Valentine’s Day: Every Damn Day

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have something to say, yes, I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Aw hell I am not a poet, I cannot write poetry, and…

…I have never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. It probably started back in younger years when our schools would do a Valentine’s Gram delivery of roses + candy, and you always wondered whether or not you would receive one, whether it was from a friend, or a boy. I have high expectations, just ask Chris. On our first Valentine’s Day (I cannot remember if it was while dating or our first married Valentine’s Day), Chris was traveling and sent me flowers. They were tulips and when I opened the box, the flowers were dead. It was not Chris’ fault, but I was livid. I remember being quite clear that he never “send” me flowers again. He has honored my request.

Why does it make me happy to not receive flowers on Valentine’s Day by my amazing husband? On that very first Valentine’s Day together, I very clearly remember discussing it with him and telling him how much I detest Hallmark holidays. I just am not a fan. Why should corporate America tell us when we should shop, spend money, and love on our loved ones? It is bullshit. EVERYDAY should be a day that we love and pamper our loved ones. It does not mean that we have to give gifts, in fact I am actually not interested in gifts. I care more about how we treat, care, and love each other every single day of the year.

So, Chris and I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day. Yes, we might make a fun dinner together, and spend time together, but we do that every night that we possibly can. Yes, call us sappy, but see I still feel like I am in my honeymoon phase. I get excited to see my husband at the end of the day, and can text him near the end of the day to ask “when can we leave so I can see you, and oh, what is for dinner.” We might not have a relationship that is like many others, and we do not yet have kids, but we are close, tight, and well-connected. There are days that I worry about what bringing kids into the mix will do to our marriage, and I know it will be different, tough, precious, and make us grow in different ways. I digress, I still completely dislike Valentine’s Day. Who wants to fight over a table at a restaurant and pay double the price for a meal just so you can say you took out your loved one on Valentine’s Day? Why not do that once a month, or week? Why not find different ways to keep that love alive regardless of it being February 14?

So I veto Valentine’s Day, instead I think every damn day is Valentine’s Day. Every day should be about doting, loving, and finding ways to make the world better for your loved one. Love them so damn much. Hug them hard, cuddle with them, and do not, I repeat, DO NOT forget to tell how them how much you love them EVERY DAMN DAY.

“I eat the same thing everyday.”

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We are all creatures of habit. I am not one to have to do the same thing everyday, but there are a few things in life that are pretty similar from day-to-day.

As I mentioned in my blog “Phone calls: No thank you” last weekend, during Portland’s mini snowstorm, I caught up on my Fast Company magazines and found the article: “Secrets of the Most Productive People” in the December 2013/January 2014 issue. There was a mention of the CEO of LearnVest. See, I am a finance buff, so I am a fan of LearnVest, a website that helps with personal finance. I receive their newsletter, and understand where the CEO, Alexa Von Tobel is coming from with this quote in the Fast Company article:

“Since the beginning of LearnVest, I’ve never left the office for food. I eat the same thing every single day [an apple, almonds, yogurt, a salad…], and I never sit still to eat a meal. My ultimate goal is to create operating systems for myself that allow me to think as little as possible about the silly decisions you can make all day long–like what to eat or where we should meet–so I can focus on making real decisions. Because mental energy is a finite quantity.”

I get it. I feel like during my work day I go from meeting to meeting, and often barely know when I am going to squeeze lunch in, or eat while at a meeting or at my desk while quickly trying to catch up on emails before my next meeting. Based on the crazy day, the last thing I want to do is think about what I want to eat for lunch. I usually just restrict it to salad. That way I am eating healthy, usually raw food that my body can easily process. However, often there are many different versions of a salad that I can decide from at work which always makes my decision that much harder, yet by just sticking to salad, I have narrowed my options and made my brain not have to think so much in an already busy day. So I am not as extreme as Von Tobel, but agree that often when you have so many other decisions to make during the day, why complicate things even more by having to decide what to eat.

Are you with me?

Go out and play in the rain…

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There have been many moments over the last few days and months where I get a craving, or a deep desire to be mom. Whether it was a moment I witnessed with a parent at a store, or a restaurant, a colleague with their children, or a precious video online that creates the awe and wonder of what it will be like to begin the chapter of my life for motherhood. Everyone tells me that you will never truly be ready, and I am sure that is true.

However, when I see a video such as “Kayden + Rain” [click to view full article + video]. I think “I want that.” I want those moments of watching the complete and absolute excitement and wonder of life. Last week I was holding a colleague’s baby while walking from one building to another. It was snowing outside and this little one was looking at the snow and smiling. Most likely one of the first times he encountered snow, it was so precious to watch.

Watching Kayden makes me want to bring more adventure into my life. I may wait until April when the Portland rain is warmer, but she just makes me want to just go and play in the rain. I live in Portland, and yet when was the last time I just stood out in the rain and jumped in puddles? It has been ages. I know it is not just me, we all need to stop, let go, and live life just a bit more.

Go out and play in the rain.

Phone Calls: No thank you

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I am not a phone call person, but I do love my smartphone. I screen my phone calls, which means I will look at the caller ID and then not answer the phone. If you show up in my address book, I usually will answer but if your number does not exist in my phone, then I most likely will not answer your call. Is it sad that I want to know who is calling me before I answer the phone? Even so, I am usually faster at responding to your email, and even faster at responding to your text, than your phone call. Why?

A phone call takes longer. You never know how long it will last. An email you can decide when you feel inspired to respond, or when you have the brain space, and a text is usually short, sweet, and quick. Often you would get the most responses from me via text. I can remember the wall phone in our kitchen growing up had the longest cord. I am sure the long cord drove my parents crazy. When we received a phone call from a friend we would pull the cord as long it would go, and sit on the toilet in the hall bathroom and close the door (both for privacy and the heat coming from the floor vent). I no longer crave being on the phone as I did as a kid in that hall bathroom.

Last weekend, during Portland’s mini snowstorm, I caught up on my Fast Company magazines and found the article: “Secrets of the Most Productive People” in the December 2013/January 2014 issue, Alexis Ohanian, cofounder of Reddit said:

“To me, the idea of calling someone unprompted is basically saying, ‘Hey, stop whatever you’re doing and talk to me right now.’ If you find yourself in the middle of something, getting an unprompted annoyance is incredibly frustrating. So I try to respect that. Unless it’s really an emergency, I’m not going to bother you. And you can see people chafe at that. You’re in the same office and instant-message each other? Why don’t you just walk over? That’s the perfect example of how ingrained the status quo is. To certain people, it may seem lazy, but I would argue it’s much more efficient and considerate.”

I so agree with Ohanian. As we have drifted from corded phones, to cordless phones, to smart phones our etiquette maybe has not caught up. When I talk on the phone with a friend or family member it is because I have either answered their call, or I have decided to dedicate that time just to them. Now that does not mean I might not be doing dishes, or cleaning the bathroom, but I am not working or multi-tasking in ways that means my mind is not on their phone call. The phone for me is used when I can dedicate my thoughts and mind space to that person. Email has become a way to communicate when schedules and time zones do not align to be able to always communicate via phone. Text is for instant and quick communication.

I can also tell you that I do instant message someone in my same area, and not walk over to their desk. Why? Is it lazy? Yes, and no. Often we are working on different projects and rather than interrupt another individual’s flow of work, an instant message means that you can ask a question and they can answer when it works for them. What do you prefer? A phone call, email, or text message?

Double fisting the fries

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If you ask Chris, he would tell you I double fist my french fries, and I eat them like the world is about to end. He is right. I am not talking about drive-through french fries, I am talking about the perfect thickness, not too thin that they are crunchy/hard, and not so thick that they are almost pulpy in the middle, with just a slight crunch, and golden in hue. Topped with just the right amount of salt, and I am in heaven. Oh, and he is right, I will double fist them and fight you for what is left in the bowl.

Recently I finished reading “I’ll Seize the Day Tomorrow” by Jonathan Goldstein. The author writes a chapter for each week of the year leading up to his 40th birthday. It was not an amazing book, but interesting enough that I finished. He weaves humor throughout the book, and this particular quote, made me think about my two-handing my french fries:

“If manners are going out the window, then I’ll say this: Quit double-fisting the strawberries. I might want to have one myself.”

“How dare you!” he yells. “You’re the double-fister! Remember that time I ran into you on the street and you were eating from a bag of Cheerios with your left hand and a bag of Fritos with your right? Coming down the street you looked like you were wearing mittens.”

“I was wearing mittens.”

“Even worse! What grown man wears mittens?” page 35

Maybe it is all things salt. I am sometimes known to do the same with chips. Just the other day while stuck in our house due to all the snow, Chris and I had lime chips and guacamole. Before Chris had even one chip I had already made a dent in the bowl. He had gone into another room to get something and when he got back he said “hey, leave some for me.” Dig in quick buddy, you have got nothing on me. A little salt, some french fries or chips, and I am a goner.