Oh how I hate hold music.

How often do you call your cable company, or your credit card company and either have to listen to a zillion annoying little prompts to get to where you want to go, or you wait on the line for what feels like eternity only to listen to their hold music?

I can adamantly say that I have never once said to anyone: “Oh, xxxx company has the most amazing hold music.” Why is that? Why is waiting on hold to be helped so excruciatingly painful? Do they hope that most of us will hang up the phone out of boredom, anguish, and insanity and instead go online and send them an email? I try to do that as much as possible, but there are just certain things that need to be handled by a live person. I will give you a few examples:

_When your cable company (ahem, Comcast) continues to screw up your bill every month since you moved in 10 months ago. No email will ever be able to truly shed light on your true frustration, only duking it out with a live person will hopefully grant you the discounts and offers you deserve.

_Anything having to do with financial information, credit cards, and bank accounts should be handled online. Yes I am old school. I prefer a live person to mess up my account, then a live person behind an email. At least I can ask for my phone call to be escalated, and hopefully my phone call was “recorded for quality purposes.”

_You enjoy connecting with other people, making their day, and generally being the world’s nicest customer. I know a few people who fit that description, and they are the cream of the crop. If only we could have their patience.

I digress. This all started out being about hold music. I still do not understand why they have not invented hold music that connects you to Pandora or Spotify and lets you jam to your current selection. Maybe customer service representatives will find their customers happier, more patient, and generally not going insane by hearing the same song for the 37 minutes they waited on hold. Of course that song was interspersed with a few ads for lower interest rates, or how you could be saved money, with the additional message of how many other customers are in front of you in the queue.

#needmorepatience4holdmusic

Look people in the eye

I have a thing about looking other people in the eye. When you meet someone for the first time, you shake their hand, and you look them in the eye. It is just what should be done. No one taught me that, no one told me that is what should be. I was taught more about the strong hand shake rather than about someone’s eyes. Yet, it is what connects me with another and it is what can irk me about someone.

When I meet a new person and their eyes wander or if they can never make direct eye contact with me for those few moments, I become uneasy. I wonder why they do not want to look at me. I think of those moments as a time when you can learn so much about another person. It is not like you are truly looking into their soul, but to me you can tell so much in those few moments. Are they comfortable around me? Do they have something to hide? Are they being honest with their self? Do they have something to hide from me specifically?

I remember a few strange eye contact interactions when I met one specific woman. The place and details do not matter. What matters is that going into the introductions I already did not trust her. The details I had heard about her made me think that I should be aware of what I said and how I shared certain things from my life. Then her eyes told me that I should trust my intuition. She could not make eye contact with me. What that tells me is be careful, this person might not be trustworthy. Walk carefully, and watch what you say. Sometimes people are just so in their own worlds that they do not have any idea how they bring themselves into a conversation and so you have to take everything with a grain of salt, but watch another’s body language. Watch how they shake your hand, how they look at you, or how they do not look at you. It can tell you a lot about a person.

What do you think?

Is there always a silver lining?

Does everything have a silver lining? If you are a glass half full kind of person you might think that there is a silver lining in everything. Maybe it is all in how you approach a situation. You could have a frustrating experience with a friend or family member and choose to look at it for all the things that might be negative or wrong, or you can choose to look at it as an opportunity.

While we cannot change another person, and often we cannot change a situation, we can change how we look at the situation. Is it a moment to stand up for what you believe in? Is it now the time to say what you are really thinking? Or is it a time to stay quiet and let the other individual(s) work it out on their own? Maybe you are the type of person to always fix things for others, and maybe you have to take a break from that and let someone learn in their own way.

I think we can be in strange situations many times in our lives. Maybe we are stuck in a job we hate, or have struggled to tell a friend that we no longer want them in our life. Whatever the situation, the silver lining is often what we learn, and what we do not know. For example, you could hate your job, and struggle to understand why you keep interviewing but continue to not get the job. If that is your situation and you are reading this right now, you might say, “Tami you are crazy, there is no silver lining.” The silver lining is what you learn: more patience, persistence, perseverance, and maybe even the people skills to put yourself out there, to dig deep and fight for where you want to be. Not everything we do in life is easy.

Is it time to find the silver lining?

“What My Mother Gave Me”

I wonder what my mom would think of me today. If we could have a conversation, what would she tell me? Would she say she was grateful that I have been given many opportunities, maybe many more than she ever had? I just finished reading “What My Mother Gave Me: Thirty-one Women on the Gifts That Mattered Most” Edited by Elizabeth Benedict. It has many short vignettes from different women who are authors and journalists, who share the gift their mother gave them. Some of their mothers are still alive and others have lost their moms. I related to some, and did not have the experience of others. Ann Hood was one author that made me think and ponder about my own mom:

“A mother’s love is like that. I know this now that I’m a mother. We give our children the best of ourselves so that they can find the best of what is in them. The day I rejected the gift of the white suit, I got the best gift of all. My mother let me know that I had finally become that person I’d dreamed of becoming: a girl who spoke her mind, who was independent and opinionated. A girl who knew who she was and what she wanted. A girl who would not wear an all-white pants suit. And by recognizing that, she gave me permission to go into my own mismatched future. What a gift.” Page 59

While my mother never had the opportunity to see and spend time with me once I found my voice, I hope that when I was a kid I was as feisty as I am now. My sister I suppose could attest to that. Or maybe that came later in life. I do know that I now speak my mind, am definitely opinionated, know who I am, and usually know what I want. So after finishing “What My Mother Gave Me” I wanted to figure out what I would say about what my mother gave me.

It is a tough one for me. I really have no material possessions from my mom. The only things that allow me to remember her are what are left of our family photos. She must have been off cleaning and taking care of us, or she was the one taking the photos, because she is in very few of the photos. The gift my mom gave me was taking care of people. I watched her do it. Whether it was the children in her at-home day care, or older women at church, my grandma, us kids, her classroom at school, neighborhood children, she was always taking care of someone. Chris often reminds me that I need to take care of me first before extending myself so much. After reading this book, I realized that was the gift my mom gave me.

What about you? Do you know the gift your mother gave you?

Addicted to Electricity

Yesterday I am running on the treadmill while Chris is riding the bike. I am 5.5 miles into my run and I start to shoot off the back. I realize that the lights in the garage go dark, and the tread is instantly slowing to a stop. The power went out. I go inside to see if it is just the garage or the rest of the house. It is the entire house. Chris starts to investigate if it is just our house or if others are affected. He called Portland General Electric. 60 customers had already called, and 240 were effected. In the five minutes it took to call the Electric company, 59 other individuals had already called. Amazing how fast we respond when something is taken from us.

I am dripping with sweat. I want to keep running, so I grab my phone and head outside to finish my run, hoping that when I come back it will be back on and we can proceed with our day. I come home and the house smells amazing with black beans, sausage, and eggs. I am curious how Chris made food, without the electricity. He said he lit the gas stove with a lighter, and presto, a yummy breakfast. I am still sopping wet with sweat, and want to take a shower, but do not want to use all the hot water. I begin to contemplate over breakfast what we can do today without electricity.

I tell Chris: “We could research the items on the list and just chill on the couch.” He says: “No electricity, no wi-fi.” Ugh. Bummer. I continue to mention different ideas. We could run errands, and go to the grocery, but we do not want to bring home cold items if the electricity does not come back on. We would also have to figure out how to manually open the garage door. So frustrating. Yet, it makes my mind wander.

We take so many creature comforts for granted. Electricity to power a zillion things: our computers, wi-fi, televisions, charge our phones, our refrigerators and stoves, hair dryers, air conditioning (a dream for our home), the list goes on. So I can definitely say to you today that I am addicted to electricity, and I need to appreciate it more. In the era of instant everything, we forget all that goes into getting it to our front door. It was an eye-opening reminder for me to not take it for granted.

So…I am going to show gratitude for electricity today. #thankyouelectricity