daring greatly

My Favorite Books of 2012

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Last year I mentioned in this post my favorite books of 2011. It is time to look back to my favorite books of 2012. They are in no specific order (well except for Daring Greatly). That is still my favorite book of 2012, and I encourage everyone to read it. The links with the books below do not take you to Amazon to explore the book, but rather are my past blog posts sharing more about how I connected with the specific book:

Each of these books touched my heart in some way. Whether by the story line, the ideas shared, the humanity I felt, the writing, or that I felt like a different person after reading each of them. They brought me to a different place, made me grateful for all that I have in my life, and made me want more out of life. I love that you can learn more about yourself just by popping the spine of a book. A simple pleasure in such a complicated, technically charged, and intertwined world.

What are your favorite books of 2012?

Do we have to be perfect?

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I have always thought of myself as “Type-A” or a perfectionist. Some words I have used to describe myself have been: anal, particular, and needing to have things a certain way. To a point, these words do describe me. However, I am not neurotic about it. I just want things to go well. I want to do my best. I want things to look good, and happen as planned. Is that so bad?

So when I read the section on perfection in “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brene Brown (the book which I blogged about last week). I was in awe. I was wowed. It shifted me to have an ah-ha moment and look at myself differently. All of these years I have thought of myself as a perfectionist, and yet all I have ever really wanted is to have excellence shine through. Anything my name was attached to, well I wanted it to be good. Wikipedia states that perfectionism is: “striving for flawlessness and setting excessively high performance standards, accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.” After reading that description and Brown’s book, I realize I am not that into being perfect. Which is why I love this specific line from Brown’s book:

“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving for excellence.” Page 128

I feel as though a boulder has been thrown off. It makes me not feel so nit picky about myself. If I try hard, do my best, and the outcome is good, then that is my own excellence. I have never wanted it to be flawless, as that is too picky to me. Besides, we learn more from making mistakes. Perfection is not everything.

How have I lived this long and just now learned this about myself? What a revelation! Does Brown’s quote resonate with you?

On Vulnerability and “Daring Greatly”

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I have found my favorite book of 2012. It is called: “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” by Brene Brown. I cannot stop thinking about the ideas in this book. It is a must read book. It was just published in September, so it is hot off the shelf.

Brown talks a lot in her book about feeling loved, vulnerability, connection, combating shame, and perfectionism. Each are important ideas with a lot of depth for discussion. I first got pulled into her book with her analysis about vulnerability. Here is one quote on the topic:

“Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. To feel is to be vulnerable. To believe vulnerability is weakness is to believe that feeling is weakness. To foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing gives purpose and meaning to living.” Page 33

Vulnerability seems to be a term we do not hear as much about, so I was happily surprised when I heard about Brown’s book. Based on her above idea, why would we not want to be fully vulnerable? I guess first you have to want to feel. If you do not want to feel, then keep your vulnerability at bay. Most of the time I think we just do not want to get hurt, so we keep our thoughts and feelings inside. Other times I think we might be slightly ashamed or insecure about what others might think about our ideas.

What if we had no sensors at all, and always said exactly what is on our mind? That is how I am with many situations. I wear my heart on my sleeve and 95% of the time say exactly what is on my mind without censoring myself. Does that get me in trouble? Yes. Do I like being completely transparent? Yes. Does it feel liberating? Yes. What would the world look like if we all actually said what is on our minds at all times?

I will most likely have to publish another post on this book, as there are just too many nuggets I want to share.

What do you think about vulnerability? What is your favorite book of 2012?