Do you want to play Barbies with me?

Posted by random olio

Recently my sister reminded me about how much I used to love my Barbie dolls as a kid. I would bug her endlessly by asking her if she wanted to play Barbies with me. She could not stand playing with my Barbies and did not pretend to enjoy it, and yet I still always asked. Sometimes I think she just could not stand to hear me ask again and would cave in and play, and other times I think my mom told her she had to play with me.

Ah, Barbies. It makes me laugh that I was so addicted. I can remember that I had about 10 different Barbies, a cardboard-esque townhouse, a car (but not THE Barbie corvette – I had the knockoff version), and the beauty salon. I can remember the beauty salon. It had a special marker that you used to color Barbie’s hair, and then you could put her in a seat that somehow piped water thorough this straw thing to wash her hair. What a mess. What I learned the hard way was that you should never cut Barbie’s hair. It does not grow back, nor does it grow like human hair.

Barbie’s clothes were also impossible to put on at times. I can remember I had one Ken doll for my 10 Barbies. He had two outfits; a white tuxedo, and workout clothes. The tuxedo pants would not go on or off without my putting baby powder on his legs and in the pants. I guess you get crafty when you have to!

I am no longer a Barbie girl. It makes me laugh to think back to little me, and then to me today.

The secret to a full life…

Posted by random olio

I am a people person. I watch a room. I watch how one person treats another person. Are they paying attention? Are they distracted? Do they care about the conversation? It gets harder and harder these days to stay focused on life. Our pockets vibrate or beep to tell us that someone wants our attention. Is the conversation we are having more important than the vibration in our pocket? Who wins?

I recently came across this Anaïs Nin quote:

“The secret of a full life is to live and relate to others as if they might not be there tomorrow, as if you might not be there tomorrow.”

What if we did that each day? What if we approached every conversation as if it were the last one, for us or the individual(s) speaking to us. Would we be more focused, and care less about the beeps and vibrates from our phones? Would it mean that we would get down on all fours and play more with our kids, pay attention to a friend on the phone, or to our spouse when they walk in the door at the end of the day? Would it mean we would be kinder to the cashier, or the driver going slow in front of us?

Anaïs Nin goes on to say:

“This thought has made me more and more attentive to all encounters, meetings, introductions, which might contain the seed of depth that might be carelessly overlooked.”

What if being more focused in that conversation meant the other person felt more loved? Would that be so bad? What if you got to know them better, and a friendship blossomed? Most of the time I can tell if the person I am talking to is paying attention and focused on our conversation. When I find that they are not, I pull back. Why? There is no point putting myself out there if the other person does not want to be part of the conversation. It is not worth the energy. I am going to try to focus on others more and dig deep.

#AnaïsNingratitude

What my email needs from you

Posted by random olio

Do you ever have days when you never see the end of your email inbox? When you could literally spend the entire day reading and responding to emails? I recently read this Fast Company article “Why Every Email Should Be 5 Sentences Long.” and it really made me think. What if we were blunt at the beginning of our email if we need someone to take action?

I will give you an example:

ACTION: I need you to review the below and give your feedback by 5 pm today.

[Body of the rest of your email that needs to be reviewed.]

I have always been of the email camp that an email should be a conversation, and I am not backing away from that stance. Except. Yes, there is an exception. I think it depends on the audience and intent of the email. If it is from a company and they are apologizing for an issue that they caused to a customer, then they need to have a more structured email. They need to greet the customer (just as they would if it was in person), state what needs to be said and conclude/say goodbye. That process I still strongly think needs to happen.

It is the action oriented emails that need a change in behavior. These are the exception. With the volume of emails that we receive on a given day, we all need help to know which emails are important. That is thanks to those of us who may have colleagues that have abused the red exclamation point to the extent that no one really knows if an email is truly urgent.

Try it today. Any action oriented emails, put ACTION at the top, and tell others right at the beginning what you need them to do with your message. I would love to hear how it goes.

Know my thoughts, not my bra size

Posted by random olio

Ah reminiscing. Over the weekend I went through a file folder of writing from childhood through to college. I came across a packet of writing from May 2000. It is a compilation from a woman’s writing class by all the women in the class. One of the exercises, I believe (based on the result), was writing our “woman seeking” ad. Here is my ad from 2000:

“single, white, midwest female seeking: single man who is not afraid of short hair or loud voices, who can listen and share, who is CLEAN and knows how to cook, who likes to sleep and demands comfy beds, who would rather know my thoughts than my bra size, who wants to influence this world, knows how to change a diaper, and can cuddle all day long.”

I laughed out loud when I read it. Then I found Chris and read it to him. See, it is a perfect fit. How did I ever know three years earlier that I would find my single man who loves to cook, sleep, cuddle? Who not only knows how to cook, but loves to, and he listens, shares, and definitely cares more about my thoughts, and just laughs at my bra size. I have seen him change diapers, but know once that day comes he will sleep less, continue to cook, and we will listen and share with that little one together.

Maybe now I should write an ad for what I want my next ten years to be like. If it comes anywhere close to what my senior year of college mindset gave me, life will be bliss.

#womenswritingrocks

Holstee Manifesto

Posted by random olio

Many of you may already be familiar with the Holstee Manifesto. It has inspired many individuals in the last few years to live their life, and live their passion to the fullest. Last week, I came across this Fast Company article about mindfulness that mentioned the Holstee Manifesto.

A bit of background from the Holstee website about how the Manifesto came about: “Together with good friend and founding partner Fabian, a new journey starts for Holstee. This small team sits together on the steps of Union Square to write down the things in life they want to work towards, value and not forget, an inside document that would later become the Holstee Manifesto.”

It was a good reminder for me as I had forgotten about Holstee and it reinvigorated my thoughts to slow down more. I have a tendency to go.go.go, and not slow down too often. The article mentioned six ways the guys at Holstee handle mindfulness:

Presence // Architect your life // Personal time // Ask “why?” // Know your food and appreciate meals // Understand the impact of what you buy

In this go.go.go world, I try to keep up. I could do a better job at staying present, talking less, and creating more boundaries around my time. There are so many ways in our lives that we can slow down, and yet we do not. I find that I often cram as much as I can into each day. On one hand I live my live life to the fullest, and enjoy each and every day, but does doing that also take a toll? What would it look like to just be a vegetable for an hour a night, rest, relax, and ponder your day? Yet, the Holstee Manifesto says “Life is short.” So maybe as long as you are doing what you love the rest does not matter.

What do you think?