Listen More, Talk Less: Part Deux

How often do you formulate what you are going to say while someone else is talking? How often do you truly listen to what the other individual is saying to you? How often do you check out, get bored, or have too many other things going on in your brain? I am definitely known to have way to much going on in my brain, to the extent that sometimes the words that come out of my mouth sound like babble and do not make sense to others. Maybe it is information overload.

We all could listen more, but we can also talk less. They go hand in hand. It makes me ask the questions: “Do you listen to get to the next part of your day, do you truly care when listening, and do you talk to talk and be heard, or because you have something to say? Sometimes I think that some people talk to fill the open space. They are uncomfortable with silence, and quiet moments, so they do what they can to fill that silence, to fill that space. However awkward it might be, for them and everyone else.

Here is a thought (not grand, or new, or cutting edge). What if you listen more? Truly and intensely listen. Ask questions. Explore if you truly understand what someone else is saying and take the focus off you. Hard? Yes. Worth it? Yes. I care about each individual I interact with and I want them to feel that care. I genuinely want to listen, and I want others to give me the same respect and focus. Is that so hard? Are we asking each other to do too much? Hell no. We just need to get rid of our brainless distractions and “be” with another. Listen, go deep, be present, and get rid of mindless chatter, pointless conversation, and focus on what really matters.

I am going to make it a focus to keep working on how I listen. Let my mind slow down from all the elements of multitasking, breathe, and be in the moment where I truly focus on the other individual and give them my time.

Will you join me?

Want to read, List More, Talk Less (Part One)?

Does Silence Mean Disagreement?

For a while, I have wondered, if silence sometimes means disagreement. You are out with friends, or involved in a long work meeting. A friend at the table, or a colleague in your work meeting is quiet most of the time. Are they bored? Do they think most of the conversation is small talk? Why are they not talking? I read an article recently (I wish I remembered where is was) about silence = disagreement. The idea has not left my head. Instead, it has been silently percolating in my thoughts over the past few weeks. It has meant that I have watched interactions with others and when I find someone not speak up, I wonder if they disagree, but have decided to not speak up.

What do you do in those situations? I find that for the most part, I am usually completely transparent and share just what is on my mind. I sometimes wonder if I should keep my mouth shut more. Maybe silence is not always so bad? Does it truly mean that you disagree, or does it mean you maybe just do not care? Or does it mean you do not feel comfortable enough to share their thoughts and opinion?

What do you think? If you are silent in certain situations, why are you silent? Do you always feel comfortable, or is silence a sign of your discomfort? Leave a comment and let me know what you think!