Shut up and write!

Posted by random olio

I love badass writers like Natalie Goldberg. I can remember reading her book: “Writing Down the Bones” in college. I still have it and pick it up every so often. One of the many things I love about Goldberg is her language, and how blunt she is about writing. Shelf Awareness recently had an interview with Goldberg that I wanted to share:

“Tell us a little about the phrase ‘shut up and write.” Oh It’s everything. Shut up and eat. Shut up and live your life. Shut up and run. We have such a monkey mind that goes on and on. I’m having trouble writing; I should hire a psychiatrist to discuss it. I need a really nice studio. I need a comfortable cafe. Finally, stop all this. Just shut up, pick up the pen and get moving. And really, it’s what I have said from the beginning. That’s really the only teaching you need.”

She is so right on. How often do we make excuses for what we are not doing, or why we are not doing it? If you want something badly enough, make it happen. Make the time, shut up and do it. Yes, I will admit that there are often times that we have competing responsibilities, work, home life, family that mean we do not have the same kind of time to focus on what we really want to do, but we can always make the time. How many of you can fit in an extra episode of American Idol, or Breaking Bad (fill in the blank for your guilty TV pleasure)? Yes, I am raising my hand. I often fill my brain-dead moments with some TV each night, but should I? Sometimes yes, but sometimes no. Sometimes I should get quiet and write.

When you start to complain about not having the right computer, desk, environment, etc, then get your head out of your ass and sit your butt down and write. Focus. Let it flow. Be present. Write.

#Shut up and do it.

What Is Your Story?

Posted by random olio

We each have a story to tell. Whether we had a tough childhood, or one full of fun, play, and laughter, there is a story in everything we do. I am the kind of person that walks into a room and accesses who else is in the room, what are the dynamics, the mood and energy level. I think it tells you a lot about how individuals will or may interact during the time spent in that room or social situation. In the end, each individual has a story to tell. Each in our own unique perspective.

If you listen to how another individual tells a story, you can learn about the art of a story, you can watch how they captivate a room. What brings others into their story? What is interesting the story they tell? What makes others laugh? What keeps them captivated? Over time I have begun to watch for those nuances when someone else tells a story, in the books I read, and in how people interact. Are they more dramatic, are they comedic? Do they start the story with a good opening?

Recently I came across this quote from an Oprah email:

“You have to live your story before being able to write your story.” – Amy Shearn

It has me thinking. What is my story to tell? What is your story to tell? What did you observe today that will help you tell your story? There is rich material in each encounter we have, we just have to be open and willing to watch for the color, the nuggets, the humor, and thread together the web that connects each story.

Naked Juice + Pound of Fruit = Fed Family

Posted by random olio

I grew up hating vegetables. It was not until at least the age of 25 when I started to eat them, and now I crave them. For the most part eating vegetables in my youth sucked. They were either frozen or canned, and many times microwaved or overcooked. All around gross. Now I am passionate about promoting vegetables. When I hear that parents have a hard getting their kids to eat their veggies, I think two things. That will change as they get older, and there are now creative ways they can get their kids to eat amazing green, leafy veggies.

Whenever I travel and have little to no access to vegetables, I defer to bottled green juices. There are many brands I have tried, but my favorites are Odwalla, Naked, and a few local brands. When I found out about Naked Juices campaign to help families receive fresh produce I thought – brilliant! Naked Juice states that there is an entire pound of fruit in every bottle of Naked Juice. Their green juice version has veggies too.

They have teamed up with Wholesome Wave, a non-profit that helps provide underserved communities with local produce. You can download a coupon from the Naked Juice website, that gives you $1 off any 15.2 ounce of Naked Juice. For every coupon downloaded from their website, they will donated one pound of produce to families in need. It is definitely a clever marketing campaign. It means more Naked Juice customers, which means more knowledge about their brand. It allows their consumer to be their customer evangelists, and families receive fresh produce. A win-win situation.

You can find out more details by going to the “Good Deeds” page on their website. You will want to be sure to watch the slide show. Naked Juice has started their campaign by donating 50,000 pounds of fruits and veggies.

If you crave kale, spinach, banana, and other nutrient rich foods, download a coupon, pick up a bottle of Naked Juice, and know you have helped to provide necessary foods for a family.

#winwin

A little wedding cake ten years later?

Posted by random olio

My wedding was different. We both wanted it that way. We wanted it to be about us. The focus was about two distinct and unique individuals coming together to take vows to spend our life with each other. We did not want to get caught up in making other family and friends happy, or to cater to everyone’s little need. I have seen it happen so many times, where the bride and groom get so sucked into the wedding and party afterwards that they forget to breathe and remember why they are bringing their lives together. The most important moments of a wedding day is not what you look like, if your hair looks perfect, or if your mom is happy, but those precious moments when you promise to keep your vows. That is what a wedding is truly about, the vow and promises that are the beginning steps of a marriage.

Now that you have heard my rant and thoughts about a wedding, you can probably guess that Chris and I got married just the two of us. We did not elope per se, because we alerted folks that we were going to run off to the beach in Hawaii to make our promises to each other at sunset. Getting married with just your life partner in tow might not be for everyone, but it was so right for us. We still comment on how perfect it was for us, and have not regrets.

Yet a few things could have been easier. Those things had nothing to do with our vows, or family, or even because we almost missed our appointment to obtain our marriage license. The parts I might do differently were the silly, unnecessary wedding details. My dress. A cake.

the cake made for our after wedding party

Finding a dress was complicated. At the time, I could choose a big ass dress from David’s Bridal, spend more than I was on my wedding and get something unique, or do what I did and purchase a dress at Banana Republic for $100. There was not a wedding dress line at J. Crew or Banana Republic at the time. I know I might sound old, or many other women before me might say that I had more options than they did, but whatever they may say, the options are now endless.

When I recently came across the website: Loverly, a Pinterest site of sorts that specifically focuses on weddings, I thought: “Bummer, wish such a site was available when I got married.” Sure, theknot.com was around, but it was more for creating a website and registry pages. There was not a pin board type site where you could find endless creative ideas. Even though I have been married for almost ten years, I recently had so much fun exploring the different boards on Loverly. We did not have a wedding cake, instead a very generous friend made a cake for us for a party after we got married. It tasted amazing.

Maybe for our upcoming tenth anniversary, I will have a cake made, invite friends over, and eat to our hearts content. The dress, well in the end, mine was perfect for a beach wedding.

How do you make your money decisions?

Posted by random olio

Do you talk with your spouse about money? I do, but I know it is not necessarily the norm. I am what you might call a money freak. Even so, I have relaxed over the past year. I am maybe now more of just a fiend rather than a freak. Growing up without many things has made me keenly aware of where I spend my money, and yet, that only matters if Chris and I are on the same page about money.

We were not always on the same page. It is something that has evolved over time. The evolution has happened because we talk. We talk about most purchases. Some of you might say that is a bit over the top, and yes it might be. Regardless of whether it is extreme, it works for us. There is no ill will about what either of us has purchased because we both agreed on it before dropping the credit card. You might ask, “Do you talk about every single purchase?” The answer is no. For the most part we do not talk about the normal everyday purchase, like grocery items, but we do talk about most purchases over $100. It means there is no resentment, and it is easy. It is as simple as sending each other a text if we want to make a larger purchase. If the other is not sure, we wait until we can have a regular conversation.

Why does it work? It works because we have a few rules, and it is grounded on a sense of respect for the other individual and their opinion. We have shared finances, so we believe that we have a shared stake in the decisions on how we spend that shared money. One of the first rules we have is that we do not spend outside our means. If we cannot afford it, we do not make the purchase. It would have to be an emergency for us to spend outside our means. I strongly believe that if you buy only what you can afford, you will have a lot less stress in your life, and if you take that stand you will feel more like you, then living outside of who you are. The result of living within what we can afford, means not living off of our credit cards. Whatever we charge must be paid in full when the bill arrives. It feels more honest and true to who we are, when you can actually pay for your purchase.

This is what works for us. It is in no way a judgement for how others make their money decisions. I found this older LearnVest post about how a couple handles their money decisions. I liked this line:

“Because of our open running dialogue about our finances, we never argue about money, unlike most couples.”

It is true. Honesty with open communication means little to no arguments about money. It does not mean that the conversations are always easy, but it does mean you are connected about how you want to live your life, spend your money, and engage in the world together.

What works for you?

*UPDATE* Wow. I am in a bit of shock. In full transparency, everything I just wrote about apparently happens only 99% of the time. In the time it took me to write this post, my husband strayed from our agreed-upon protocol for the first time in over 10 years and made a large purchase without discussing the final details together first. Although the purchase was made with the best of intentions, he knew better and got an earful from me. No, not because I’m a hard-ass and felt the urge to raise my voice, but because he should have had a simple, open dialogue about it first, come to an agreement, and then dropped the cash. #stilllearningtogether #patienceplease