Incredible people…at the right moment

Posted by random olio

Today is my 100th post! I cannot believe I have been blogging every weekday for 5 months! An exciting accomplishment for me.

I recently read the novel: “Delicacy” by David Foenkinos. After reading it, I learned that the book was made into a movie. I would read the book first before watching the movie. I have added it to my movie list, but I actually already think it will not be as good as the book. Some movies just cannot compare to the description and places your imagination takes you to while reading a book. It is a quick read and quite cleverly written. The author brings you in to support the main character but you will later fall in love with the underdog.

A quote that was shared in “Delicacy” resonated with me. It makes me think about when I met my husband, I had known him for a while before it clicked within me that he had been brought into my life at just the right moment. AND, yes he is incredible.

“Thought of a Polish Philosopher:

There are incredible people whom we meet at the wrong moment.

And there are people who are incredible because we meet them at the right moment.” page 97

It makes me think about the movie: Sliding Doors. It used to be one of my favorite movies. I loved it because of the story line, but also because at the time Sliding Doors came out my hair was very short, and I liked Gwyneth Paltrow’s hair short and long in the movie. Her hair inspired me. I think I related more to her short hair character most. If you have not seen Sliding Doors, then rent it right away. It is a movie that really makes you think. The excerpt from IMDB says:

“Young Helen is fired from her job at a PR company, and when the sliding doors of the tube car close on her, we start to see what would have happened if she’d made the train, and if she hadn’t.”

Whenever I wonder in life what would have or could have happened, I think of Sliding Doors. Where would I be if I had taken that job? What if I said no to a party, would I have met that friend? We all have those questions, and Gwyneth’s character let’s us think about the moment the door closes and we do not make the train, what could have been?

What incredible person have you met at the right moment? What incredible experience did you have at the right moment?

A Different Route, or the One you are On?

Posted by random olio

Happy Monday! How was your weekend? Hope you had a relaxing, sun-filled weekend. We had some sun and some rain. The rainy day was good as it meant I got caught up on other things.

I was thinking this weekend about how we often do not know what is happening next. We patiently wait for things to shift, to progress and move forward, but it usually never happens on our own timeframe. Maybe it is because the person we are supposed to meet has to be in a specific place in their life, or we cannot move to our next job until the person in that position moves on to their next role. We do not see this until we are able to look back. Hindsight.

Last week I mentioned the book: “Bright Side Up: 100 Ways to Be Happier Right Now” by Amy Spencer in the blog post: Make Room for Change. Amy says:

“When life sends you on a different route, it’s natural to wish things had happened as you planned. But maybe the route you’re on now is even better. Maybe the scenery is prettier on a side road, or you’ll learn things you couldn’t have on the busy highway. Maybe who you’re meeting and what you’re experiencing will ultimately bring you closer to true happiness.” Page 54

Sometimes we do not always know what good can come from following our intuition. Or, we do not completely understand why we have made the decisions we have, but as we move forward we see more clearly that it was the right decision. Over time, good things show up to us and we see more clearly the intuition we heard was directing us to take the right steps.

Have a good week!

Make room for change

Posted by random olio

Do you ever have a bad few days? Where something gets stuck in your mind like a bad rut and you cannot seem to get over it? Yesterday I was needing some inspiration so I went back to some ideas from a book that I finished a few weeks ago. The struggle I am having is with change and making the right choices. Sometimes we make choices we are not always sure or confident about and sometimes we make choices that we are confident about and then later question those choices. I remember an idea from “Bright Side Up: 100 Ways to Be Happier Right Now” by Amy Spencer that I wanted to share:

“People change, wants change, needs change. And like a closet with only enough room for a certain number of clothes, we have to let some things go to let the new things into our lives. Don’t let a defeat beat you. See it as a sign of new things to come. Light your lantern, raise the flame above your head, and say good-bye to your struggle of trying so hard to make something work. Feel as free as a lantern floating into the night sky, ready to land at the dawn of something new.” Page 89

So…inspired by these ideas I am looking for new things to come. To let certain things go, and let the new in. I am going to try to let go of the struggle, the anguish, the frustration, and be grateful for the experience, the knowledge, the context, and the clarity it has brought me. If we never have tried we never know what the other side of the fence looks like, and we always wonder.

What do you do to be inspired when you feel in a rut or have a bad day or week?

Emotional decisions: Another cookie? New jeans?

Posted by random olio

So I just found out that yesterday was National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day. I had no idea. I did not see any details about a national day when I did my research for this blog post about Chocolate Cookies being the default cookie. On Sunday, I made the cookie recipe found on this blog post. So my heart must have known that National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day was just around the corner.

I digress. Enough about cookies. It is, however, a great introduction on an idea I just read about called: “gorging on gratification.” The idea comes from the book: “The Behavior Gap: Simple Ways to Stop Doing Dumb Things with Money” by Carl Richards. It is a great book on money and life planning. Carl is a financial planner by trade, but he talks about money in conjunction with life issues. It is a thought-provoking book since money is so intertwined with the choices we make in life. How does this pertain to chocolate chip cookies? Instant gratification. This article from The New York Times discusses Carl’s term: “gorging on gratification” and gives four ways we can delay or stop immediate gratification and keep more of your money in your bank account. I also appreciated this quote from Carl’s book on emotional decisions:

“Money decisions are emotional decisions—and making good money decisions requires emotional clarity. So try to pay attention to your emotions around money. This can be as simple as considering how you feel when you get your monthly investment statement or when a medical bill arrives in the mail. Acknowledging those feelings and being aware of their potential impact on your decisions can be important, often in ways that aren’t clear right away. I’ve found myself asking some really fundamental questions during the last several years. Who I can trust? What’s really important to me? What do I really value? How much is enough? How should I really be spending my time?” page 93

So maybe those freshly baked chocolate chip cookies are not so far from your credit card statement. Maybe self-control with cookies is not that far from self-control with money. Is it hard to control how many cookies you eat, or are they too hard to pass up? How about after you have had 5? Do they still taste as good as that first one? How about that 10th pair of jeans? Do you need them? Or are they different from the others in your closet?

Emotional clarity. Maybe that is a quality we need in all facets in our life. It is something I am definitely going to explore further!

Cuddles, kisses, tickles, and hugs…

Posted by random olio

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Sunday is Mother’s Day. I always have a hard time thinking about Mother’s Day. Often I try to think about it like it was just another day. Other times I get more emotional. My mom passed on 18 years ago. It is hard for me to imagine what it would be like to talk to her now, and to spend Mother’s Day with her.

Recently I finished a novel called: “How to Eat a Cupcake” by Meg Donohue. Yes, it is what I call book porn or chick lit. I have to read it here and there between the intense memoirs and the business books. A book with cupcakes in the title, well yes I am curious. It was a good quick read, nothing too exciting and nothing to really write about, but this quote resonated with me:

“She was a wonderful mother. Of course, I never got a chance to know her as an adult, so my memory of her is probably kind of sentimental.”

I can relate. My mother died 2 months after my sixteenth birthday. It was a rough summer. I got my driver’s license that summer. Yes, I was one of those kids that got it after I turned 16. I remember the day I got my driver’s license and went to the hospital to visit my mom. She did not know who I was. There were times that summer when she was lucid, but they were few and far between. That was like a heavy boulder on my spirit. I wanted my mom to be proud of me — to be excited that I had met this milestone in my life. I did not know on that day that she would not be around to see other future milestones. My high school and college graduations. My wedding. Well, to be fair, no one saw my wedding…Chris and I got married just the two of us on a beach in Hawaii.

I wonder what she would have been like as a mother to my adult self. It is hard to imagine. My memory is as Meg says: sentimental. I often can only remember the 4 + years when she was sick before she died. I remember times here and there when I was younger. Like the cabbage patch doll she made for me and how horrible I was that Christmas morning when I told her it was not a cabbage patch doll because it did not have a plastic head! The horror she must have felt for such an ungrateful daughter. I grew up in the 80’s when brand names mattered. So did cabbage patch dolls, garbage pail kids, and the brand name on the butt of your jeans. We could not afford those name brand toys and clothes and my mother did her best to make them herself. While they, for the most part, did not look like their brand name counterparts, the hours and hours of late, late nights she stayed up to try to give us those things pierce my heart. Would I do the same today if I had kids? Maybe.

We were not a cuddly family (although the below picture may look cuddly). Sometimes I think my mom was so busy keeping our family together and food on the table that she did not see that sometimes we just needed to be held or told we were loved. That is something I will do differently with my kids. I want to spend time making sure they are loved, disregarding the wants and whims of fitting into the rest of life. I want to remember times when she would stop and dance with me, or play, or tickle me. But sadly…I do not. I remember how hard she worked for my family. That is the love I know she had for us. I believe it was her way of showing it, and her way of coping.

So thank you, mom, for working so hard for your family. I know l will cuddle, hug, kiss, and tickle my kids. Most likely to the point where they cannot stand me anymore. I will do this because I do not want them to ever feel like they were not loved in that deep, physical way.