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Cheap White Napkins?

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Over the weekend we had dinner with friends at a local restaurant. As I put my napkin on my lap, I looked down and thought gratefully that they had nice, soft, brown cloth napkins. I know, a strange thing to be grateful for at a restaurant. It is something that bothers me though. My pet peeve: going to a nice restaurant where they have white cloth napkins, enjoying your dinner, and then you walk out of the restaurant with remnants of napkins on your jeans or black pants. Ugh. What would I prefer? A white napkin that stays intact, or a black or brown cloth napkins that do not leave white particles on you. Heck, I have been to some nice restaurants that still give you paper napkins. I would take a paper napkin to the white remnant type.

The white napkins pill onto your clothing, and leaves the diner thinking “cheap.” Why do I care? I have had to take a lint roller to my pants, even after washing and drying to get the remainder of said restaurant off my pants. There are times that you are going out to dinner, and then have plans afterwards and you do not want to show the world the restaurant dandruff left behind on your bottom half. After some Internet searching I found it was a common theme on food discussion forums (for example: Chowhound.com, Foodmayheim.com). Many individuals shared how a nice restaurant would notice that you are wearing dark pants and ask if you would like a dark napkin. So, why not just offer them to all guests? Maybe I will be completely annoying and start asking for a dark napkin when I find I have been given a piling white one. Ah, they will love me (ha!).

I know, these are first world problems, but the thought crossed my mind, and sometimes it is the little things that make us smile, or make us feel appreciated. This last weekend, that little thing was a soft, brown napkin on my lap, a great dinner (inclusive of french fries), good friends, great conversation, smiles and laughter. No cranky Tami with white napkin dandruff left behind.

Valentine’s Day: Every Damn Day

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have something to say, yes, I am not a fan of Valentine’s Day. Aw hell I am not a poet, I cannot write poetry, and…

…I have never been a fan of Valentine’s Day. It probably started back in younger years when our schools would do a Valentine’s Gram delivery of roses + candy, and you always wondered whether or not you would receive one, whether it was from a friend, or a boy. I have high expectations, just ask Chris. On our first Valentine’s Day (I cannot remember if it was while dating or our first married Valentine’s Day), Chris was traveling and sent me flowers. They were tulips and when I opened the box, the flowers were dead. It was not Chris’ fault, but I was livid. I remember being quite clear that he never “send” me flowers again. He has honored my request.

Why does it make me happy to not receive flowers on Valentine’s Day by my amazing husband? On that very first Valentine’s Day together, I very clearly remember discussing it with him and telling him how much I detest Hallmark holidays. I just am not a fan. Why should corporate America tell us when we should shop, spend money, and love on our loved ones? It is bullshit. EVERYDAY should be a day that we love and pamper our loved ones. It does not mean that we have to give gifts, in fact I am actually not interested in gifts. I care more about how we treat, care, and love each other every single day of the year.

So, Chris and I do not celebrate Valentine’s Day. Yes, we might make a fun dinner together, and spend time together, but we do that every night that we possibly can. Yes, call us sappy, but see I still feel like I am in my honeymoon phase. I get excited to see my husband at the end of the day, and can text him near the end of the day to ask “when can we leave so I can see you, and oh, what is for dinner.” We might not have a relationship that is like many others, and we do not yet have kids, but we are close, tight, and well-connected. There are days that I worry about what bringing kids into the mix will do to our marriage, and I know it will be different, tough, precious, and make us grow in different ways. I digress, I still completely dislike Valentine’s Day. Who wants to fight over a table at a restaurant and pay double the price for a meal just so you can say you took out your loved one on Valentine’s Day? Why not do that once a month, or week? Why not find different ways to keep that love alive regardless of it being February 14?

So I veto Valentine’s Day, instead I think every damn day is Valentine’s Day. Every day should be about doting, loving, and finding ways to make the world better for your loved one. Love them so damn much. Hug them hard, cuddle with them, and do not, I repeat, DO NOT forget to tell how them how much you love them EVERY DAMN DAY.

“I eat the same thing everyday.”

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We are all creatures of habit. I am not one to have to do the same thing everyday, but there are a few things in life that are pretty similar from day-to-day.

As I mentioned in my blog “Phone calls: No thank you” last weekend, during Portland’s mini snowstorm, I caught up on my Fast Company magazines and found the article: “Secrets of the Most Productive People” in the December 2013/January 2014 issue. There was a mention of the CEO of LearnVest. See, I am a finance buff, so I am a fan of LearnVest, a website that helps with personal finance. I receive their newsletter, and understand where the CEO, Alexa Von Tobel is coming from with this quote in the Fast Company article:

“Since the beginning of LearnVest, I’ve never left the office for food. I eat the same thing every single day [an apple, almonds, yogurt, a salad…], and I never sit still to eat a meal. My ultimate goal is to create operating systems for myself that allow me to think as little as possible about the silly decisions you can make all day long–like what to eat or where we should meet–so I can focus on making real decisions. Because mental energy is a finite quantity.”

I get it. I feel like during my work day I go from meeting to meeting, and often barely know when I am going to squeeze lunch in, or eat while at a meeting or at my desk while quickly trying to catch up on emails before my next meeting. Based on the crazy day, the last thing I want to do is think about what I want to eat for lunch. I usually just restrict it to salad. That way I am eating healthy, usually raw food that my body can easily process. However, often there are many different versions of a salad that I can decide from at work which always makes my decision that much harder, yet by just sticking to salad, I have narrowed my options and made my brain not have to think so much in an already busy day. So I am not as extreme as Von Tobel, but agree that often when you have so many other decisions to make during the day, why complicate things even more by having to decide what to eat.

Are you with me?

Go out and play in the rain…

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There have been many moments over the last few days and months where I get a craving, or a deep desire to be mom. Whether it was a moment I witnessed with a parent at a store, or a restaurant, a colleague with their children, or a precious video online that creates the awe and wonder of what it will be like to begin the chapter of my life for motherhood. Everyone tells me that you will never truly be ready, and I am sure that is true.

However, when I see a video such as “Kayden + Rain” [click to view full article + video]. I think “I want that.” I want those moments of watching the complete and absolute excitement and wonder of life. Last week I was holding a colleague’s baby while walking from one building to another. It was snowing outside and this little one was looking at the snow and smiling. Most likely one of the first times he encountered snow, it was so precious to watch.

Watching Kayden makes me want to bring more adventure into my life. I may wait until April when the Portland rain is warmer, but she just makes me want to just go and play in the rain. I live in Portland, and yet when was the last time I just stood out in the rain and jumped in puddles? It has been ages. I know it is not just me, we all need to stop, let go, and live life just a bit more.

Go out and play in the rain.

Phone Calls: No thank you

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I am not a phone call person, but I do love my smartphone. I screen my phone calls, which means I will look at the caller ID and then not answer the phone. If you show up in my address book, I usually will answer but if your number does not exist in my phone, then I most likely will not answer your call. Is it sad that I want to know who is calling me before I answer the phone? Even so, I am usually faster at responding to your email, and even faster at responding to your text, than your phone call. Why?

A phone call takes longer. You never know how long it will last. An email you can decide when you feel inspired to respond, or when you have the brain space, and a text is usually short, sweet, and quick. Often you would get the most responses from me via text. I can remember the wall phone in our kitchen growing up had the longest cord. I am sure the long cord drove my parents crazy. When we received a phone call from a friend we would pull the cord as long it would go, and sit on the toilet in the hall bathroom and close the door (both for privacy and the heat coming from the floor vent). I no longer crave being on the phone as I did as a kid in that hall bathroom.

Last weekend, during Portland’s mini snowstorm, I caught up on my Fast Company magazines and found the article: “Secrets of the Most Productive People” in the December 2013/January 2014 issue, Alexis Ohanian, cofounder of Reddit said:

“To me, the idea of calling someone unprompted is basically saying, ‘Hey, stop whatever you’re doing and talk to me right now.’ If you find yourself in the middle of something, getting an unprompted annoyance is incredibly frustrating. So I try to respect that. Unless it’s really an emergency, I’m not going to bother you. And you can see people chafe at that. You’re in the same office and instant-message each other? Why don’t you just walk over? That’s the perfect example of how ingrained the status quo is. To certain people, it may seem lazy, but I would argue it’s much more efficient and considerate.”

I so agree with Ohanian. As we have drifted from corded phones, to cordless phones, to smart phones our etiquette maybe has not caught up. When I talk on the phone with a friend or family member it is because I have either answered their call, or I have decided to dedicate that time just to them. Now that does not mean I might not be doing dishes, or cleaning the bathroom, but I am not working or multi-tasking in ways that means my mind is not on their phone call. The phone for me is used when I can dedicate my thoughts and mind space to that person. Email has become a way to communicate when schedules and time zones do not align to be able to always communicate via phone. Text is for instant and quick communication.

I can also tell you that I do instant message someone in my same area, and not walk over to their desk. Why? Is it lazy? Yes, and no. Often we are working on different projects and rather than interrupt another individual’s flow of work, an instant message means that you can ask a question and they can answer when it works for them. What do you prefer? A phone call, email, or text message?