Discouragement

Posted by random olio

So I am a bit crazy. I run and read at the same time. I am a boring treadmill runner and started working out a few years ago by walking and reading and now I run and read. Today while running I was reading: “The Sound of Paper” by Julia Cameron. These past few days have been good and creative for me. I have been taking photos, painting (artistic not walls), writing, and researching and applying for jobs. All in all a good week. However, underneath it all there is a push of sorts inside me. One that has pushed me to tiny tears at moments (which is unusual to me). It is that voice that says what is all this going to look like? What will happen in 2012? Why is it that sometimes you work so hard for something, and then it does not come to fruition? Will we get what we have worked so hard for these past few years?

For some reason ideas come to me while I am running and reading and I sometimes have to pause the treadmill and write them down. At the moment I am in the middle of my run, and I came to make a note about this very post that I wanted to write, and instead my fingers would not stop typing. So I will just keep writing for now, the treadmill can wait, I will jump back on later.

Here is the quote from “The Sound of Paper” that inspired me while running. I wanted to share it with you in case maybe it would inspire you today:

“Wanting to know where we are going is often how we fail to go anywhere at all. Rather than surrender to the mystery of the creative journey, we want to know each sight we will see, each obstacle we will confront. Each ‘something’ that we will encounter if we dare begin.

The trust is that we cannot know where our creative trail is taking us. We cannot predict precisely who and what it is we will become. The only certainty is that we will change from who and what we are. We will become something larger and something more, but exactly the form that something more and larger will take is a creation that we have not yet created and cannot demand to know.” page 94

So as I go back to finish my run, I will try to let go of my discouragement, and work on trusting that all my creativity this week is leading me, inspiring me, and opening me up to be present and more aware of that “something larger and something more.” Just as our car mirrors tell us, sometimes what we are seeing is closer to us than we realize.

driving past Mount Shasta

Are you awake today?

Posted by random olio

Thank you David Kanigan. I love this quote you posted from Anais Nin. I needed it today!

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.”
― Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

So this is my song today. I have not been able to get this song out of my head. It is called: “Somebody That I Used To Know” by Gotye. Do you ever get that way? For days, and sometimes weeks you cannot get a song out of your head? It is the chorus that gets me jumping around. One night last week I was dancing around our office (yes you should have seen me, you would have laughed for a while). I am using it to awaken me today.

sleeping in Seattle

STOP HIBERNATING. As Ellen would tell us, get up and dance!

Granny Smith

Posted by random olio

My mom’s mom, she was Grandma Smith to us growing up. Later during and after college, I started calling her Granny Smith. She had her own language which maybe was a bit of her and a bit of the time she came of age. While reading “Stuffed” last week Patricia Volk, the author, mentions a list of things said by her Aunt Ruthie. A few she lists are ones my grandma would say: “Honest to God.’ “As I live and breathe.” “She’s not my cup of tea.” (Her list is on page 133). I add a few more to the list: “If she only knew.” “Fibber McGee and Molly.” “Six of one, half dozen of the other.”

Patricia also mentions what she calls a ‘zinger’ of things that her Aunt Ruthie would say that would sting. I can remember some of those myself. My grandma would buy multiple doughnuts and cinnamon rolls for breakfast, pop-tarts, make cookies, etc. We rarely had these at my house, and so they were such treats to us when we were at her house. After she filled us up, she would tell me that I was getting heavier and I could probably lose a few pounds. Thanks, Grandma! A perfect example is when she saw a picture from my wedding day where my new husband is holding me in his arms and she says to my husband: “Wow, that is a big load you’ve got there.” Nice one, grandma. I have a huge smile on my face as I write this, because while her words might have bothered some, but they just made me laugh. Granny Smith was a sassy one, and as she got older, I continued to be shocked at some of the things that came out of her mouth. It also means I laughed even more.

Granny Smith and me in 2002

Maybe someone should write a book: “Grandma’s say the darndest things.”

Have you been watching Homeland?

Posted by random olio

Okay, so I am a serial multi-tasker. Sometimes at night or on the weekends, when we are catching up on our DVR shows, if it something that does not grab my attention 100%, I might catch up on emails while watching a show, or write, read, play scrabble on my iPhone, you name it. I have now found a show where I am not a serial multi-tasker. It is Homeland, and it is my new favorite show. (I know the season is over, we are a bit behind on our DVR).

Usually I am not into this type of show, but after giving in and agreeing to watch it with my husband I am totally hooked. It feels like watching a movie in 50 minutes. Except that at the end of the episode you want more and luckily get it with the next episode. I find myself reviewing during the day what happened in the last episode, going over scenarios in my mind of what will happen next. We are just a few episodes into the season, and I cannot figure out how they are going to spread this out over multiple seasons. Claire Danes and Damian Lewis both do an amazing job. The story line is current, the dialogue and suspense keeps you sucked into each episode.

Watch Homeland, you will not be sorry.

Post a comment and let me know what you think – I am curious what other Homeland addicts think of the show!

Keep your energy clean

Posted by random olio

Since I’m from Indiana I always get the normal terms for sweep and vaccum mixed up. We said ‘sweep’ or ‘sweeper’ when we were referring to pulling out the Hoover and cleaning the rug, as in: “Go sweep your bedroom.” My husband has tried to train me that sweeping is with a broom and a hard floor (aka no carpet), but I guess you can take the girl out of Indiana, but you cannot take the Indiana out of the girl.

In any case, Friday’s Daily Om on January 20, 2012 (an email newsletter I referred to here), discussed sweeping as a way to look ahead. I am going to focus on this idea this week in my life. I had a great call with a friend on Friday about where we are at in our life, in work and relationships and I am at a crossroads. I can make the choice to go forward with what is or has been comfortable or I can try something new and go on an adventure! Either choice can have its scary or fearful parts.

I especially love this specific quote from the Daily Om: “Sweeping each morning prepares the ground for the new day at the same time as it deepens our awareness of the importance of letting go of the past to welcome the present. As we clear the energy of our space, we clear our own energy systems. In addition, we create a space that feels clean, clear, and open to all who enter. Be sure to think welcoming thoughts as you sweep, manifesting what you need for the day. Making sweeping part of our daily ritual tunes us into the continuing cycle of releasing the old and welcoming the new that is the hallmark of a healthy energy system.”

I am going to approach each day this week, letting go of my past and welcoming the present. For those of you who are not necessarily at a crossroads, you too can clean the energy of your space by starting fresh each day on the project you are working on, in a relationship, or with your kids.

Remember you are responsible for the energy you bring to each situation, your home, work, car, etc.