…learning to write my story…

Posted by random olio

How did you learn to write? Did you start with a diary that had a little padlock, where you would write all your innermost thoughts and experiences? Did you learn in school or when you started your first job? I remember writing a lot as a kid. I did not have the padlocked diary, but I wrote many short stories. I still have some of them. I do not remember what compelled me to start to write. There are also gaps, where I do not have any writing, no journal entries, and no short stories. Looking back to middle and high school there was too much happening in my life, that writing took a back burner. Later, in college, I began writing more, memoir excerpts, journal writing and taking notes of quotes I appreciated or that resonated with me from authors I read.

Recently I posted about “My Ideal Bookshelf.” I have continued to enjoy exploring the pages of this book. To learn what books have changed or shaped the lives of different authors, writers, chefs, etc. Two ideas stood out to me from different individuals. The first is from Michael Chabon:

“But that was how I learned to write, and it’s the approach I recommend to people who want to write. It’s through imitation that painters learn to paint and composers learn to compose. It is an incredibly useful way to figure out how to write like yourself in the long run. And it’s much easier and more pleasurable to imitate a writer whose work you love.”

And this one from writer, Andrew Sean Greer:

“We don’t write in a void. Our storytelling comes from reading, learning, and trying out techniques we love. As Pound says, we ought to have either the decency to acknowledge a theft outright or the cleverness to hide it. Since I can’t hide anything, I guess it’s clear where I stand on that point.”

Both quotes make me think more and more about why I read so much. As I spend hours and hours of my year reading, I learn more about what I like in authors and what I do not like. I learn the different ways an author sets their scene. I learn who inspires and challenges me as an author. Hopefully I will continue to find my own voice and write my story. Whether that be a memoir, a short story, or a novel, I believe there is a story, or many stories in each of us, just waiting to be told. Some of us tell these stories in the form of a book, others through acting, some through marketing or social media. Whatever the avenue we each have a story to tell, we just have to listen for when it is ready to be shared.

just a few of my journals…

Thank you for being part of my journey to tell my story.

Travel much? Read this book.

Posted by random olio

Some of you may be staying in a hotel right now. You might be on a holiday vacation, or maybe visiting your family. You might also have an upcoming trip to a warmer place so you can get away from the snow or rain for a few days. Or, maybe it is a regular part of your job to travel for work and spend a large amount of your week in a hotel. Have you ever thought about how your experience at a hotel has to do with how often you open your wallet? I just finished reading the book: “Heads in Beds: A Reckless Memoir of Hotels, Hustles, and So-Called Hospitality” by Jacob Tomsky. Definitely a clever name for a book.

It is a raw memoir of the life of a hotel employee. A book that sheds light on the inner workings and guts of a hotel. It also discusses how the way you treat a hotel employee may have a direct effect on how you are treated, but in ways you might not expect. Are their actions due to how the corporate hotel chain requires their employees to treat you? No hotel is the same. Or does the service you receive have more to do with how much you are willing to fork over from your wallet? One of my favorite excerpts from his book is this quick story from when he worked at a New York City hotel:

“Speaking of area codes, one of the most wonderful tools at my disposal is putting a guest into a certain room on the twelfth floor. What is so punishing about this room? Nothing by the look of it: a decent room by all accounts. However, if I put you in room 1212, your phone will not stop ringing with wrong numbers. Why? Well, a surprising number of guests never seem to learn that from every hotel phone you have to dial out. In general, to place any call, one must press 9 prior to dialing, local or otherwise. So all day, and believe me, all night, idiots dispersed through the building will pick up their phones and try to straight dial a local number, starting with 1-212. Whatever they press after that matters not because they have already dialed room 1212, and 1212’s guest will constantly pick up the 3:00 a.m call and hear the loud mashing of other numbers or some drunk guest saying, ‘Hello? Hello? Who is this?’

What time is it? Why are you calling me? Who is this?

I’d like to order the Szechuan chicken please? Excuse me? Is this Happy Family Palace’?” page 197

Wow. That will definitely make me think about how I treat the employees at hotels. There are many more experiences he shares, as well as tips for how to navigate the hotel world, whether for personal or business. In its own way, hotels are a world of their own. Tomsky shares how desk agents, bellhops, doormen, housekeepers, and management work together, how they have a system of their own, and how it works and sometimes does not. The tips he shares are snapshots of what travelers can do to navigate around hotel policies, and alert them to things they should be aware of when dealing with hotel employees.

If you do not read his book, then you will want to be on your best behavior, plan and connect with the hotel ahead of time, and be sure to open your wallet and tip for the best service. If you do not, beware and proceed at your own risk.

The sound of her voice…

Posted by random olio

A few weeks ago, I finished reading “Tiny Beautiful Things” by Cheryl Strayed. She is the author that wrote “Wild” which is about her experience hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. “Tiny Beautiful Things” is a compilation of many “Dear Sugar” advice columns from The Rumpus. At times these columns tore me apart. Like this excerpt from one of her columns:

“It will never be okay, and yet there we were, the two of us more than okay, both of us happier and luckier than anyone has a right to be. You could describe either one of us as ‘joy on wheels,’ though there isn’t one good thing that has happened to either of us that we haven’t experienced through the lens of our grief. I’m not talking about weeping and wailing every day (though sometimes we both did that). I’m talking about what goes on inside, the words unspoken, the shaky quake at the body’s core. There was no mother at our college graduations. There was no mother at our weddings. There was no mother when we sold our first books. There was no mother when our children were born. There was no mother, ever, at any turn for either one of us in our entire adult lives and there never will be.” Page 98

One of the few photos I have of just my parents…

Tears in my eyes. Reminders of the many events and milestones in my own life that I experienced motherless and fatherless. No parents at my college graduation. Or my wedding. I have yet to sell a book, or have a child, but if I ever do, my mom and dad will not be present. Yes, you can tell me they are there in spirit. That will be true, but it does not replace the feeling and the wonder of what it would be like to see their face, to have them hold me, or to tell me they are proud of me. Nothing can replace that. You might also say to me, but how do you know if you would still be close to them? How do you know if your relationship would exist in a way that you would want them there? I would tell you I cannot answer that. I do not know. So instead I have the anticipation of what it would be like. It is like having a dream that you have over and over again, but you always wake up at the same time. So you never really know what happens. You never get to that place in the dream.

Strayed lost her mother at a young age, and after losing her mother, her stepfather (who basically raised her) stopped all contact with her. In a different column Strayed shared a poignant reminder for me:

“I haven’t had parents as an adult. I’ve lived so long without them and yet I carry them with me everyday. They are like two empty bowls I’ve had to repeatedly fill on my own.” Page 307

This is how I have often felt. My mom has been gone for more years than I ever spent with her. It has been 18 years. She died when I was 16. While she will always be a part of my life, there are days when I struggle to remember what she looked and smelled like. The hardest part is that I can barely remember the sound of her voice.

The best medicine: Books

Posted by random olio

For those of you that might have followed my blog over the past year, I am very passionate about books, libraries, and making sure kids have access to books. Books have changed my life. So when I read the below email from a local library foundation :

“Rx for a better life

Read early, read often.

For many of us, reading is a lot like breathing. It’s a critical life function that we do without even thinking. In the course of any given day, we ingest a vast quantity of written word – words that direct and instruct us, keep us safe, inspire, educate and entertain us. Opportunity hinges on our ability to read. Without it, we cannot explore the depth of our potential. The ease with which we read, and read well, is reflected in our quality of life.”

Wow. Well said. I believe reading was my therapy throughout childhood. When I was immersed in a book, the chaos and tough moments in my day went away. During the time I was reading, the rest of the world did not exist, only the world I was reading about mattered.

Tonight I am going to do research about Christmas book drives in my area. While it might not be top on a child’s list these days to receive a book for Christmas, if they do not have many, it is an important and precious gift that should be given.

Want to join me in donating the gift of reading this holiday season? Feel free to post in the comments section of any organizations worldwide that are accepting books so that other individuals can learn from what you know!

Games, Linchpin, and no more Candyland

Posted by random olio

I just finished reading “Linchpin” by Seth Godin. There are so many amazing nuggets in this book. I could write a very long blog about all the ideas I gained from this book, but one in particular really has me thinking. I love playing board games. Growing up it was one of the few things I remember we did as a family. We did not go on vacations, to sporting events, movies, etc. So playing board games is what I remember as “family time.” Games were also how I became competitive. As the youngest, I often felt left out. As the baby of the family, I thought that if I learned each and every game, and could even win ones that maybe other members in my family would make sure I was included and got to play. I did not want them to have to hold my hand and help me along. I wanted to play and win on my own merits and skills.

I have never thought anything of the actual games we played or what they were teaching me. When I was younger we played Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, Memory, and eventually moved on to Monopoly, Tripoly, Poker, Parcheesi, Trivial Pursuit, and Yahtzee. I have not played any of these in years. Most recently I have played Cranium, Tripoly, and my favorite is Taboo. I enjoyed the competition, the family time, and the laughter and fun. So when I read this section in “Linchpin” it made me rethink all the games of my past, and quite frankly how I would want to approach games with my family in the future.

“Author Steven Johnson hates the board game Candyland and all board games like it. I hate them even more than he does.

‘I realize that games of pure chance have a long history, but that doesn’t make them any less moronic,’ he writes. He’s how Candyland is played: You pick a card and do what it says. Repeat.

This is early training in agenda following. Indoctrination in obedience. We teach kids that the best way to win is to mindlessly pick cards, follow instructions, and wait for it all to turn out okay.

Sheesh. What a disaster.

My decree: If you own a copy, burn it. Replace it with Cosmic Encounters or chess or a big box filled with wooden blocks. Please don’t look at school or even board games the same way again. If they’re teaching your kids or future employees to be map readers and agenda followers, make them stop.” Page 193

To give you more context, this section in Godin’s book discusses not being a cog that just takes orders and follows direction, but to become someone who creates their own map and paves their own way. I wonder what games help kids to create their own map. I am still processing and thinking about what those games could be. Any ideas?