Indianapolis

Yesterday a friend/co-worker shared with me a sweet story about a 24-year old college student, Marissa Plank, who lives in a retirement community. In exchange for free rent she gives monthly performances to the residents. She is a student at the Cleveland Institute of Music, and if you read this article about her you will find that she states she benefits more from it than she feels she gives. What poise and self-knowledge she already has in her life.

It reminds me so much of my grandma and how often I would hear her mutter: “Maybe I will be next.” I know it is a morbid comment, but at 93 most of her family and friends were gone, only a son and grandkids left. She got bored. A bit of a loaner, she was not one to join in with other individuals her own age. She lived alone for almost 50 years and did not want to change the way she lived. I can only imagine how she spent her days. Of course she saw others, different individuals would come and check in on her, but the interaction, play, and conversation (let alone music!) that someone her age would have experienced in a retirement community could have been perfect. Except that she was a bit of a loaner.

Which leads me to think back to almost 14 years ago when a good family friend started an adult day care center in Indianapolis, IN. The concept of an adult day care center was new to me, but over time I have continued to learn more and more about it. I am in awe of what Joy’s House does, and hope that communities all over the country follow suit and take care of their adults (as they are not always elderly). Joy’s House is a place that families can bring their adult family members for care during the day whether it be due to age, a certain diagnosis, or because they need a break in caring for them. Especially when they live with them at home. What a way to share a varied environment of activities in similar ways to a child day care center. I only wish I would have ever been able to encourage my Granny Smith to join. I would have lost that battle.

My hope: more Marissa Plank’s have opportunities to bless and bring life to older adults, whether that be with programs that offer the right individuals room and board in exchange for interaction with or through more adult day care centers like Joy’s House.

Parents. Love them, hate them. You start life being inseparable with your mom (your dad too), but you are the clingy kid, as we grew up, we all went through phases when we loathed them, they got on our nerves, or we thought they were just not cool. Then you grow up, life happens you win some and lose some, and your parents mean something much different to you. I know I am not speaking for everyone, some have closer relationships, and some have nonexistent ones, still the circle of life continues to ebb and flow.

I can remember one time in high school, or it might have been college, arriving at the Indianapolis airport (back when someone could meet you at the gate), and my dad was there to pick me up. He was wearing these horrible sweatpants and white high top sneakers. These were not name brand (at the time I cared). Additionally as horrible was his sweatshirt and one of his trucker caps. Of course I was glad to see him, and grateful to be picked up from the airport, but I was embarrassed. This was the era of “wear my brand name on the butt” aka Guess jeans, ESPIRIT. It mattered to me at the time. I was horrified that I would see someone I knew and that they would judge me.

Now I just think wow, this lonely man, my dad, was probably so happy to see me and be with his daughter on my school break and I put up walls because I did not like his sweatpants (well to my favor, men + sweatpants + public = not a good idea). In any case, we cannot go back and redo life. I have that memory and it brings tears to my eyes for all the moments I missed out with my father.

I thought I would share two precious father/daughter moments to inspire you. Whether you are the father, or the daughter (or the mother for that matter), I hope it inspires you to cherish every moment with each other. Moments are precious. Make sure you burn the good ones in your mind, not ones with purple sweatpants (oh did I forget to tell you they were purple)? The first video is a dad who returns from Afghanistan and surprises his little daughter:

One more link, (also precious). It is to a photo slide show of a father/daughter in their home before they move. The mother died at 31 due to lung cancer and the photos recreate similar angles to the couple’s wedding photos in the same house. Definitely worth checking out, but get a kleenex first. Father/daughters are something special. Wish I could hug my dad today.