love

We All Just Want To Be Loved

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It seems like with everything I do the idea that continues to come back to me again and again is that we each just want to be loved. Whether it is a child acting out, another starting a tantrum, or a child that does not stop talking because all they want is attention. It might be the co-worker that does a certain thing that when you watch from the sidelines you see it is a call out to all to listen and see them. It might be a boss that needs a bit of love too. We all need love no matter what role we fill. Sometimes, though, some of us do not know how to ask for love, or to show others that we need it and to compensate, we act out. Others may find us acting needy. When really all we are want from the deep parts of our soul, is to feel and be LOVED.

Do you know others around you that you can see so badly want to feel loved? Do you give them the love they need? Do you know how? Sometimes even those crying out for love do not know how to receive it in return. For me, when I am in a conversation with someone else, I want to focus on that conversation and connection completely. I want to give of myself during that time period. However, when I find those I am interacting with are not present or are distracted, it often sends me a message that I am not valued, heard, or loved. It is a place of frustration for me. So I focus often (or try to) on what others are saying and being present in my conversations with them. I want them to know and feel that I care and am present. I want them to feel that I hear them. It is all a form of love.

a little LOVE in Venice, CA

Do you agree? Do you think that at the core of all we do we all just want to be and feel loved? If you agree, how does that help you to focus differently on others today? Tomorrow? The next day?

We Do Things Our Own Way

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It was not love at first sight. When my husband and I first met we did not like each other. I thought Chris was too nice, and I did not trust a man who was so nice. In my experience, men had not been good to me, so a man who was so nice had to be hiding something. I was also not in the greatest ‘man loving’ space in my life at the time, so Chris did not think of me as such a nice woman. Interesting what view we had of each other, and it definitely is a good reminder that you should never judge a book by its cover. After working together for over a year, through many 16 hour days, I left my job. When I did, I realized that what I missed most was Chris. Funny how what you find you liked least is what you miss the most.

on our wedding day

That was over ten years ago. Today we celebrate nine years of marriage. I can hardly believe it. We are each other’s champion, greatest advocate, and many times hardest critic. You might ask why we are each other’s hardest critic. It is because by our union in marriage, our living our life together, we hope to make the world a better place. Sometimes that means saying the hard things. It means telling the other that how they handled a situation was not their finest moment, that they can do better, push harder, ask for more, take a stronger stand. It makes us better individuals, better citizens, and a stronger couple.

If you were to ask me what encapsulates my marriage. I would answer: we do things are own way. We entered our marriage on our own terms in the way we wanted. We did not succumb to other’s opinions of how we should get married. Our wedding was solely about the moments when we made a vow to each other. A vow that has a foundation on trust, love, honesty, and integrity. Some may not have liked the choices we made, and other still may not like the choices we continue to make, but they are ours to make.

Our hope is that if we speak out to make a situation better for those that come after us, that together we are a strong bond that trickles or pours that goodness into the rest of the world. We are rich by the strength of our bond, by our love, our independence, our determination, and our deep love for each other.

Thank you, Chris, for nine wonderful years, and for doing it our way together.

Rain, luggage, and Christmas lights

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Coincidences. I love when you share something with someone and they say they found that same idea at the same time you did. Last week I posted a blog about a Maya Angelou quote. I was telling a co-worker about the quote yesterday and she told me that she had just shared the same quote with a friend that day. Was it a coincidence or were we both meant to be inspired by this same quote? She then asked if I had read the full quote. Usually I research that sort of thing before writing a blog post, but at the time of writing Thursday’s post I decided I liked the simplicity of that quote just the way it was shared. The co-worker then shared the full quote with me. I was stunned. I knew immediately I had to be sure to share the full quote on my blog. Here is in its entirety:

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life. I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.” I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

Gosh how many times have you had those days when you feel like you cannot keep going. Whether it be a bad day at work, a day that started out on the wrong side of the bed and for some reason you cannot get over your grumpiness, or you get horrible news that you are not sure will ever have a happy ending. This quote is a great reminder that the day starts fresh when you wake up again, and that you do have a choice to be present each day. You do have a choice to connect with someone else. You do have a choice to share love. The most unselfish love there is, is not asking for anything in return.

What is great is that my co-worker is doing this right now for a friend. I have watched her share unconditional love with a friend in need without asking for anything in return.

How do you handle a “rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights?”