What do we want people to feel?

A video made my weekend. What resonated with me? This idea:

“What do we want people to feel?”

What if we thought about that in everything we do? Yes, Apple designs amazing products. They think about keeping it simple, and if they excel at their design, the user will not be frustrated, they will not even think about the design, almost as though they are just one with the product. That is true for many of us. We do not even think about how often we use it (all the time), where we use it (on the toilet), that some people take it to bed with them (only when Chris is away in case he calls).

What if we took the question a step further? What if you went into a meeting and thought about how you wanted to make people feel? Do you want to make them feel included? Do you want to make them feel heard? Do you want to make them feel passionate? If so, how did you go about making them feel that way? If you come home from work and you think about how you want to make your spouse feel, what do you do? Do you instantly give them a hug and ask about their day or, do you sneak away to the bathroom and hide out? We could probably all think more about how we can make them feel happier, appreciated, and heard.

My favorite part is then near the end:

“Until everything we touch enhances each life it touches.”

The ripple or domino effect of doing good, being creative, of giving back. If ever person we touch impacts another, and another, and yet another. Does that make you want to make others feel good? Watch the video for your Tuesday inspiration!

Thank you, Kurt, for sharing this video from Apple with Chris.

“Do it right the first time.”

Posted by random olio

“Do it right the first time.” My dad ingrained that into me. Whenever we were asked to do something around the house, my dad would inspect our work. If it was done half ass, we would get the: “Do it again” rant, followed by: “Next time, do it right the first time.” Now I think about that all the time at work and in my personal life.

On Friday someone mentioned Father’s Day, and I thought: “Oh right, Father’s Day is Sunday. I guess I should think about that.” On Sunday we did what my dad probably did many, many Sundays: yard work. My dad was a contractor, he fixed, remodeled, and built homes. What that often meant for his family? We were like the cobbler’s kids without shoes, our house was often run down, at least the interior. I remember rips in carpets, a floor infested with termites, a leak in a ceiling in the dining room, walls that needed to be painted, the list goes on. I think my dad was exhausted from fixing other people’s homes. Or, maybe it was too costly to fix the different areas that needed repairs.

You might think, wow, Tami, this is a post about your dad, and Father’s Day was yesterday. You suck as a daughter, but let me tell you, life with a father has its good days and its bad days. While I have many memories of the inside of our home, our yard was my dad (and mom’s) pride and joy. It was always in tip-top shape. My parents worked for hours and hours each week to weed, water, plant flowers, and keep a vegetable garden in the back. They landscaped, arranged rocked, and pruned trees. If you drove by our house, you might think what a nice looking yard, and it was.

Now that I have a yard of my own, I understand how exhausting it is to keep it up, (and I do not have 3 kids to help either). I also know how rewarding it is, to sit outside and enjoy the fruits of the many hours of labor. There is an appreciation for all you have done. I hope my dad felt the same way, and looked at our yard with pride. Looking back I can see how “doing it right the first time” has weaved its way into the inside and outside of my house. I often approach a project with Chris and plan out how we might do something so we do not cut corners and have to do it again. It is not always flawless, but we try.

Last night, Chris and I sat outside with a drink, put our feet up, and admired the landscape. Miss you, Dad.

Hiding behind my book

Posted by random olio

I probably should have known when I was in elementary school that I had a voracious desire to investigate, learn, and make connections. Maybe it started with my passion for Encyclopedia Brown books. I made it my mission to try to solve the case and learn about any nuances before finishing the book. That has fueled me for many years to come. I love learning new things, finding pieces of information that are missing in a story, and piecing together how each aspect is interconnected with another.

Books would suck me in. I could learn about the drama, excitement, and sometimes boredom of someone else’s life. I could try to guess what I think the author would do, and if they did not, what I would do if I was the author. Was that just a thing I did growing up? Recently I read a brilliant memoir by Julia Sweeney (think “It’s Pat” on Saturday Night Live), called: “It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother.” I laughed a lot, and was impressed not only with her life, but the humor that came out in her writing. This quote from her book made me think of my own childhood:

“While I didn’t like most of my classes at school, I did love to read, always imagining myself as the heroine in a story. I thought being Anne Shirley, the spunky orphan in the Anne of Green Gables series, might be less stressful than dealing with my father’s moods. I identified with Frances Nolan in A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and her loving but turbulent relationship with her head-in-the-clouds father. But my most recent favorite was Are you There God? It’s Me, Margaret. I was positive I’d get my period any day.” page 36

My sister might have actually read the entire Anne of Green Gables series, but since I was her constant tag-a-long I saw all the movies with her. Since I was more of a Barbie girl, then a get lost in the field and dream about Gilbert Blythe, I still related to the cantankerous attitude of the sassy red-head. There were times when I would think living in that era would be much easier than my own childhood, or joining the group of girls in The Babysitter’s Club would make all my worries go away.

Just as I would hide under the covers with a flashlight so I could stay up reading, or sneak away to another part of the house to try to get out of chores, books were my solace, comfort, and adventure. Whether I hid behind my book, or let my book launch me into the world of detectives, popularity, or the lust of Gilbert Blythe, I was and will always be transformed by those words on the page.

Losing your temper

Posted by random olio

I have a post-it on my computer screen that says:

“You lose all your control when you lose your temper.” Author unknown.

I do not know where I read it, or who might have shared this idea with me, but it is a good reminder on those tough days when continuous curve balls are thrown your way. Whether it be the angry driver you encounter on the way to work, the woman who cuts in front of you at the grocery store with an overflowing basket, or the customer service agent who was curt and short with you, anger is at times hard to hold back.

For me, I find that at times my anger comes to the surface when I do not feel heard. It can happen with friends, a spouse, family, a stranger, really anyone. Their intentions might be 100% pure, but they might be distracted with their own issues, and the result makes me feel invisible.

A thought came to me the other day. For every situation where I want to react and get angry with an individual, I need to take that frustration and respond with the same love and care that I wanted all along. I will give you an example: If Chris lets me know he will take care of something for us, I then check it off my list of To-Do’s and expect he will take care of it. If I find out later that it was never handled, it might set me off, and make me feel ignored. Instead of reacting with anger, I could respond with how his actions made me feel, and what it means to me when he follows through on his promises. Yes, these are just tiny instances, but each little experience is part of a larger picture. Rather than reacting, stay in control, and share how you feel.

What do you do when you lose your temper? Why do you lose it?

Why worry?

Posted by random olio

I recently finished a novel that was a bit odd. I am not sure I can even try to explain the storyline, but it was different enough that it kept my interest. The book was titled: “The Family Needed” by Steven Amsterdam. One of the quotes that resonated with me (even if it was just for the story of a novel) was:

“All I mean is there is no profit in worrying. By the time you get where you’re going, the story will have changed anyway.”

What a great quote for everyday life, and so true. By the time we agonize over what we are worrying about the moment, hour, day has already changed. The story has changed. Why not just focus on the good that is happening right now, and stop worrying about the future? I am one that easily can worry. Will we be safe? Will we have enough money to cover that unexpected expense? What will they think? How will they treat me? Will I be prepared?

There are so many ways we can worry about the future. Whether about a sibling, our job, a child, friend, or parent, there is so much to worry about each and every day. What if your focus and thought was different? What if…you remembered that you had no control over the future, you only have control over right now. You could choose to enjoy the present moment, hour, day. You could choose to have that hard conversation with your friend, or decide to not let their life decisions bother you.

What story will you change, and what story will you let go of today?