A writer, a scientist, a talker

A good friend shared this quote recently via social media, and it was a reminder to me to keep writing. You know those days when you say: “why am I still doing this?” Lots of things in our life take time, and sometimes that means time away from our family, friends, work. Each activity can be a sacrifice to not be doing something or being with someone else. Sometimes my blog has been that for me. At other times I wonder why I write at all. The quote my friend shared was from Chris Guillebeau:

“That’s the promise: you will live more curiously if you write. You will become a scientist, if not of the natural world than of whatever world you care about. More of that world will pop alive. You will see more when you look at it.

Writing needn’t be a formal enterprise to have this effect. You don’t have to write well. You don’t even have to “write,” exactly—you can just talk onto the page.”

I have read his book “The Art of Non-Conformity” and have a hold on his most recent book “The Happiness of Pursuit” which came out in early September. I loved the idea of being a scientist. I am like that each day when I blog. I start out by reviewing ideas and notes from my day. Sometimes I am sparked by something someone said. A conversation with a colleague, family member, or my better half. Other times it is an article I read, a video I watched, or some idea that was shared via social media.

However I came across the idea, I dig a little deeper to find out if my fingers will start to tap away. If they do, I see where the idea goes. I have almost two hundred draft posts in different stages of completion. Often I start a post and find that there is no ending, so I leave it and try another idea. Sometimes I go back to those older posts and find that I have an ending, and the writing comes alive for me again.

Be a scientist. Curious, raw, and alive.

What to wear today?

Do you ever have those days when you cannot decide what to wear? Of course you do, we all have them. Even men have them. Although I have a hunch that women have them much more often. Most likely it is our hormones. I cannot tell you how often in the past I ended up on the floor of the closest in tears (and trust me I rarely cry) because nothing fit, or nothing felt right on my body that day.

My usual instinct is to always be comfortable. Presentable, but comfortable. What makes things more complicated is when I have to do a presentation, whether in front of a larger group of people, or a group of leaders. It makes me think that much more about being comfortable while also presentable. I occasionally miss the years of my life when I worked from home and my only “clothing” mission of the day was that I take a shower before Chris came home from work. I could at times go days before ever leaving the house. I do not have that luxury anymore. Each day is a new day with all of its newness, oldness, and everything in between.

nothing_to_wearWhen I came across this photo on Pinterest, I thought “oh man that is so me.” On those days when I have to give a presentation and all I want to do is be ever so cozy, and yet I cannot be. Instead, I need to be a bit more put together. I need to be more aware of how what I wear does not distract from the ideas I am sharing or the strategy I may be rolling out. In the end, dress, clothes, and what we wear matters. That does not mean that I believe that you have to dress up, but what you put together and how you present yourself matters.

Does it matter for men in the same way? Yes and no. In many ways I have seen it first hand where a guy can wear a t-shirt and jeans and it not matter if he looks less “put together” and yet if a woman wore it in the same situation she would be considered dressed down. Not fair, but at the moment it is the state of things.

Embrace the days where you sit on the floor of your closet. See if you can find something that can express who you are supposed to be today, who you are, and who you want to be.

Making shit happen

I am a planner. I like to think things through. Yes, I can still be a “fly by the seat of my pants” kinda woman, but it happens after I plan a structure into life. I will give you an example. When I travel, I like to research a list of places we might want to go. Restaurants, green juice bars, cupcake bakeries, boutiques, brunch spots, art galleries, local artists, you name it. I explore the depths of it via the Internet, blogs, and even old school books such as Fodor’s at the library. I still cannot give up how easy it is to research and learn about a city from one book, then the time it can take to explore all those different details online. It just is not the same for me.

There have been times in my life when I have been told I am an over planner, that I think things through too much, or that I need to relax and let life happen. Let me tell you, I can do both, but I find that life happens at times because of a plan. There is often so many things I want to see in one city. If I do not research or explore (and depending on the size of the city) I could wander from far east to far west only to realize later that there is a place I want to see at the far east side. Depending on how long that takes, traffic, cost, etc it might mean that I never go back to that other location. Having a list of potential exploration ideas helps to do bundles of a city at once, by neighborhood. It also helps to be able to know what to look out for in a given area.

So when I came across this Eleanor Roosevelt quote last week, it made me ponder my ways.

“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.”

Let me tell you, when you are starving in an unknown city, and your “hangry” vibe kicks in and you find yourself in a neighborhood where the food looks less than a wee bit appetizing, and your smart phone for whatever reason is not picking up 3G, you will be grateful for the research you did at home before you left. You also might find that even with the research you find a multitude of new options and places to explore that you never would have found if you had not known to venture to that neighborhood.

I am not a wisher, I make a plan, and I make shit happen.

Be Ruthless

At times I have been called “ruthless.” I do not want to stop what I am doing, or turn off the road I am on. If I get an idea of something I want to accomplish, I will not give up until I am done, and not just done, but done well. If I get an idea to find something specific for our home, or a gift for someone I will hunt and explore until I find that perfect thing. Maybe the word I should use is “relentless.” As I looked into “ruthless” it gets a bad rap.

“Ruthless: having or showing no pity or compassion for others.”
X

After reading an article from Fast Company titled: “The Many, Many, Many Things You Should Say ‘No’ to at Work” – under the section: “Be Ruthless” the article states this:

“Quite candidly, I’m really ruthless in terms of doing only those things which are absolutely essential. I’m saying no to a lot, both in work and life. I see a lot of working moms who think they have to be 110% at work, and then volunteer to run the school auction. We’ve become so awful at saying no. I try hard to become incredibly selective about those things I engage with, so I can be really present for the stuff that I’m doing, and be really engaged with my kids in a meaningful way. People are trying to accomplish too much, and they’re killing themselves in the process.”

Most of us are trying to do too much. Most of us are asked to do too much. Most of us take on too much. Time for change? Yes. How can we make that happen? Be ruthless. I am very selective about the food I put into my body. I am selective about the people I spend my time with in life. I am selective about making sure I have time to workout. Why not be even more selective about saying no? As you may know this has been a theme in my blogs of recent weeks and months. My hope is to make gradually become relentlessly ruthless about my time and my engagement with others.

Let go of the old. Make room for the new.

Sometimes we are put into situations before we are ready, and sometimes we will never be ready for the situation put before us. I had an aha moment while reading “The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands” by Lysa Terkeurst. A great, thought-provoking book that might lead me to share more in future posts. A quote she shared was such a vivid analogy for me. A quick side note, I am a very visual person, and I often go on side tangents with random analogies. Sometimes they are good, and sometimes they are so off the wall. In any case, this one so perfectly explains her idea.

Terkeurst talks about an early snowfall and seeing what happened to the trees due to the weight of the snow:

“That’s what happens when a snow comes early. The trees weren’t designed to face snow before releasing their leaves. They weren’t made to carry more than they should. And neither are we.” Page 92

Such a great reminder that we have to let go of certain things in our life to make room for new things. Let the old fall away, let the leaves drop to the ground in order to be strong enough for the next phase. If we try to do it all we cannot withstand the strain and the toll, and either we break or a limb breaks, often with irreversible damages. If we hold on too long for fear of what is next, not aware of what is right in front of us, we may jeopardize our future.

Lately I have been resisting change in my life big and small. The small stuff: I am not ready for fall. I do not want the temperature to change (we had to turn on the heat one night this week). I detest looking at my clothes from last winter, and saying goodbye to summer dresses and flip-flops. Yet, there is also pumpkin, yummy fall spices, and looking forward to the beautiful colors of fall. It is a shift, a new way of looking at the world, a new stage.

Ah…pondering life through a tree, leaves, and early snowfall. Are you preparing yourself for the changes happening in your life right now? Watch out for the early snow fall.