Things could be worse

Posted by random olio

“Things could be worse and things could be so much better.” This is a line from a Joshua Ferris book “To Rise Again at a Decent Hour.” I just finished reading it and am a bit baffled by it. I love, love, loved “The Unnamed.” This book was just not the same. Regardless of the verdict on his recent book, I loved this idea. How often do we go about our lives and think: “Oh what a crappy day, or week, or month, or year.” We wallow in the situation we are in, agonize over how we could be treated differently, or think that life is incredibly unfair. Yet, maybe things are going to get worse, or maybe they will be so much better.

I have blogged about an idea my sister shared with me when I was in elementary or middle school. She said: “Things can only get better.” They did eventually get better. I do not remember how long it took, or if there was a specific moment when things got better — but they did. Sometimes I think our personal hell eventually becomes foggy or gets smaller in our minds. Sort of when you drive away from something it gets smaller and smaller or further and further away. Either life shifts and the good outweighs the bad, or our focus on the good or the bad changes. Just as the line from the book says, we could always be worse off, and life can always be better than it is right now.

There are so many ways to look at it:

_You could say I did not get what I wanted, my life sucks.

_You can say I did not get what I wanted, and I know there is something even better out there for me.

_You could say I did not get what I wanted, but my life could be worse. I could have less than I have now. I know things could be better than they are right now, but I am just grateful for what I have right now.

Regardless of how you approach your situation, it is HOW we look at it and HOW we react to what is in front of us. Do we look at life with a glass half full or a glass half empty? When we are grateful for what we have in front of us right now, we are given the space to receive more. Are you filling your glass up, or running on low? Just remember, things could be worse.

“Footprints for good.”

Posted by random olio

When I first started reading this book I thought oh this is going to be a boring one. You know the story about the rich kid, successful in the business world who finds himself helping people in need in a third world country. I do not mean to sound negative, but there are quite a few of those stories turned into books. However, this one is different. If you want to rethink your life, even in the tiniest of ways in order to help others, be sure to pick up “The Promise of a Pencil: How an Ordinary Person Can Create Extraordinary Change” by Adam Braun. After you realize it is more than the rich kid meets third world and you let yourself get pulled into his story you will realize that this is a meaningful book.

Braun’s non-profit idea started from a conversation with a child where he asked: “What do you most want?” The child’s response was: “A pencil.” He wanted a pencil so he could go to school and learn. It was a reminder of how privileged we are each and every day. Most of these children whether in Africa, Asia, or Latin America do not have a school let alone a classroom to go to each day. Throughout Braun’s book he shares what he learned along the way of building his organization and juxtapositions his experience with little things anyone could do in their daily life to make change. Listen more. Strive for exceptional things. When you are tested, continue to move forward. Connect with others. Believe. Rejuvenate in order to be completely present with others. The list goes on. “Pencils of Promise” has built over 150 schools and the entire idea was started with $25. This is the one of the final quotes of his book, I thought it was a great ending:

“Start by changing the subjects of your daily conversation form the life you are living to the life you aspire to create. By speaking the language of the person you seek to become, you will soon find yourself immersed in the conversations that make you most come alive. You’ll sense the energy you emit attracting similar energy from others. Your conversations will lead to opportunities, which will become actions, which will become footprints for good.” Page 250

This book made me think about what I am doing in my life right now. How am I helping? How am I listening to those around me? How am I connecting? Regardless of whether I have started a non-profit, or building schools in other countries, how have I become alive? Am I living my true energy? How will being true to myself lead me to the next phase in my life? So many questions and so many opportunities.

Read this book. It may just inspire you.

What Doug said.

Posted by random olio

“Do it right the first time.” My dad ingrained this into my thought. At times he was a bit of an asshole, and I hated him for it. Looking back I sort of understand what he was trying to teach us. He definitely left an impact on me (and most likely my sister and brother). Not always in a positive way. Yet, I find myself responding to issues and feel as though my dad is yelling through me. There are times with work projects that I think “do it right the first time.” I have words form in my brain, that feel like something he would say (I have just enough of a filter to not say it out loud).

He adamantly cared about looking at a task and thinking about your approach. His response to our sometimes half-ass focus to the task was often asinine. I can remember once when my sister and I were asked to clean our shared room. We did. Or so we thought. We came home to find that all of our dresser and desk drawers where dumped in the middle of the room, our closet contents were on top. When I saw the mess I freaked out a bit, and honestly so did he. His comment to us was: “If you cleaned it the first time you would not have to start from scratch.” His actions were definitely extreme, but his point was made. I have never forgotten what it felt like to see every one of my possessions and my sister’s spewed out all over our bedroom floor. I was also pissed. How could he?

That was his style. That was his way. He made memorable (not always positive) moments. He wanted you to have a reaction so that you would not do it again. Dan and Chip Heath potentially would have appreciated his style, if only it was a tad bit more on the positive side.

Sunday is Father’s Day, and I hope that as my dad watches over me he is seeing my life and thinking: “Tami is doing it right the first time.” I taught her well. Or, “one day she will learn.” Dad’s do their best to teach us what they know. Sometimes they are still learning and growing and we have to take their feedback, comments, and instructions with a grain of salt. Either way, they love us to pieces.

Happy Dad’s Day, Doug!

“Not one more” shooting

Posted by random olio

I had to wait a day or two to formulate my thoughts about the shooting in a local Troutdale, Oregon school. Social media sites are being bombarded with statistics about the number of school shootings all across the United States, and comparing them to other countries. Maybe I am thinking about it more because it happened less than 30 minutes away from me, or maybe I am sick and tired of watching innocent children be injured or die.

Bulletproof blankets for schools at the low price of $1000 a blanket, metal detectors in all school entrances. What has it come to? I do not really care about your politics or your personal opinions on gun control. I want to talk about the real issue, which is whether our children are safe or not in schools. Children go to school to learn, to trust, to push our boundaries. How can children learn when they are afraid of their fellow students? When they might fear that those that bully them might kill them to? It scares the crap out of me to think about sending my future kids to school. Will all parents have to start home schooling because we do not have the proper security and safety in our schools? Gun control, gun rights, politics, bearing arms aside, what are we going to do to protect our children?

I am angry.

What are we doing as a country to handle and resolve this issue? There was a visual icon on a friend’s Facebook page that said: “NOT ONE MORE” in support of finding a solution to school shootings. We all remember Columbine. We remember Virginia Tech where it was a massacre of lives. We remember Newtown. Are the shootings where one or two kids are shot not as important, or does the large volume of schools where incidents have occurred (fatalities or not) matter? They all add up do they not? There is a real issue, and we need to resolve it.

What are we going to do? What are you going to do? What am I going to do to step up and be apart of the change that needs to happen? How long are we going to continue to watch the news each day, and continue to be desensitized to the issues with guns? This Bill Moyers article lists the actual gun deaths or injuries in schools by date since Newtown – a shocking 79 in the last 18 months.

I am shocked. I am disappointed. I want answers. I want solutions.

Tears, teeth, and that smell

Posted by random olio

Yesterday I had a dentist appointment. It was a rough day in all ways. We got some not so fun news this week, Chris was traveling, a not so fun day at work, the list goes on. I will not bore you with the details. I am in the dentist chair getting my teeth cleaned, exhausted and almost falling asleep. I keep smelling something that feels familiar and realize it is my hygienist. I told her I was having a rough day and she was great, just kept quiet and did not talk too much. In turn it allowed me to be quiet.

Behind the big green glasses they give you to block their bright light, I felt tears come to my eyes. I had just spoken to my sister on my drive over to the dentist office. The smell reminded me of something from my past which in turn made me think of my mom, thus the tears. I was having one of those “I miss my mom moments” while my head was lower than my feet in the dentist chair. “Seriously?” I am thinking. “I have tears in my eyes at the dentist?” Most likely the emotions surrounding all the events of the past few days are bringing the water works, but did it have to be at the dentist?

No one noticed. Funny how I truly hate going to the dentist, and yet at this moment of cleansing, when they scrape, floss the crap out of your gums, and prod in your mouth, that it was the hour in my day that I needed to just let go, and hide behind the green glasses under the bright light. It always amazes me how the littlest smell can set off emotions in your body, bring back memories from childhood, and make you miss someone who has been gone for 20 years. I was having a day where I wanted to curl in a ball, scream and yell, throw a tantrum, and have my mom tell me it was all going to be alright.

My sister consoled me, Chris later consoled me, but sometimes all you want is your mom. Life is real and raw and painful sometimes. People let us down. We move on, we grow thicker skin, and somehow we make it through it all. Sometimes though we just want our mom to tell us that we did all we could do, and that we are going to be alright. I am looking forward to a new day full of opportunities to be quiet and listen, dance and run, and snuggle and hold those that are dear close to me.

Oh, and I have clean teeth now.