fuel

Doing too much

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I have had one of those weeks where I feel I am doing too much. I feel like an airplane that lands at the airport, goes to the gate, yet has trouble making contact with the actual gate opening (you have probably been in a plane that goes back and forth to make sure it is at the right opening of the gate), then gets ready to take off for the next trip without proper rest, full refueling, emptying the lavatory, and replenishing the snacks. Do you get the picture in your head of my life? Often I find that my life is all about being air traffic control.

I am sure a lot of individuals feel that way when they go between managing their personal and professional lives. There are a few things that make it hard for me to function. No run, too much sugar, and not enough good “fuel” food. You know veggies, thick, luscious, leafy greens. Too me without filling my body with “premium gas” I sputter, am slower, and cannot complete what I need to do in the way that I want. Just like a car or airplane that has a less smooth ride. We cannot skimp on what makes us function.

I have had quite a few conversations recently that have revolved around “doing too much.” Each conversation mentioned the effects on health, happiness, and emotions. As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I sometimes feel like I am the hamster in the wheel, spinning and spinning wondering when this tilt-a-whirl of life will ever slow down. I know I am the only one that can truly jump out, jump off, and create the change in my world, but it is so much easier said then done. If I walk away at the end of the day, and there is so much left to do, it is hard for my brain to stop working and not think about it all.

So I wonder. How do you do it? How does your friend, your sister, or your husband compartmentalize their world to move between the very grey and blurred lines of work and home life? When you always feel like the water is deep and there are so many things happening around you, how do you keep up, when you are just tired of treading water? My gut says it is time for a massive mind shift, a new way of working, a new way of approaching the world. Better boundaries. Clearer parameters. And…maybe a little bit of “No.”

I would love to know how you manage it all.

Fiber filled gratitude

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“Gratitude is like fiber.” I love this line. It fills me up. Ha. No pun intended. It is a great visual reminder on days when things might feel murky. I have not had one of those days lately, but I know when they hit. You often wonder, “why me?” How did I get into this slump, or why do I have to go through this situation? No matter what lies before you, “Gratitude is like fiber” is the reminder you need. Right? If you are feeling off, or grumpy, or frustrated, look within and think about how much you are filled with gratitude, and if you are lacking in the fiber department, start bulking up. Add the lentils, black beans, brown rice of gratitude into your thoughts.

You can call me a Pollyanna all you want, but I think Kristin Armstrong has it right. Yes, I am still talking about her and her book: Mile Markers. This is my third blog post on this book, and there may be more. This is definitely my favorite book of 2014. Here is the full quote:

“I realized the power I had over my own thoughts. I could have a good or bad day simply by being more conscientious about choosing my mood. Gratitude is like fiber. Fill up on that and it takes up so much room that other things (like negative thinking, resentment, or pity) are crowded out. We are satiated. By focusing on what is, we forget to think about what is not. Even by being thankful for not having things that we don’t want, we are replete.” page 273

Just as we need to be more conscientious about selecting the food that fuels us (think fruits and vegetables, and not sugar and white flour) we can be just as selective about the thoughts we bring into our mind and how those thoughts impact our mood. I guarantee you that we all have more in our life than we can ever imagine, and if we just take time to think about all that good, we have less crevices in our thoughts to think about the bad.

I am sure I have mentioned this before in a blog, but I remember at probably one of the lowest times in my life as a kid: my dad was out of the picture, my mom in ICU, my sister and I living on our own, my sister sent me a Turkey Gram at school. Turkey Grams around Thanksgiving were purchased and brought to your classroom (almost like getting flowers or candy) and it felt special to be singled out with one. My Turkey Gram said: “It cannot get worse, it can only get better than we can ever imagine.” Whether my sister knew it or not, that was the fiber I needed to fill me and not give space to the life we were living.

How can you be your own fiber to fill you up with good, and what can you do to be the fiber in someone’s day?

Never stop running…

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Yesterday I was running on the treadmill after work. It was a tough run. I was exhausted after my weekend, and I just wanted to crawl into bed. Yet, because I felt like I should keep at it and stay focused on what is important to me, I changed into my running clothes and got onto the treadmill. Why you might ask? Why do I push myself so hard, when maybe I should have changed into pajamas and snuggled onto the couch?

My answer would be dedication. If I gave in, than tomorrow it would be that much easier to give in, and the next day and the day after that. Yes, I definitely take days off from running, but they are few. Usually my off days are when my brain can barely utter a word, or I feel like complete ass, and can barely stay awake, otherwise my butt is dressed and ready to run, and usually…usually I am better for it. The run gets me out of myself, out of my day, what I still have left to do, and allows me to breathe in and out, and let it all go.

Running is my therapy. Some of you might already know, but I usually run on the treadmill and read books while I run. I read and enter the world of another individual’s life through a memoir, or the world of make-believe through a novel. It means 50 minutes to an hour a day that is not about what happened that day, or what is left on my to-do list, it is just about my feet going, the sweat dripping, and the characters that are spelled out before my eyes.

Yesterday though was tough. I was struggling to continue, I wanted to run upstairs and jump into a steaming hot bath, relax, and close my eyes. The thoughts that kept coming to me were: “This is hard.” “You have had a long day and weekend, just quit.” And then I realized, these are just thoughts. You are not a quitter. You are dedicated. You get on that treadmill each day because it inspires you, it feels good, and your thought is clear afterwards. Often you find that solutions to problems come to you when you run and you were not even focusing on them.

I hope I can continue my dedication to running as I grow older, when pregnant, with a newborn, and with aching knees, because it grounds me. It makes the world right. It invigorates, inspires, and fuels me. What fuels you?