Making shit happen

I am a planner. I like to think things through. Yes, I can still be a “fly by the seat of my pants” kinda woman, but it happens after I plan a structure into life. I will give you an example. When I travel, I like to research a list of places we might want to go. Restaurants, green juice bars, cupcake bakeries, boutiques, brunch spots, art galleries, local artists, you name it. I explore the depths of it via the Internet, blogs, and even old school books such as Fodor’s at the library. I still cannot give up how easy it is to research and learn about a city from one book, then the time it can take to explore all those different details online. It just is not the same for me.

There have been times in my life when I have been told I am an over planner, that I think things through too much, or that I need to relax and let life happen. Let me tell you, I can do both, but I find that life happens at times because of a plan. There is often so many things I want to see in one city. If I do not research or explore (and depending on the size of the city) I could wander from far east to far west only to realize later that there is a place I want to see at the far east side. Depending on how long that takes, traffic, cost, etc it might mean that I never go back to that other location. Having a list of potential exploration ideas helps to do bundles of a city at once, by neighborhood. It also helps to be able to know what to look out for in a given area.

So when I came across this Eleanor Roosevelt quote last week, it made me ponder my ways.

“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.”

Let me tell you, when you are starving in an unknown city, and your “hangry” vibe kicks in and you find yourself in a neighborhood where the food looks less than a wee bit appetizing, and your smart phone for whatever reason is not picking up 3G, you will be grateful for the research you did at home before you left. You also might find that even with the research you find a multitude of new options and places to explore that you never would have found if you had not known to venture to that neighborhood.

I am not a wisher, I make a plan, and I make shit happen.

Be Ruthless

At times I have been called “ruthless.” I do not want to stop what I am doing, or turn off the road I am on. If I get an idea of something I want to accomplish, I will not give up until I am done, and not just done, but done well. If I get an idea to find something specific for our home, or a gift for someone I will hunt and explore until I find that perfect thing. Maybe the word I should use is “relentless.” As I looked into “ruthless” it gets a bad rap.

“Ruthless: having or showing no pity or compassion for others.”
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After reading an article from Fast Company titled: “The Many, Many, Many Things You Should Say ‘No’ to at Work” – under the section: “Be Ruthless” the article states this:

“Quite candidly, I’m really ruthless in terms of doing only those things which are absolutely essential. I’m saying no to a lot, both in work and life. I see a lot of working moms who think they have to be 110% at work, and then volunteer to run the school auction. We’ve become so awful at saying no. I try hard to become incredibly selective about those things I engage with, so I can be really present for the stuff that I’m doing, and be really engaged with my kids in a meaningful way. People are trying to accomplish too much, and they’re killing themselves in the process.”

Most of us are trying to do too much. Most of us are asked to do too much. Most of us take on too much. Time for change? Yes. How can we make that happen? Be ruthless. I am very selective about the food I put into my body. I am selective about the people I spend my time with in life. I am selective about making sure I have time to workout. Why not be even more selective about saying no? As you may know this has been a theme in my blogs of recent weeks and months. My hope is to make gradually become relentlessly ruthless about my time and my engagement with others.

Are you a D or a G?

Yesterday at work a few of us lady folks somehow got to talking about bras and breasts. I find it always to be a fascinating conversation (I am sure some men might find it fascinating too, but in different ways). One of the main reasons I find talking about bras, breasts, boobs, breast reductions, breast increases so interesting is that we all come in different shapes and sizes and we all have such different and rich experiences from puberty to adulthood.

AND…I believe that most of us are not wearing the right sized bra. How can we really know with sub par service and support? I have two places in Portland that have real knowledge about bras: Nordstrom and a local bra store that cater to women who are pregnant or breast-feeding, women who have had a mastectomy, or women that have a strange size (28D to 56K) – yes those sizes really do exist. Most department stores like Macy’s do not carry the correct bra size, and even Nordstrom at times has had to order my size.

A C cup size was average when I was growing up, and anything larger meant you had big boobs. I can remember a few years ago watching an episode of Oprah dedicated to bra makeovers. Here is a photo gallery + explanation of some good examples. So often we are wearing a band size that is way to large and we sag way more than necessary. A 34D might better fit as a 32E or F (depending on if the bra is a European bra). Just as this Empowher article says:

“D is small, G is average, N is off the charts, so if you think you are a D, you are probably a G. Most DD’s end up as a G or H cup when fits properly.”

The article also mentions that only 15% of all women are wearing their bra correctly. I am part of that small minority. I would pay good money to have a bra that feels invisible, is comfortable, does not hurt my back, and is not atrociously ugly.  Often the ones that are attractive are also not supportive. More and more there are boutique shops that are popping up and carrying more accurate sizing. There is chain of stores called “Intimacy” that assist with bra fitting, however we do not have one in Portland. It is a good name for a bra store, as it is an intimate experience to have someone measuring + sizing your wobbly top half.

So, do you know if you are wearing a D but really should be sporting a G?

Let go of the old. Make room for the new.

Sometimes we are put into situations before we are ready, and sometimes we will never be ready for the situation put before us. I had an aha moment while reading “The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands” by Lysa Terkeurst. A great, thought-provoking book that might lead me to share more in future posts. A quote she shared was such a vivid analogy for me. A quick side note, I am a very visual person, and I often go on side tangents with random analogies. Sometimes they are good, and sometimes they are so off the wall. In any case, this one so perfectly explains her idea.

Terkeurst talks about an early snowfall and seeing what happened to the trees due to the weight of the snow:

“That’s what happens when a snow comes early. The trees weren’t designed to face snow before releasing their leaves. They weren’t made to carry more than they should. And neither are we.” Page 92

Such a great reminder that we have to let go of certain things in our life to make room for new things. Let the old fall away, let the leaves drop to the ground in order to be strong enough for the next phase. If we try to do it all we cannot withstand the strain and the toll, and either we break or a limb breaks, often with irreversible damages. If we hold on too long for fear of what is next, not aware of what is right in front of us, we may jeopardize our future.

Lately I have been resisting change in my life big and small. The small stuff: I am not ready for fall. I do not want the temperature to change (we had to turn on the heat one night this week). I detest looking at my clothes from last winter, and saying goodbye to summer dresses and flip-flops. Yet, there is also pumpkin, yummy fall spices, and looking forward to the beautiful colors of fall. It is a shift, a new way of looking at the world, a new stage.

Ah…pondering life through a tree, leaves, and early snowfall. Are you preparing yourself for the changes happening in your life right now? Watch out for the early snow fall.

Are we all a bunch of drunk three year olds?

For some reason the thought of bickering three-year olds is making me laugh. This showed up on my Facebook feed. Maybe because it is not too different from squabbling that happens at work, in meetings, or a bunch of folks at a bar – drunk. First watch the video, then we can discuss.

 

It is hilarious to me, because when I am tired, or wiped out I often cut words out of my sentences, and somehow Chris understands what I mean. Such as: “I hungry” or “I not child” (which means do not treat my like a baby). My favorites from this video are: “Say sorry.” “You poked my eye.” “Oow! You poked my heart.” “You are not real. I am real.” Maybe by real he means right? I think the one I want to take with me is, “Say sorry.” I may just have to use that with Chris when I am mad or sad at him: “Say sorry.” It is cute and endearing right?

And… to think that they are only talking about the rain… while one looks like she is picking her nose, the other is whispering to try to get the boy to listen. I wonder if we were all able to see ourselves in meetings, or interactions throughout our day and we saw how we acted, would we laugh just the same?

“You okay?” “You poked my heart.”