I am in a bit of shock. In full transparency, everything I just wrote about apparently happens only 99% of the time. In the time it took me to write this post, my husband strayed from our agreed-upon protocol for the first time in over 10 years and made a large purchase without discussing the final details together first. Although the purchase was made with the best of intentions, he knew better and got an earful from me. No, not because I’m a hard-ass and felt the urge to raise my voice, but because he should have had a simple, open dialogue about it first, come to an agreement, and then dropped the cash. #stilllearningtogether #patienceplease

Are you planning for your future?

Posted by random olio

Have you thought about where you might want to retire? I have not. Maybe it is my age, but I still feel like I have too much to experience in life before I know what I want to do in my retirement. However, whether I know where I want to retire or not, I am going to do all I can to plan for how I will support myself in retirement. The place will eventually be clear to us. In the meantime, we are doing what we can to put ourselves in the right financial place for retirement.

I have strong opinions about setting up a plan for saving for our future. I will tell you why. Just like you might eat well, or exercise so you can be around for many years to come for your children, you have to do the same with your financial future. When my parents passed on, they had not a single penny put away for retirement. I do not blame them. They had to use whatever income they did have to make sure we had food on the table. My mom often worked a few jobs to make that happen. They did not have the luxury to even think about their retirement, and yet when they passed on in their fifties they had not a penny to their name. I have no idea what they would have done if they had lived. Would I, or my siblings be taking care of them?

Life is different now. It used to be that folks would have a pension and Social Security. These days I am not sure that Social Security will be around when I am in retirement. Because of that possibility, Chris and I believe we have to do our own part to ensure we have the funds available to retire. If Social Security is around then it will just be icing on the cake. Yet, according to Fidelity Investments, “41% of couples surveyed in 2011 do handle retirement decisions together—which leaves about one in six couples who don’t.” It is an interesting article, definitely worth reading further.

Yet, I am a bit shocked. 41% is not enough. I am grateful for the 41% of couples that are talking, but what about the other 59%? And, of the 41% that are talking, are they saving, or just talking? How many of you are taking care of your future? Have you begun saving for retirement? It is not an exciting topic, but an important one to ensure that we can continue to live, retire, and enjoy our future.

Pepsi and saving my pennies…

Posted by random olio

Yesterday was my grandma’s birthday. She would have been 102 years old. I was talking about her over the weekend with a good friend and Chris. She passed away over 9 years ago and she still has such an overwhelming place in our lives. I have written blogs about her quite a few times (just type Granny Smith in the search box for a few past ones). Sometimes she reigns in our thoughts because of her funny sayings, sometimes in conversations and experiences we had with her, and sometimes I am reminded about the times she was not there for me in the way I needed her. It is funny, Chris only knew her for about a year and yet he still has such fond memories of Granny Smith. What a lady. (In the photo below, she is wearing my graduation cap.)

granny smith at my college graduation…

I think I take after her in some ways. She ate the same meals over and over again. She had Total cereal every day and a glass of orange juice. For lunch some strange sandwich concoction that had ham in it. Sometimes just ham and cheese, and sometimes ham, peanut butter, and pickles. In addition to her sandwich, she had Pringles and a Pepsi. Always a Pepsi. She would never drink a Coke. Like my Granny Smith, I tend to be routine with my eating. Green smoothie for breakfast and a salad for lunch. No Pepsi for me.

I also learned a lot about saving from my Granny Smith. She lived every day like it was 1920. Then other days she would splurge and dote on us. She was not into “change.” She kept her finances just as her father set them up for her. You can imagine what that might have meant if she was around in our recent financial crisis. Having said all that, I learned a lot about being frugal.

She lived within her means, and was not incredibly extravagant. She also approached money as though it would not be there later. I think I have taken this ideal from her. I am working on looking at money in a new, none “depression mentality” way.

It makes me think about how we impact others in our lives. Do you have friends, colleagues, professors, bosses, etc. that you will never forget how they impacted your life? The ones that push you and challenge you to look at life differently. The ones that do not let you get away with your crap. The ones that are there for you when you need it the most. Or, the ones that were just there when you had no one else.

Happy Birthday Granny Smith!