A Must Read: Ten Degrees Of Reckoning

Posted by random olio

Do you ever have those days when you feel like your life sucks? You agonize over all the horrible things you have been through, you ask yourself the question: “Why me?” Then, something happens and you meet someone who changes the way you view the world. Maybe this person exudes happiness and you find out that they are caring for their adult son who has extensive health issues and you are in awe of the pain and hardship they have been through. Another may have learned of their own fate by being left by a spouse and trying to figure out how to pay for their life, while raising all their children alone. You see their life challenge and experience in relation to your own.

This is how I felt after reading Hester Rumberg’s book: “Ten Degrees of Reckoning: The True Story of a Family’s Love and the Will to Survive.” Hester writes about her friend, Judy Sleavin. I heard about this book from my hair stylist. We were talking at my last hair cut about amazing women who are strong and have been through unimaginable life events, and yet are the people who have a smile on their face, and you would never know they have been through such hell.

Judy Sleavin is a perfect example of that. Here is the synopsis of her story from Amazon.com:

“In 1993, Judith and Michael Sleavin and their two children set out to live their dream: to sail around the world. But one night, a freighter off the coast of New Zealand altered its course by a mere ten degrees. And changed everything. After surviving forty-four hours in the water, with a back broken in several places and paralyzed below the waist, Judith miraculously survived. Doctors would later say she suffered one of the worst cases of post-traumatic stress syndrome ever documented. News of the collision made headlines around the world, but, distraught, Judith never talked to the press. Her body was broken, and so was her soul.”

Judy and her husband were very experienced sailors. They knew what they were doing. They had been sailing for 3 years and were 20 miles from New Zealand, when they were hit. Judy and her family were going to stay and settle in New Zealand and let their kids finally get the dog they wanted so badly. The Korean logging ship did not have their lights on, were negligent and knew that Judy’s boat and their boat would collide. They did nothing to change course. Judy later sued the Korean shipping company. Maritime law states that if a boat is under duress, any boat nearby will stop and help. The Korean boat, not only hit her sailboat, but it proceeded to continue on its way without helping Judy and her family. If they had stopped, Judy, her daughter, and her husband would have survived. (Her son had already gone down with the sailboat). Instead, only Judy lived.

What an amazing story of survival. I can never imagine what it must have been like for Judy to watch her son, then daughter and husband drown in the middle of the ocean 20 miles away from their destination. It is a reminder to all of us, that we can always endure more than we know. We can go on. We can live and still have a smile on our face, and continue to make the world a better place.

Thank you, Judy, for having Hester tell your story.

Women, Sex, and “Fifty Shades of Grey”

Posted by random olio

Okay so I confess. A few weeks ago I finished reading “Fifty Shades of Grey” by E L James. It has me wondering about women and sex and why there is such an interest in this book? Romance novels have been around forever, so what makes Fifty Shades so different? Is it the fan lit? That the characters were featured based on the characters from the Twilight Trilogy? Or, does it say something more about the type of literature on sex that women want to read? Does it say anything about what women feel is lacking in their lives?

Another confession. I never read the Twilight Trilogy. Yes, can you believe it? I am not a fantasy book reader. I also really do not like reading what everyone else is reading. I did not read Harry Potter. Lord of the Rings. The list goes on. For some reason, though, I wanted to find out about this Fifty Shades following. I had heard about it from too many people. What interested me the most was about women, sex, and what they want or crave. I loved hearing that women would tell me they would read excerpts to their boyfriends or spouses. What were they reading to them? What made them want to read a specific excerpt? Why?

I have mentioned before that I am a bit of a feminazi (or can be on certain subjects). So you can imagine that I would not be into the subordination of women, or of women being submissive. So I thought I would adamantly hate this book. But, shockingly I did not hate it. I will say that I agree with many that the writing was horrid, and yet even with the bad writing I wanted to know what would happen. I was curious while reading what parts interested other women. I had also heard that many women were hiding the book from their husbands. Why were they hiding it? That part shocks me. It is 2012. We should live in a place where a woman should not have to hide what interests her, or what she wants to read from her husband. It reminds me of a little boy hiding a Playboy.

So what does this all say about women’s sexuality? What are they missing in their lives? What have they not told their husband they want and what do they crave sexually? My only conclusion is that in general women must feel they have to fit this specific mold that says that women should not be like Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall’s character from Sex in the City). That we must be more tame about what we want sexually. What do you think?

Last confession. I got the second book. Because. Well, because I am curious about what happens next.

The Internet is brewing with “50 Shades” banter

A Recipe For Longevity

Posted by random olio

I just finished reading: “How Georgia Became O’Keeffe: Lessons on the Art of Living” by Karen Karbo. It was an interesting book, and I learned an amazing amount about Georgia O’Keeffe. She was more of a badass than I ever knew. It was inspiring to learn that she did her own thing in life, she did not follow mainstream thought and went about things in her own way. One of the quotes I appreciated near the end of the book talks about Chanel, Hepburn, and O’Keeffe and how they each lived long lives:

“O’Keeffe never lost her spunk, or her conviction that what she was up to at any given moment was somehow less important because she was older. This was also true of her fellow extreme seniors Katharine Hepburn and Coco Chanel. Hepburn lived to be ninety-six; Chanel, who smoked, died young at eight-eight. Like O’Keeffe, they were skinny, busy, and irritated until they declined a bit, then died. They were active, didn’t eat a lot, and followed their interests. They never let anyone tell them what to do. They were always a bit pissed-off. I can only assume that this is the real recipe for longevity.” page 214

My favorite line: “They were active, didn’t eat a lot, and followed their interests. They never let anyone tell them what to do. They were always a bit pissed-off. I can only assume that this is the real recipe for longevity.” That inspires me. I do not like to be told what to do, and I can be easily pissed off. Does that mean I will live a long, full life?

Georgia is an inspiration for pushing the envelope in regards to the art she made. Whether she meant to or not, she definitely was one of the first modern woman painters, well before her time. I have added visiting the Georgia O’Keeffe Museum in Santa Fe to the life list. If you have any interest in women, modern art, and badasses, then read Karen’s book.

Giggles In Heaven

Posted by random olio

On Monday I wrote about the book: “It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita” by Heather Armstrong in this blog post. The blog I wrote was more on the funny and painful aspects to motherhood. Today I wanted to share the awww moments of motherhood. The parts that make you cling to your spouse with gratitude for this little life you brought into the world.

“The best part of my day was when Jon carried Leta back to the changing table after her bath, and she’d lay there wrapped in the towel, her hand shoved as far as she could get it into the back of her mouth. He’d lean down and pretend to eat her neck, causing her to laugh. And she laughed for him like she laughed for no one else, a full-body laugh that shook her belly and caused her to let go of her hand for a second. Her giggles would fill the house and echo through the baby monitor into the living room and out to the street. I imagined that those echoing giggles were what the background music in heaven sounded like.” Page 159

Aww. Giggles in heaven. I love the laughter and absolute uncontrollable giggle of a baby or toddler. You can continue to repeat what you are doing over and over again to have that same gut laughter continue. It. Is. The. Best. Thing. Ever. And then Heather talks about the love for her spouse, Jon:

“In him I’d found the person whom I knew I would never get tired of, even in the most monotonous of times, even in the routine of being together every single day. I never thought I would find that.” Page 237

This is how I feel about Chris. Even if he is on the iPad dreaming about our future, and I am pounding out my next blog post on my laptop, while watching Michael Phelps swim the last Olympic event of his career, we are hanging out together. We look up and smile at each other and go back to our respective activities, my legs sprawled out on top of him. Aww the life. Can you tell how addicted I am to my husband? We live our life with giggles and laughter and maybe one day we will share those gut deep giggles with a little one. (Can you tell I am thinking very seriously about it!)

Again, I say, read Heather’s book. It is worth it. Okay I am done touting her book. You will not hear another peep about it.

Cheeseburgers and Staples

Posted by random olio

I just finished reading: “It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita” by Heather Armstrong. I could not stop saying: “Chris, Chris, I have to read this to you.” I might have to write about this book a few times because of just how blunt and hilarious Heather writes. Sometimes it is that potty humor that makes her funny, and sometimes it is in that I-relate-that-would-be-me kind of way.

In her book she takes you from trying to conceive, to her pregnancy, to the first 9 months of her baby girl’s life. She talks about her struggles with staying sane (literally) and what moms go through to not lose it. Maybe I can relate more right now because I am thinking so much about motherhood, but if you are a mother, or are thinking about taking that step, or just want a good laugh, then read on.

“An then, in what was one of the most memorable moments of the pregnancy, the ultrasound technician pointed to an unrecognizable shadow on the monitor and said, “See that cheeseburger? That means it’s a girl.” And then he circled her cheeseburger for emphasis. Jon had been holding my hand to give me strength to hold my pee, but right then he let go and cupped his tear-stained face, “You have a very important job,” he said, looking at me with the eyes I had fallen in love with. “You’re going to have to teach our daughter about her cheeseburger.” Page 39

I love this. It just made me smile. The next excerpt I want to share has to do with breast-feeding and what it feels like for a woman to breast feed. Men, yes please keep reading. I think it is worth it for you to know her explanation. Not that you do not respect women for what they have to go through to breast feed a child, but her description I think will take your respect to a new level.

“The only way to describe it to a man is to suggest that he lay out his naked penis on a chopping block, place a manual stapler on the sacred helmet head, and bang it a couple hundred staples. The first two staples might hurt a little, but after that it just becomes numb, right? And by the eighty-eighth staple you’re like, AREN’T YOU FULL YET? But then the comparison really fails because a man doesn’t have two penises, and after stapling the first boob the baby moves again on to the other boob and the happy stapling begins ALL OVER AGAIN.” Page 83

I have more to share, but I think I will save it for another post. The other ideas are more for the soft side of parenting, but I thought I would first start with cheeseburgers and staples. Go. Read. Her. Book.