Should you tell your kids?

Posted by random olio

I ponder questions about my future as a mom. I often wonder with my tendency to be blunt all the time, will I decide to tell my kids that there is a Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, or Santa Claus? What is the right thing to do? On one hand there is fantasy and fun surrounding these mythical stories, but what does it teach kids if they learn that we have been lying to them all these years?

I suppose from a tier of importance, Santa Claus has the most weight. If he is capable of bringing every child around the world a gift all in one night, while riding a sleigh, and going down any houses with chimneys, well that is not a loaded lie! Oh, and about the chimney, the man is fat. And, he has a reindeer with a red light at the end of his nose. How many lies has that added up? 5 so far. I am sure if we really looked at the story, we could count many more.

The Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy carry much less weight from the lie factory. For Easter, the bunny hides eggs. That does not seem so far-fetched. Bunnies dig holes, it could be possible. Was the Easter Bunny a boy or a girl? I am not sure I ever learned where the Easter Bunny comes from, and I do not think I learned how the Easter Bunny was connected to the resurrection of Jesus. Probably did not matter, because all I remembered about Easter was wearing a hideous “Easter” dress from my grandma, going to church, having brunch, and finding our easter basket. A regular Sunday, except for more candy, and a poopy Sunday dress.

Now the Tooth Fairy. I assumed the Tooth Fairy was a girl, probably out of the process of elimination that a fairy was never a boy when I was a kid. I had a hand-me-down tooth pillow, that I put under my pillow when I lost my tooth. I never found it odd that the Tooth Fairy had to lift my head to get the pillow, remove the tooth, and leave my half-dollar, all without my waking up. I have heard very different accounts of what friends received for a tooth, but we got 50 cents in the fancy form of a half-dollar. Calculating that I have 28 teeth, not counting the four wisdom teeth pulled a few years ago (I know everyone might have different amounts), that equals $14 on me. Of the three fictional characters I would say the Tooth Fairy wins. Over the course of a few years of my life, they only spent $14. If there is only one Tooth Fairy, then how come other kids received $20 a tooth (about $560 total). Does the Tooth Fairy play favorites?

I digress. I started this blog to discuss whether to lie to my future children or not. The verdict is still out. I know I sound like a heartless future mom, but I have strong beliefs about not lying to my children. I wonder if I can find a way to go along with the charade, while also telling them the truth. Tell them it is make believe and we can play along together.

What do you think?

Ants stole my jelly beans

Posted by random olio

Yesterday I was remembering an Easter Sunday from my childhood. Before I tell you what happened, I need to give you a bit of context. Each Easter we were given three Easter baskets (we knew our individual baskets based on the color ribbon tied on the top). Before we were allowed out of our bedrooms in the morning, my parents (a.k.a. the Easter Bunny) would hide our baskets and we would be set free to go and find our baskets before breakfast. There was also always a “family” basket that sat on the center of the kitchen table.

Easter 2013 egg decorating (w/niece + nephew)

Since we grew up in Indiana, it was generally cold outside, and depending on how early or late in the year Easter fell, we might even have snow. Due to the weather, our basket hunt was always somewhere in our house.

This specific year I remember finding my last basket next to a sliding glass door behind a heavy drape. Once I found it, I looked down and noticed it looked fairly black. Bending down to pick it up, I screamed. Not out of fear for what I saw, but because I knew there was no way I would be allowed to eat the candy inside my basket. My basket was covered completely with ants. Gross right? In the ten minutes it took for my parents to hide the baskets and for us to find them, the ants had completely ransacked and attacked my Easter candy.

I was mortified. To assuage me, my parents let me know that for that Easter I would get to share the “family” basket with them. I cannot remember if that was a treat for me, or not. All I can remember is that ants took over my basket.

#tooomanyants

Poofy sleeves, dresses, and guilt…

Posted by random olio

Do you remember times growing up when you told adults what they wanted to hear? Why did we do that? In our youth we should have felt free to say exactly what was on our mind.

I remember my grandma would buy my sister and me a dress each Easter. It was our Easter Sunday dress. Usually I hated it. I would wear it on Easter Sunday and then hide it in the back of my closet in hopes that she would never remember that she purchased it for me (or that I never wore it again). As I got older my mom encouraged me to just tell my grandma that I did not like it and that I would like to return it. It was always hard for me to tell her. I felt awful. I always thought I was hurting her feelings. Bummer, right?

a smile for the smurf cake, not sure about that dress though…

So…I wonder…what is it that makes kids feel they cannot be upfront? What made me just want to hide the dress and not discuss it with her? Partly I think it had to do with my dad who often would shut us down if we ever got the guts to confront him (which was rare). I think it imbedded into my thick skull that confrontation and speaking my mind was a bad thing. I was being disrespectful to my elders.

Something shifted inside me in college, almost to the opposite extreme, where now it is hard for me to keep my mouth shut. Now, that does not mean that I do not hold back. It also does not mean that I just steamroll everyone. I am pointed and thoughtful about my confrontation, but I feel less and less uncomfortable with saying what needs to be said.

What if we were able to raise children that had no fear of taking risks? Of speaking their mind and confronting their elders rationally? Does that teach them how to continue in their life with strength, poise, and determination? Sounds better to me than putting on that balloon dress to avoid confrontation.

What do you think?