We all just want to be loved. I think of it often — when I feel I am acting out, when I see a colleague lose it, a friend struggle, or loved one unhappy. At the heart of everything love is the core of why we do so many things. We want it. We want it all the time. This idea from Mark Nepo in “The Book of Awakening” says it all for me:
“We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time.
When we hesitate in being direct, we unknowingly slip something on, some added layer of protection that keeps us from feeling the world, and often that thin covering is the beginning of a loneliness which, if not put down, diminishes our chances of joy.
It’s like wearing gloves every time we touch something, and then, forgetting we chose to put them on, we complain that nothing feels quite real. Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being, soft and unrepeatable.”
I was thinking about it in relation to Thanksgiving Day. Think about how loved you are and share that with others this week. Even if you might not feel loved – you are. Someone said in a meeting recently “You get what you give.” I love that. It is so true. As we go into a day of gratitude and thanks, remember to take off your gloves and get rid of your layer of protection. Be the raw and real you.
Make sure the doorknob feels cold, and the car handle feels wet, and maybe you will get more kisses goodbye, or maybe you should give them more often.
Being 37.5 weeks pregnant means I am not as mobile as I used to be — which means I am reading a bit more on the weekends. Since I have not gone for a run in 3 months (so hard for me) – it meant my reading had slowed down. We have filled our days and nights with planning and prepping for this baby boy to join us, but these last few weekends I have been reading more.
“First, we need to understand the power of conditioning. The following demonstration will make the point.
Right now, wherever you are sitting, lift your right foot a few inches off the ground and then start moving it in a clockwise circle. At the same time as you’re doing that, raise your right hand and draw a number six in the air.
What happened? Your right foot switched directions, didn’t it? Try it again. The reversal will happen every time!” page 4
Frustrated? Did it happen for you or were you able to get past it? It got me interested enough to keep reading (even though I skipped a lot of exercises). The real nugget I wanted to share was:
“Our energy follows our attention, always.” Page 69
It is true is it not? What we focus on we absorb. What we absorb, we ingest. What we ingest impacts our energy, our mood, our body language, and often what comes out of our mouth. Chris and I often talk about the energy we allow into our home. I think about it at work and with friends. We have a choice on what we focus on, what we attend to, and if we redirect — we might actually have a happier and more “energetic” life.
So Mini Conk is breech and has been for a few weeks. I now have a few weeks to get him turned for delivery (6.5 weeks away from my due date). My OB said that some of the regular techniques were not okay for me to do because of some health issues, and so she suggested we try a Chinese technique called moxibustion.
Moxibustion uses “moxa” sticks made of dried mugwort leaves, and is burned near your pinky toe. Here is an excerpt from a natural acupuncture website:
“Indirect moxibustion is a popular form of increasing the body’s natural flow of energy at a certain point. One end of a moxa stick, roughly the shape and size of a cigar, is lit and held close to the area being treated for several minutes. Administering Moxa opens up the uterus to make more room for the breech baby to turn. Combined with an acupuncture treatment, moxibustion helps to increase fetal movement, and the effect of gravity will encourage the heaviest part of the baby, the head, to enter the pelvis as it shifts its position.”
Over the weekend we found a Chinese acupuncture clinic that would sell us the moxa sticks and we have been trying. It is the strangest feeling. It is like fireworks are going off inside of me while also feeling like the bouncy castle for the baby growing inside me. He moves like crazy. We started on Sunday and from what I can tell by how he is laying inside of me he still has not turned, so we will continue on this path and hope there is enough room inside there for him to turn so he can embark on joining us as gracefully as possible.
From time to time we find there might be people in our life that bring toxic energy. When that happens we usually know and feel it, but sometimes what is the hardest is removing those individuals and their toxic energy from our life entirely. You might think — well, why is it so hard? For a few reasons. They might be a family member or co-worker, they might be a neighbor, or a long time friend. Yes, it might be a lot easier said then done. However, when we are able to make the choice to remove them from our life, the way forward can sometimes be very easy and, when it’s done, we feel free.
That is the easy part. What do we do with those we cannot remove, but yet leave the toxic dust in their wake? A recent Daily Om titled: “Taking on the Energy of Others” discusses how to cope with people toxic people or those that drain us:
“Each of us radiates energy and is capable of being influenced by the energy of other people. It is important to learn how to shield yourself, so you don’t unknowingly take on someone else’s energy.”
Later is says discuss how to protect oneself:
“There are a number of ways to avoid being affected by people’s energy. Shielding is one preventative technique you can use. Center yourself and envision being enveloped in a cocoon of loving and protective light. This protective layer should allow you to consciously regulate the energy around you.”
Sometimes that is easier said then done. However, if you take it one day at time, one conversation at a time, it gets easier. I know I can work on it, as there are days when it is easier to vent about a frustrating conversation, or to complain about that person that makes our life miserable. What if we just did not let it bother us? If we let the toxicity roll off of us, like water on a car that has just been waxed? Easy? No. Doable, yes.
I am going to go find some wax to work on my shield.
I love being around people who have a fire inside and want to be in the world. Whether that is in the smallest of ways of impacting those around them, or in the largest of ways of wanting to change the world. Maybe that is through small acts of kindness, politics, your child’s school, at work, it does not matter. The positive energy inside that exudes into the world is what I love seeing come forth. I recently came across this quote from Marianne Williamson and thought, ah so true:
“When a woman rises up in glory, her energy is magnetic and her sense of possibility contagious.”
This can happen every day, every moment. Each time we do not get pulled down by the crap that surrounds us — the nay-sayers, the ones trying to push us down, we are contagious. In a good way.
I have posted blogs quite a few times about how I want to suck the life out of every day. I like to do everything I possibly can each day. Find the opportunities and go into each moment knowing that almost anything is possible. So often we get sucked into the energy around us (and yes it happens to me too). Someone can be complaining about their day, their weekend, or their life and so easily we get pulled into that toxic energy. Instead of getting sucked in, we need to change our thought and keep it focused on energy that allows us to thrive and shift the thought of others. Just maybe your energy will bring those toxic people into the world of possibility.
Here is to having contagious energy and an openness that makes others know anything is possible.