Giggles In Heaven

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On Monday I wrote about the book: “It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita” by Heather Armstrong in this blog post. The blog I wrote was more on the funny and painful aspects to motherhood. Today I wanted to share the awww moments of motherhood. The parts that make you cling to your spouse with gratitude for this little life you brought into the world.

“The best part of my day was when Jon carried Leta back to the changing table after her bath, and she’d lay there wrapped in the towel, her hand shoved as far as she could get it into the back of her mouth. He’d lean down and pretend to eat her neck, causing her to laugh. And she laughed for him like she laughed for no one else, a full-body laugh that shook her belly and caused her to let go of her hand for a second. Her giggles would fill the house and echo through the baby monitor into the living room and out to the street. I imagined that those echoing giggles were what the background music in heaven sounded like.” Page 159

Aww. Giggles in heaven. I love the laughter and absolute uncontrollable giggle of a baby or toddler. You can continue to repeat what you are doing over and over again to have that same gut laughter continue. It. Is. The. Best. Thing. Ever. And then Heather talks about the love for her spouse, Jon:

“In him I’d found the person whom I knew I would never get tired of, even in the most monotonous of times, even in the routine of being together every single day. I never thought I would find that.” Page 237

This is how I feel about Chris. Even if he is on the iPad dreaming about our future, and I am pounding out my next blog post on my laptop, while watching Michael Phelps swim the last Olympic event of his career, we are hanging out together. We look up and smile at each other and go back to our respective activities, my legs sprawled out on top of him. Aww the life. Can you tell how addicted I am to my husband? We live our life with giggles and laughter and maybe one day we will share those gut deep giggles with a little one. (Can you tell I am thinking very seriously about it!)

Again, I say, read Heather’s book. It is worth it. Okay I am done touting her book. You will not hear another peep about it.

Do You Stare?

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Are you a gawker? I am the kind of person that assesses the room when she enters. Not so much to see where I feel comfortable, more because I am always reading people. I find people fascinating.

I may be found staring because I am watching how others listen to each other. Does everyone feel included? Are others bored? Is everyone intrigued? Is the energy of the room happy, dull, depressed, angry, lively? Does one individual have a way with words? Is someone a good story-teller? Does someone else have a wealth of knowledge and experience and others gravitate towards them because they have so much they can learn? Does another bring down the energy of the room because of their negative comments and attitude? All of these questions intrigue me and swirl through my thought in different group interactions.

I may also be watching the room because I am exploring the clothes, shoes, hair, etc. Not in any judging way, but because I find style, color, and clothes interesting. Whether for the combination of how others put an outfit together, to interesting jewelry, or shoes. I love the comfort of a pair of jeans, to the odd and extravagant shoe. You will never get me in a pair of high heels, but you can find me in a pair of flip flops any day or a pair of running shoes. I like to be mostly flat and grounded in this world.

I was reading a book on friendship the other day and the author called herself a ‘gawker.’  Am I a gawker, or do I just take an interest in people? I think I will go with the latter.

In Austin, staring down to the street, where there were cops galore

Cheeseburgers and Staples

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I just finished reading: “It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita” by Heather Armstrong. I could not stop saying: “Chris, Chris, I have to read this to you.” I might have to write about this book a few times because of just how blunt and hilarious Heather writes. Sometimes it is that potty humor that makes her funny, and sometimes it is in that I-relate-that-would-be-me kind of way.

In her book she takes you from trying to conceive, to her pregnancy, to the first 9 months of her baby girl’s life. She talks about her struggles with staying sane (literally) and what moms go through to not lose it. Maybe I can relate more right now because I am thinking so much about motherhood, but if you are a mother, or are thinking about taking that step, or just want a good laugh, then read on.

“An then, in what was one of the most memorable moments of the pregnancy, the ultrasound technician pointed to an unrecognizable shadow on the monitor and said, “See that cheeseburger? That means it’s a girl.” And then he circled her cheeseburger for emphasis. Jon had been holding my hand to give me strength to hold my pee, but right then he let go and cupped his tear-stained face, “You have a very important job,” he said, looking at me with the eyes I had fallen in love with. “You’re going to have to teach our daughter about her cheeseburger.” Page 39

I love this. It just made me smile. The next excerpt I want to share has to do with breast-feeding and what it feels like for a woman to breast feed. Men, yes please keep reading. I think it is worth it for you to know her explanation. Not that you do not respect women for what they have to go through to breast feed a child, but her description I think will take your respect to a new level.

“The only way to describe it to a man is to suggest that he lay out his naked penis on a chopping block, place a manual stapler on the sacred helmet head, and bang it a couple hundred staples. The first two staples might hurt a little, but after that it just becomes numb, right? And by the eighty-eighth staple you’re like, AREN’T YOU FULL YET? But then the comparison really fails because a man doesn’t have two penises, and after stapling the first boob the baby moves again on to the other boob and the happy stapling begins ALL OVER AGAIN.” Page 83

I have more to share, but I think I will save it for another post. The other ideas are more for the soft side of parenting, but I thought I would first start with cheeseburgers and staples. Go. Read. Her. Book.

Honesty and Integrity = Respect and Credibility

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It’s Friday! It’s Friday!

Last summer I went to the IABC Conference that took place in San Diego, California. For those of you that might not know what the IABC Conference stands for – it is the International Association of Business Communicators. The keynote address was by Jonah Leher. I had recently read one of his books and enjoyed it, while also being very intrigued by his keynote address.

A few months Jonah released his next book: Imagine and I checked it out from the library. Once I received it and tried to start reading it, I was turned off. For the most part, the pages I read served to debunk the idea that brainstorming and creativity are effective ways to come up with new ideas. So I stopped reading and decided his new book was not one I was going to finish. Then tonight I came across this NPR article about the Bob Dylan quotes Jonah made up. What has come of our world? With all the information on the Internet, why would you ever even think about lying or fibbing about quotes, data, experience, etc? It does not make any sense to me!

It also opens up a lot of questions for me. What makes authors knowingly lie or make up content? Have folks not remembered the James Frey drama? Why is honesty and integrity such a hard thing to follow through on? How can we continue to trust authors and writers if we constantly have to wonder if they are telling the truth or not? It is interesting to me that the content of his book made me return it to the library and move on with my life. And…now they are pulling his book for inaccuracies.

Reminder to all writers: TELL THE TRUTH. Otherwise, you lose all respect and credibility.

More Bang For Your Buck

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Recently I posted about: All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending, by Laura Vanderkam. One of the things she mentions is that the average cost of an engagement ring today is: $5,392. Wow. That could be a used car for some folks. Add the engagement ring to the cost of the wedding itself (flowers, dress, reception, food, venue, etc). It adds up quickly. My question is – is it all necessary? Chris and I got married on a beach in Hawaii for basically the cost of a honeymoon. Even doing that, it was expensive, but it was nothing like what the cost could have been if we had a traditional wedding + a honeymoon. I appreciate what Laura says in her book:

“With the same $5,392 the average couple spends on an engagement ring, a set of new parents could pay a babysitter $50 a night for 107 nights so they could have time to themselves or go neck in their car like teenagers. The $12,124 The Knot reports the average couple spends on a reception venue could cover a $100 housecleaning service, twice a month, for the entire five years many two-kid couples spend in that sticky stage when children spill milk just to see what will happen. The average $1,988 florist and decor bill could be doled out, instead, as 198 thinking-of-you $10 bouquets–a once-a-month gesture of love for a solid 16.5 years.” page 22

Laura also talks about what would bring more joy to your marriage. Does the American Dream and picket fence really make you satisfied? Or are you more interested in traveling and learning about other cultures? If so, are you paying more for a car or home then you really need? Are you doing it because it makes you happy, or is it because it is what you think you should be doing? What is more responsible? What causes you less stress? I often think of things pertaining to money in terms of justification. If I do not buy this now, I will have enough money for something else later. Much like what Laura mentions about $1,988 in flowers could give you 198 $10 thinking of you bouquets a month for 16.5 months. What has more bang for your buck?

We have so many different ideas and options  before us. Are we asking the questions of what is best for us and our families, or are we making choices just to keep up with the Jones’? Do we really need the big elaborate wedding, or engagement ring, or are we best prepared if we put that money towards our future? Or towards our emergency funds?

What do you think?