Our lives are not vacuums

Posted by random olio

Sometimes we live in little bubbles. We get in our cars in the morning (or maybe on a bike, or via public transit) and go off to work. Some days we highly engage with others, and some days we may never leave our desk, but often the routine is the same. We spend our days in a fairly similar fashion, and then turn around and come home, partake in our evening activities, go to bed and turn around and do it all over again the next day. We all have our own form of a bubble, just some of us have larger or smaller bubbles than others.

Yet, we have the ability to pop those bubbles, to expand and grow our horizons, learn new things, or never take the same route home each day. Our lives are weaved together each moment of every day. Our choices build the story of what others think of us, good or bad. If we are continuously dependable others will begin to depend on us. If we do not show up as continuously dependable then trust begins to erode. We always have a choice to how we show up, and how we tell our own stories.

I wrote a blog post last year titled: “Brand YOU” and discuss how we each create our own brands, and decide how we market ourselves. I recently finished reading Austin Kleon’s newest book: “Show Your Work” and well I am always a sucker for inspiration around telling a story, specifically when it relates to a personal story. This idea specifically resonates with me:

“Your work doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Whether you realize it or not, you’re already telling a story about your work. Every email you send, every text, every conversation, every blog comment, every tweet, every photo, every video–they’re all bits and pieces of a multimedia narrative you’re constantly constructing. If you want to be more effective when sharing yourself and your work, you need to become a better storyteller. You need to know what a good story is and how to tell one.” page 95

Pop your bubble, remember that every interaction you have is a line in your story, and how you tell your story (via in person, Instagram, Facebook, etc) is part of the Brand you are weaving. Now with the Internet that weave is permanent and hard to unravel, so put some thought around the mark you want to make.

Loyal, rotten food, and finding your way home

Posted by random olio

Loyal. Yes, I am loyal when it comes to good authors. If I really love a book, I usually try to read everything else they have written. Ruth Reichl is one of those authors. Tender at the Bone, being one of my favorites. Quote: “food could be a way of making sense of the world. . . . If you watched people as they ate, you could find out who they were.” This is a perfect summary of Tender at the Bone, where she grows up watching food and people, particularly her strange mother, and the often rotting food she serves to her guests.

I relate to Riechl, not so much that my mom served rotten food, but that I feel I am a starer. I love watching people, learning about them and what makes them tick. Growing up in the midwest, I was a product of the 80’s. Yes, jello mixed with whipped cream, or pears molded into jello. I could go on, but what I’ll say is that I agree with Riechl, you can definitely learn about people by watching what they eat.

I just finished Riechl’s newest book and I could not put it down. Sunday morning I woke up early and decided to snuggle up against Chris and read as much as I could before my stomach made such loud growling sounds that I would wake Chris up. 100 pages later and I still another 100 pages to go (380 pages in total), we decided to finally roll out of bed. I silently geared up for my run later in the day where I could finish the book. The book? Delicious by Ruth Reichl. This quote stood out to me the most from her book, especially the part about food and finding their way home.

“A great meal is an experience that nourishes more than the body. The feeling stayed with me. The next morning, when Mother, Mr. Jones, and I were walking through those strange, crowded downtown streets, where people were sticking their hands into pickle barrels, pointing to smoked fish, and eating sliced herring, I saw the scene in a whole new way. They weren’t buying food: They were finding their way home.” page 277

Delicious is about a girl who ventures to New York City to work for a food publication. She learns a lot about family, sisterhood, love, and so much more. Riechl has a way of weaving multiple stories into one. She shares a story between two sisters, a father and daughter, an employee and employer, and multiple co-workers, oh and somehow brings James Beard into it all. Weaved in with food, food history, and World War II. It is a definitely a book to read, and you will want to postpone your to-do list to finish it. Warning: If you liked her die-hard foodie books, this has a much softer side.

Oh, by the way, I finished Delicious on my run, and now I only wish there was a sequel. Ruth Reichl, you may have only been a non-fiction writer, but I think you just opened a world for yourself in the land of non-fiction.

#readyforyournextbook

Stories, reading, and my mom.

Posted by random olio

I never remember my mom reading books, and yet I think she would if she had the time. Often she worked all day, had a second job, helped us with our homework, made our meals, cleaned the house. As many moms out there know, it is a thankless job, and yet I never remember my mom complaining. She stayed up all hours of the night for months to make our Christmas presents so that we would have something to unwrap under the tree. I did not know that at the time, and yet thinking back on the gifts she made for us I know the countless hours it took for her to pull it all off. If she was purchasing the gift she would put it on layaway months and months in advance and diligently go and pay a little more each week until it was finally paid off. This was before she had a credit card so it was the only way she was ever able to get gifts under the tree.

She was the epitome of stretching things to make ends meet. While I never saw her reading books, I always saw her studying the Bible, our church books, and praying. She read those periodicals voraciously. She was adamant that we all read well and, while I do not remember when I started to read, I rarely got in trouble for staying up to read with the flashlight. She must have known that one day I would figure out that I could either get sleep and feel rested or not and pay for it the next day.

While I do not remember my mom pushing me to read, I think she gently encouraged reading and knew I escaped into a book often as a kid. My home life was not the greatest place, and somehow I would jump into the plot of a book, and I could transport myself into a whole different realm. We were her guinea pigs while she was getting her Masters degree in Education. We would read excerpts and have to answer questions and I absolutely HATED the reading comprehension tests she made us take for her classwork. I hated it just as much on the SATs. I like reading, but I hated regurgitating it later with a list of questions.

As I think about storytelling, reading, and the passion I have for stories, I have a smile on my face. My brother-in-law makes up stories for my 2 month old niece and I know that she will have the adventure of story in her life. While I will not make her take practice reading comprehension tests, I know she will carry on the tradition of voraciously reading, like her mom and my mom. Stories let us live an entirely different life, if even for just a few moments.

My mom was a badass. I only wish she knew it. Maybe she did, I will never know.

Bring on the five year old me.

Posted by random olio

You know when you keep having a thought in your head, or a word that continues to come to you? Lately that word has been perfect, or perfection, or perfectionism. It has come up in my own life, and at work. Usually folks will say with pride: “I am a perfectionist.” Or they might say, “I am a perfectionist, but I do not look at that as a weakness, it is a strength of mine.” Whatever it means to each of us, the word has been on my brain. Thus, I am not sure why it took me so long to read Anna Quindlen’s book: “Being Perfect.” It is not a new book, it has been around about 9 years. Once you pick it up you can read it in about 15 minutes. All 48 pages are full of black and white photos. To me this is the best quote of the entire book:

“Give up the nonsensical and punishing quest for perfection that dogs too many of us through too much of our lives. It is a quest that causes us to doubt and denigrate ourselves, our true selves, our quirks and foibles and great heroic leaps into the unknown. Much of what we were at five or six is what we wind up wishing we could be at fifty or sixty.” page 44-45

There are times when I think trying to be perfect holds us back from relishing the life we are living that very moment. There are countless times when I have to make something look just right, or finish up that task, or make sure my house is clean before I can do x, y, or z. I have blogged before about how much my surroundings need to be organized in order for me to be creative, but what if that is only the result of wanting things a certain way and, dare I say, that certain way is to have everything in its place? Does that make me a perfectionist?

I am sure there are loads of studies that have already been done about perfectionism. I am not going to look them up. I am not going to do any research. I am also not going to feel bad about who I am or where I like to have order in my life. At the moment it works for me as long as I am aware of what I am doing and I do not let my ways get in the way of potentially missing out on an adventure, or a “leap into the unknown.” Yes, I will have to be quite aware of when I think I am not going to do “that thing” because it might be messy, or because it is something new and uncomfortable.

I am going to embrace the five-year old me. Bring it on!

Do you run like a girl?

Posted by random olio

A good book is always something that brings a smile to my face. This was a good one, maybe not on the top of my list for 2014, but at least one that was worth seeing through to the end. For some reason I have been reading books on running. I am not sure why exactly, but somehow when I read about running (and since I read while running) it inspires and encourages me to keep running. Try it sometime. Whether or not you are crazy enough to read on the treadmill while running, or if you listen to a book on your smartphone while running, a book that inspires running makes me just want to go faster and longer.

The book? “Running Like a Girl: Notes on Learning to Run” by Alexandra Heminsley. It is about a girl who never has run in her life and decides to train for a marathon. It is her training experience, how that shapes the relationship with her father (a marathon runner), and then how others ask her to train with them for continued marathons in her future. She is real, down-to-earth, and makes you realize that anyone, yes, anyone can run a marathon if they just put their mind to it and get started. It did not used to be this way, but running is now me. I am cranky when I do not have enough time to run, or if I am just too exhausted after a long day. I feel robbed when I do not get my run in. My thoughts are similar to Alexandra’s:

“That day in October was the day that taught me so much about why I run. It wasn’t a habit, it was a necessity: the essential realization that I can carry on when I am sure I am about to die; that to survive, I just have to keep going, keeping the faith that I could leave the house almost trembling with trepidation about what lay ahead, and if I could keep myself going, a few minutes, a few lampposts, a few blocks at a time, I would be improving not just my running but how I managed my life.” Page 109

Running keeps me sane. Just ask Chris. We often cater our weekend plans around my runs. I either will not leave the house for the day without getting a long run in, or I have to know that whatever event we are off to, when we return home there will still be time for me to run. Addicted? Maybe. Is that so bad? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. When I have an hour to get out of my head, be quiet and present in my moving and sweaty body I feel most like me. There is something rewarding about knowing I have pushed through, and in the end I am often given answers to questions I have been asking, and a greater sense of peace about my life and the world.

#runningismysanity