Books find you.

Posted by random olio

I am in the middle of finishing my 125th book of 2012. This year I wanted to crush my amount from last year (also 125 books) but moving homes took quite a bit of my extra time these past few months, so I will have to be okay with meeting last year’s amount. 125 is not too shabby. Right?

One of the last books I read in 2012 is called “My Ideal Bookshelf.” It is not a novel or a memoir, but a book that shares the top books of many 100 well-known individuals: authors, chefs, fashion designers, etc. It shares a page excerpt from each person, and then their list of books. The website for this book states the individuals: “…reveal the books that matter to them most—books that reflect their obsessions and ambitions and in many cases helped them find their way in the world.” Since I am such a book addict I wanted to read this book before the end of the year so that I could hopefully feel inspired and add many new (or old) options to my list for 2013. Even though many of the excerpts talk you through different books that matter to them, they also share ideas that can uplift and resonate about their own life experiences. I was inspired by this quote from Rosanne Cash:

“I think books find their way to you when you need them. Whenever I feel like I’m not going to live to read all the books I want to read, I remind myself that the important ones find their way to me.”

What a cool idea. Often we think the right people come into our life when we need them most, but many times we do not have these people there when we need them. I like the idea of knowing that the important books find their way to us when we need them, especially if the people in our lives are not there for us when we might need them. I know there have been times when I have checked a book out from the library and brought it home, and because of all the other books I had checked out I had to return it before I had a chance to read it. Yet, many weeks and sometimes months later when I had the book back in my hands and I open and read it, the words were just what I needed to hear, think about, and ponder. In those times I have often thought about how that particular book found its way to me just when I needed it most.

I hope that the books you need find you in 2013.

The best medicine: Books

Posted by random olio

For those of you that might have followed my blog over the past year, I am very passionate about books, libraries, and making sure kids have access to books. Books have changed my life. So when I read the below email from a local library foundation :

“Rx for a better life

Read early, read often.

For many of us, reading is a lot like breathing. It’s a critical life function that we do without even thinking. In the course of any given day, we ingest a vast quantity of written word – words that direct and instruct us, keep us safe, inspire, educate and entertain us. Opportunity hinges on our ability to read. Without it, we cannot explore the depth of our potential. The ease with which we read, and read well, is reflected in our quality of life.”

Wow. Well said. I believe reading was my therapy throughout childhood. When I was immersed in a book, the chaos and tough moments in my day went away. During the time I was reading, the rest of the world did not exist, only the world I was reading about mattered.

Tonight I am going to do research about Christmas book drives in my area. While it might not be top on a child’s list these days to receive a book for Christmas, if they do not have many, it is an important and precious gift that should be given.

Want to join me in donating the gift of reading this holiday season? Feel free to post in the comments section of any organizations worldwide that are accepting books so that other individuals can learn from what you know!

Response to yesterday’s blog

Posted by random olio

Yesterday I wrote about a book I had a recently read and shared a quote. I received the following comment from Renee at unpackedwriter:

“Great post! Very well written, yet author has not answered the question of the post…Have you gone there? How have you opened that door and revealed or re-revealed yourself as you really are? Hard to make these generalizations, as wonderfully expressed as they are without examples.

And what happens if we change the script of who we are midlife, or begin a slow but unrevealed realization that we’ve been concealing something. Speaking as a woman, I’ve hidden certain types of rarely used “toys” from my husband because they haven’t fit the understood script of who we are together. How does the book address such? Are there examples you are comfortable sharing from your own life?”

I thought today that I would respond to this comment directly in my blog. Thank you for your feedback, Renee. I have definitely gone there. I hide nothing from my husband. We have a completely transparent marriage. If you talked to my friends you would find that I do not go to them with my relationship issues. If there is something that needs to be discussed about my marriage, it is with Chris himself. My marriage is with Chris and not with others in my life, therefore, he should be the one that knows my thoughts, concerns, and feelings. There is not a day that goes by that he does not know what I am thinking and feeling.

If we have had a disagreement, or not communicated well and I am upset, I cannot fall asleep at night. I might go to bed, and try, but I cannot go to sleep. I may have laid there for hours, and if I do and he has fallen asleep, I have to be the brat and wake him up and talk it all out. This rarely happens, because most of the time we over communicate.

Regarding your question about if the book addresses this – the answer is no. Since Shapiro’s book is a compilation of interviews with married or divorced individuals, there were short snippets of ideas and quotes from individuals. The quote I shared was from one individual’s experience. It made me think of individuals in my life that are in relationships, hiding who they really are because they are afraid of losing the person they are dating. I so want them and others in my life to be who they are, and not hide because of the thought of losing someone in their life.

I hope that sheds more light and background on my own personal experience and thoughts. As well as a bit about why it was important to me. Thank you again for taking the time to share your comment and feedback!

What Are Your Love Languages?

Posted by random olio

Have you read the book: The Five Love Languages? by Gary Chapman. It is a slow book, but the ideas in it are ones that apply to romantic and platonic relationships. I read it a few years ago, but constantly refer to it in conversations. It has continued to be a great way to dive into relationships and how others relate to each other, whether in a good relationship, a new relationship, or one that is struggling.

The background on his book is that we each have a language with how we feel most loved. Take for example your significant other (if you have one, if not then replace with your good friend, or a family member). Think about what you feel they need to feel most loved. I will list below the five love languages. I will say this again: The key is to think about what THEY most need that makes them feel loved. Try to come up with the top two out of the five. Once you have figured out what their top two are, think about what your top two are – what makes you feel the most loved?

The five love languages are:

Gift Giving
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Acts of Service

You can find more details and definitions of each of the love languages at the above link. My top two languages of love are: Quality Time and Acts of Service. This means when Chris knows I have had a rough day and it is not over yet, that if he takes care of some chore he knows I will try to do even if I am operating on 10% energy, it will make me feel loved. He knows that my language (Acts of Service) means he is thinking about me and what I need without even asking me.

I also really appreciate quality time with each other. These days with all that we have on our plates, quality time is such an important language of love. It says I care and love you enough to put down my phone, turn off the TV, shut my computer and focus on you. You may or may not have the same love language as your significant other. What is important for me is that I know what his love languages are and that I focus on how to show him love through his love languages.

a photo from a friend.

What are your love languages? Have you shared your love languages with others? It is an important conversation for others to know how to best love you!

Go Away I’m Reading

Posted by random olio

Such a clever title for a book: “Leave Me Alone I’m Reading” by Maureen Corrigan. I was intrigued by the title, but found that the book itself was not as interesting to me. The author went between her own life and then experiences of characters from other books. I was more engaged when I read the parts about her life, her father and mother, and of course reading.

In my own life, reading has been a way to go into the world of others. Which is why I loved these quotes from her book:

“In our daily lives, where we’re bombarded by the fake and the trivial, reading serves as a way to stop, shut out the noise of the world, and try to grab hold of something real, no matter how small.” page xvii

Later on the same page she says:

“Reading offered companionship as well as escape.” page xvii

and:

“…but constant reading kept pulling me away from the world of my childhood, the world of my parents.” page xxviii

Lastly:

“Words can summon up a skyline from the dark; they can bring back the people you loved and will always yearn for. They can inspire you with possibilities you otherwise would have never imagined; they can fill your head with misleading fantasies. They can give you back your seemingly seamless past and place it right alongside your chaotic present. page 184

I can relate to all these quotes. There have been times when a good book has offered companionship while my husband was away on business travel, or when traveling on an airplane myself. At other times the story in a book has reminded me of my parents and grandparents and the experiences I had with them. Other books take me into the life of someone else and then jettison me back to my own childhood where I uncover experiences I did not ever remember. I then begin to piece together a memory that had never before surfaced. There are many ways to engage in a book, and countless ways to experience the story and memories – past, present, and future.

How do you experience books in your life?

Oh, shh. I am off to finish my book. Okay, I wish. I have to go to work instead.