Random, coherent, middle of the night ramblings

Posted by random olio

Saturday night I woke up in the middle of the night and made a note of the thoughts that were in my head. When I woke up Sunday morning, this is what the notepad said:

“Think about the past. Strategize about the future. Live in the present.”

Wow. I wish I had more great moments like that when I am awake. Since I feel it is a great idea, I googled it to see if anyone else had that quote, and did not find anything. So maybe I have my first “quote.” Feel free to share.

I have been thinking a lot about who I am, what I believe in, what my mission in life is, and what I stand for. Not only have I been thinking about it, but I have been processing how I might eloquently put it all into words. A few weeks ago, I was doing an activity with my team at work and I had an ah ha moment. You know the kind. If you were on Oprah she might say she got goose bumps. It was a moment of clarity for me. I am not going to share just yet (yes you’ll have to be patient a little longer). I would like to sand the rough edges off my little mission statement. It is not yet ready for consumption.

Do you have your own mission statement? Just a few sentences you can share with others that tells them a lot about you. What are you passionate about, what pisses you off, what motivates you? Once I am done with the sand paper, I will share it here. I would love to hear from others about what steps they have taken to put together their own mission statement.

The laughing driver…and one angry passenger

Posted by random olio

On Saturday, Chris and I were in Portland driving down a fairly busy street. We had the right of way, and were cruising along, when a car that was at a cross street decided they were going to try to cross the street and gunned it. I am fairly sure that the woman driving did not see us. Chris slammed on the brakes, and laid on the horn and they came inches from hitting us.

We drove on. I turned back to look at the car that almost hit us. Partly because I was pissed beyond belief, and partly because I wanted to make eye contact with the driver. At that moment, all I could think about was the fact that they would have slammed into us right at the driver side door. Right into Chris. So I had reason to be livid. When I looked back, the woman driving the car was LAUGHING. I wanted to have Chris cross over three lanes, turn right immediately, and find them. (That would be my father’s anger coming out of me). I wanted them to know that my heart was jumping out of my body, that everything in our backseat was on the floor or under our front seats due to how hard Chris had to brake.

Turning and looking at the driver all happened in a matter of five seconds. Yet, for the rest of the day, the woman laughing is what kept coming back into my thoughts. Why would she have been laughing? Was she nervous that she almost crashed into us? Was she too into her conversation that she did not even care that she almost caused an accident? Was she mocking me looking back at her with a scowl on my face?

Chris is precious cargo to me. Food for thought. Watch the road when driving. We all have precious cargo inside.

Does Silence Mean Disagreement?

Posted by random olio

For a while, I have wondered, if silence sometimes means disagreement. You are out with friends, or involved in a long work meeting. A friend at the table, or a colleague in your work meeting is quiet most of the time. Are they bored? Do they think most of the conversation is small talk? Why are they not talking? I read an article recently (I wish I remembered where is was) about silence = disagreement. The idea has not left my head. Instead, it has been silently percolating in my thoughts over the past few weeks. It has meant that I have watched interactions with others and when I find someone not speak up, I wonder if they disagree, but have decided to not speak up.

What do you do in those situations? I find that for the most part, I am usually completely transparent and share just what is on my mind. I sometimes wonder if I should keep my mouth shut more. Maybe silence is not always so bad? Does it truly mean that you disagree, or does it mean you maybe just do not care? Or does it mean you do not feel comfortable enough to share their thoughts and opinion?

What do you think? If you are silent in certain situations, why are you silent? Do you always feel comfortable, or is silence a sign of your discomfort? Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Are you an Introvert or an Extrovert?

Posted by random olio

Are you and Introvert or an Extrovert? I just finished reading the book: “Quiet: The Power of Introverts” by Susan Cain. It is funny, I always sort of thought of myself as an extrovert, but after reading Cain’s book I think I lean more towards being an introvert, and at times am more of what she calls an “Ambivert.” An ambivert is someone who is in the middle between an introvert and an extrovert. After finishing her book, it makes me more “okay” with being an introvert. She talks throughout her book about how our society, schools, and companies award extroverts, and yet there is just as much of a need for introverts. I think it is the first book I read that truly made me feel that it is okay to be an introvert. Here is a short excerpt from Cain’s book:

“Finding restorative niches isn’t always easy. You might want to read quietly by the fire on Saturday nights, but if your spouse wishes you’d spend those evenings out with her large circle of friends, then what? You might want to retreat to the oasis of your private office in between sales calls, but what if your company just switched over to an open office plan? If you plan to exercise free traits, you’ll need the help of friends, family, and colleagues. Which is why Professor Little calls, with great passion, for each of us to enter into a ‘a Free Trait Agreement.’

…A Free Trait Agreement acknowledges that we’ll each act out of character some of the time—in exchange for being ourselves the rest of the time. It’s a Free Trait Agreement when a wife who wants to go out every Saturday night and a husband wants to relax by the fire work out a schedule: half the time we’ll go out and half the time we’ll stay home. It’s a Free Trait Agreement when you attend your extroverted best friend’s wedding shower, engagement celebration, and bachelorette party, but she understands when you skip out on the three days’ worth of group activities leading up to the wedding itself.” Page 220-221

This resonates with me because as a child, I preferred to stay home and read a book (and I still do). Yes, I liked riding my bikes and hanging with my friends, but at the end of the day I hated the annoying social ladder of who was mad at who, who was new friends with who, and who was now on the outskirts of the social circle. It always seemed easier to me to find my book and jump into the adventurous world the author had cleverly crafted for me. I learned through the characters. I got excited about their worlds, mysteries, and dramas. It meant I could create my own world, where there were no bullies, no comparisons, and no race to maintain my status in the world.

Today, there are times when I do not feel much different than I did as a kid. I have often asked Chris, “Have I become a boring adult?” Yet, I love my life. I enjoy snuggling on the couch reading a book, while Chris is next to me watching an action movie I have no interest in seeing. I like the time to myself when I go for a run. I enjoy being at home. I do not need many social engagements to feel better about myself. If anything, I prefer less social interactions all the time. After a full week of work, I just want to relax and decompress at home, and be with Chris. I guess that makes me mostly an introvert.

So are you an introvert or an extrovert? Read Cain’s book for more details!

A Letter from Mother to Daughter

Posted by random olio

I found this on someone’s Pinterest page and it brought tears to my eyes. I am not sure if it was the photo or the letter itself:

Letter from a Mother to a Daughter: “My dear girl, the day you see I’m getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I’m going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don’t interrupt to say: “You said the same thing a minute ago”… Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep…..

It made me think of my mom and my grandma. It made me think of all the times I was not patient with them. The times a few years ago when my grandma would call me at 4 a.m. confused and ask why I had not come over yet. Even though I was on the West Coast and she lived in the Midwest. I would talk to her and get her calmed down and she would call me back an hour later confused again.

I am sharing it with you today, in hopes that you will be patient with your mom or dad, grandma or grandpa. That you will listen and understand when they repeat themselves. That you will love them anyway. And, for those of you with little ones, that you will read the story again, and again, and again.