“MWF seeks BFF”

Posted by random olio

About a week ago I finished reading a book that I found because I was intrigued by the title. It turned out to be a good book. It is called “MWF seeks BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend” by Rachel Bertsche. Rachel moves to Chicago from New York City and leaves all her good friends behind. It is her quest to find new best friends in Chicago and she sets out to go on 52 ‘friend’ dates in a year. There are times that the book is a bit slow, but she does intersperse helpful facts and ideas from her research on friendship. It did make me think: people pay money to find the significant other in their life, why do we not put more effort out to find the BFF that might live nearby?

I wanted to share this idea from her book:

I recently came across an essay in which author Ann Patchett beautifully sums up the crux of what I hope will emerge in the final months of this search. “[Here’s] my idea of intimacy,” she writes. “It’s not the person who calls to say, ‘I’m having an affair’; it’s the friend who calls to say, ‘Why do I have four jars of pickles in my refrigerator?” I want someone with whom I can talk about the deep stuff –hopes and dreams and expectations and disappointments–and also the minutiae. Sometimes it takes talking about everything to get to the place where we can talk about nothing. page 258

Isn’t that the truth! It is normal to talk about how our hormones are this month, issues with other friends, boy dilemmas, but we also need to talk about the random, like bowel movements (yes, just like Oprah, we all talk about them, some of us might just be more direct about it than others), or why the squirrel in our backyard keeps leaving us nuts.

Rachel’s book shows every way you could imagine to meet new friends, some odd and some very creative. You can see by the end of her year how she is stronger, bolder, more direct, and more confident and approaches people in a freer way than she did at the beginning of her year. Unless you do not have time for new people in your life, I highly recommend reading her book. At the very least (even if you skim parts of it) you will learn of all the different ways you can extend yourself a bit more to meet new people in your local community.

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A side note: Ann Patchett is one of my favorite authors. I have read all of her books, and would recommend them all, as they each so different. You never know what to expect from a new Ann Patchett book. I highly recommend her most recent book, State of Wonder.

What is the most important thing you know?

Posted by random olio

Wow, what a conversation starter. How would you answer this question? I found it last week while reading: Accidental Genius by Mark Levy. It is a great book about using “freewriting” to solve business issues. I think the author’s ideas about freewriting can also be expanded into solving everyday life issues/questions. It might not work for all (especially if you are not into writing) but the idea of writing freely about product dilemmas, to what is bugging you, or how you are blocked can open the door to ideas and direction that can lead you to the answers you need. Often through writing we find a path or direction we had not thought about when we were processing the dilemma in our thoughts. Seeing it on paper can make you look at the issue differently.

I digress (sorry this tends to happen when there is always so much going on in my mind). Back to my question from his book: “What is the most important thing you know?”

It is a tough question to answer because there are so many ways it could be answered. At times when we are presented with such a big question, it can feel hard to answer because we want to make our answer sound so eloquent or well thought out. We want to sound wise, or worldly. So I am not going to think about eloquence or worldliness. My answer today is: (and not to sound cliche), that love is the most important thing. It is more important than the job we do, the amount of money we make, where we went to school, where we live…without love we have not lived.

We each have our own story to tell about love. Some stories might seemingly end with the loss of a loved one, a breakup, an ended friendship. Or they might show the depth of love through a long time marriage or partnership, through a sisterhood, a friendship since kindergarten. Some of our stories might be sad or hard to hear, but that is how we learn and grow from each other. I actually like those stories, the ones that show you have been through hell and come out of it not only in one piece, but shinier, happier, stronger, and more confident. I also love the stories that show us joy, laughter, and happiness. Both the tough stories and the joyous ones show us the ‘aliveness’ of life.

"Just be love" - on San Diego sidewalk

So how would you answer the question: “What is the most important thing you know?”

Pinterest vs. Mulu

Posted by random olio

I just learned about a new website called: Mulu. It is basically Pinterest but supports charitable causes. Mulu’s tagline states: “Mulu is a social platform for sharing the things you love and finding the things you need. All while supporting fellow users and their causes.” So I am torn. I have become a bit addicted to Pinterest. I love sharing things that I love or mean a lot to me with others. I like telling friends and family (or anyone for that matter) about a great deal. So I like sharing good things with others. It looks like Mulu is still in Beta, but just like I do not need two different ‘Facebook’ like platforms, I do not need Pinterest and Mulu. I would rather be on a site that supports other causes, but the dilemma is if your friends/family are on one site, is it worth joining the other? Also, a Pinterest account requires that you have a Facebook or Twitter account or you cannot join. Mulu does not require a Facebook or Twitter account.

Here is a bit of press and background details about Mulu and Mulu vs. Pinterest.

An interesting part about Mulu (which I am still on the fence about) is that Mulu, the charity, and the poster receives a cut of the profit if someone purchases an item based on your boards. So you actually make money from sharing what you love. I am not sure if that would deter people, or make them more interested. Imagine if you made money for each person you friended on Facebook?

What do you think?

view of my Pinterest boards

Nostalgia over mom’s pans/cookware

Posted by random olio

I was cleaning up the kitchen the other night and realized the 9×9 inch pan and large mixing bowl I was washing used to be my mom’s. The spoon I had put in the dishwasher was the one we used to make cookies with (in addition to the large mixing bowl). As I added dishes to the dishwasher and washed the pans, I had a nostalgic moment where I just cherished the idea that I still had these items. Gratitude that they were still in great shape and that I had kept them all this time. I also had a long moment of thinking of all the coffee cakes, cookies, and other baked goods that were made with these kitchen tools. I do not have a lot of physical reminders of my mom, but these little items made me grateful for all the years I did have with her, all the summers of 4-H where I learned to bake and we would sample my good batches and my not so great concoctions together.

My mom has been gone more than half of the years that I have been alive. This August it will be 18 years, and even though I do not always remember her voice, or know what advice she would give me now as a grown woman, I still love the moments when I see her so visibly. Even if that is while washing a pan she used to use, or taking a bite of her yummy coffee cake.

my mom before kids

To all moms out there, know that you are cherished and appreciated.

“Writing is how we ‘right’ our world.”

Posted by random olio

“Writing is how we ‘right’ our world.” Aw man, Julia Cameron, you hit the nail on the head. I finished reading “The Sound of Paper” (the book mentioned in this post last week) and went back to look over all the pages I tabbed. You may know Julia from what I think of as her most famous work, “The Artist’s Way.” It has been a while since I have read one of Julia’s books, but in line with the free time I have these days, it felt just right to pick up one of her newer books (“The Prosperous Heart” is also on my shelf from the library, which just came out last month). I have always loved writing, as a child in a creative way, and as I got older in the professional world. Words synthesized together make sense to me. Maybe it is strange to say that when words flow, life just feels more together. When ideas sync, it is a triumph. I have found over the past few years, that there is always so much in my head, and writing has been the way I have made sense of my world, my daily life, my relationships. For 2011, I made a goal for myself to write every day. The writing could be reviewing my day or writing through an issue in my mind, whatever came out, no editing. I found it so helpful, that I am continuing that goal into 2012.

I have also found it fascinating how writing is a form of documenting. I often do not read what I have written for a long time, but sometimes a thought in my mind will cement and I will remember that I wrote about it months prior and will go back and find that idea or paragraph. When I go back to find the idea I was looking for, I end up reading through older journal entries, and I am usually sucked into what else I have written during that time. It has allowed me to see how I have grown up or away from certain ideas I might have been stuck on at the time, or how I have progressed and moved forward in my relationships or my career.

a look at my journal

So, thank you, Julia. You are right, writing is how I make my world feel right. It is how I make sense (or try to) of why certain bad things might happen, or to cherish and hold close the good things.