Bring on the five year old me.

Posted by random olio

You know when you keep having a thought in your head, or a word that continues to come to you? Lately that word has been perfect, or perfection, or perfectionism. It has come up in my own life, and at work. Usually folks will say with pride: “I am a perfectionist.” Or they might say, “I am a perfectionist, but I do not look at that as a weakness, it is a strength of mine.” Whatever it means to each of us, the word has been on my brain. Thus, I am not sure why it took me so long to read Anna Quindlen’s book: “Being Perfect.” It is not a new book, it has been around about 9 years. Once you pick it up you can read it in about 15 minutes. All 48 pages are full of black and white photos. To me this is the best quote of the entire book:

“Give up the nonsensical and punishing quest for perfection that dogs too many of us through too much of our lives. It is a quest that causes us to doubt and denigrate ourselves, our true selves, our quirks and foibles and great heroic leaps into the unknown. Much of what we were at five or six is what we wind up wishing we could be at fifty or sixty.” page 44-45

There are times when I think trying to be perfect holds us back from relishing the life we are living that very moment. There are countless times when I have to make something look just right, or finish up that task, or make sure my house is clean before I can do x, y, or z. I have blogged before about how much my surroundings need to be organized in order for me to be creative, but what if that is only the result of wanting things a certain way and, dare I say, that certain way is to have everything in its place? Does that make me a perfectionist?

I am sure there are loads of studies that have already been done about perfectionism. I am not going to look them up. I am not going to do any research. I am also not going to feel bad about who I am or where I like to have order in my life. At the moment it works for me as long as I am aware of what I am doing and I do not let my ways get in the way of potentially missing out on an adventure, or a “leap into the unknown.” Yes, I will have to be quite aware of when I think I am not going to do “that thing” because it might be messy, or because it is something new and uncomfortable.

I am going to embrace the five-year old me. Bring it on!

OOBAJUBAWOBBLES

Posted by random olio

So I was recently thinking of a summer while I was in college. I was a camp counselor, and I had the most hilarious camper. She somehow had been taught (or made up herself) that breasts, boobs, whatever you want to call them were “oobajubawobbles.” Oh what fun the counselors had with that one (after hours of course). If only I could remember each word she had for the size. She had a different word for flat to massive. Normal size was oobajubawobbles, extra-large were super oobajubawobbles…the list goes on.

Ah, the fun and randomness of little ones. If I remember correctly she was in elementary school. Talking about oobajubawabbles made her laugh so much, so I did not mind. Even if we were really talking about breasts. I love that something that happened 15+ years ago brings a smile to my face, and a chuckle. I do not remember what she looked like, and I do not remember her name, but the word was so different that the story has never left me.

As someone who can get excited while talking, thus talk fast and often smooshes words together I have a fun time thinking of all the strange words I have made up over the years. Chris and I often find we make up words that only we know and understand what they mean. We use them in public, or sometimes awkward situations and we both can communicate without those we are with understanding the meaning of our words. So maybe it is not just kids that say the darndest things.

In case you were wondering there are no search results on google.com for: oobajubawobbles. Maybe today we can make history. Share this blog post and let’s see if we can make it findable on google. For that little girl who could not stop laughing about oobajubawobbles.

#oobajubawabbles

Ten things about my dad

Posted by random olio

My sister and a good friend just had babies in the last two months. It is fun watching (well I guess more through pictures at the moment) and thinking about Chris being a father someday. It has also prompted me to be reflective about my relationship with my own father. It was not really a rock-solid relationship. We had hard times, we had good times, but through it all we had memories. Here are a few remembrances of my dad:

If I knew I would lose him at such a young age, I would have kept all the letters he wrote to me on Christmas Eve (aka Santa who ate my cookies and drank the egg nog). Of course we left out egg nog for Santa, my dad LOVED his egg nog. The letters from Santa though, I guess I got rid of them, and they were the few letters I had from my dad. It would have been fun today to hear his wisdom. Especially during a holiday he loved. I am positive his letters probably shared his best self.
I wish he had been here long enough to meet Chris. He would have inadvertently taught him about construction. Chris would have picked up things quickly and learned to leave the truly professional jobs for the professionals.
He would have fun talking to Chris about cars. His “Automobile Quarterly” was a cherished possession. The two of them would geek out, although he would probably talk Chris’ head off with his endless stories of growing up on his Dad’s car lot.
The only movie I can remember seeing with him is, “Who Framed Roger Rabbit.” Seriously? What was he thinking? Bad movie, Dad.
His blue pickup truck was, well honestly, a piece of shit, but it was his truck and it contained all of his endless notes, crappy construction items, odd-shaped pencils, tape measures, clipboards, and what I will never forget, the device you could wire to the horn and play my favorite ever – the Dukes of Hazzard theme song. How cool I thought it was to have that blaring from the truck as we drove down the street.
I wish I knew I had a short time with him. I would have gotten over the grudge I held for so long. Not that it would have been easy for him, but I would have made us talk through our differences.
I do not remember it as much as a kid, but as I got older and saw him less and less, he seemed to show his emotion more and more. If only that had started earlier on in my life. If only.
He was a good/big hugger. Maybe that is where I get it from.
He had an addiction to Ritz crackers and peanut butter. I do not share this addiction. It just makes me think of sandpaper and glue. Dry and sticks to your mouth. Lime chips are where it is at! Wish I could spoil him with my addiction.
He would have loved iPhones. Not for the email, or phone, but for the games. If he knew you could play Cribbage, Euchre, Scrabble, Solitaire, I can imagine how unproductive he would have become. I think he would have played me from wherever he would be living.

I admire you Madison Kimrey

Posted by random olio

Madison Kimrey is a 12-year old girl. If all of us had the guts and bluntness Madison had at the age of 12, the world would be a better place. Madison wrote a letter to Phyllis Schlafly, who is an outspoken activist and is against modern feminism, and the Equal Rights Amendment. This is an excerpt from her letter to Phyllis Schlafly that especially resonates with me:

“At a time in their lives when they should be free, independent, and exploring and preparing for the possibilities they have in the future, many of them are worried about getting or keeping a boyfriend. There are young women my age who are extremely smart but they hide it because they get messages from women like you that if they are too smart or successful, boys won’t like them. They get messages from women like you that pleasing a man should be their number one goal. You’re contributing to making young women uncomfortable when they go bra shopping because they’ve learned to analyze every choice based on what other people will think instead of having the freedom and confidence to choose what’s best for them.”

Hell yeah, Madison. I do not think I could have said it better. Seriously. Spot on.

The funny part is that while Madison is speaking to her 12-year-old age range, it never stops. This excerpt from her letter could be read about 25 year olds, even 35 year olds. Her mention of bra shopping is to find a commonality with Phyllis and she uses the analogy of bra shopping to relate specifically to her. We all come in different shapes and sizes, and we all should have the choice to find the bra that unique fits us and our lifestyle. She says: “Equality doesn’t mean women will all make the same choice. It means women will be treated the same no matter what choices they make.” I may have had a paper route, sold thousands of boxes of girl scout cookies, took care of my mom at the age of twelve, but I could never have eloquently went off on a conservative political activist.

Be sure to click the link above to read her full letter. Think of it as taking the time for feminists today of all ages. You are a badass, Madison, and I hope parents all over share your letter with their daughters. May they learn from you.

What if you became invisible?

Posted by random olio

I am not going to lie, I shed a tear. Well a few throughout this video. It hits your emotional core. It makes you think what if that were me? Well at least that is what I thought. See I remember a time as a kid when we almost became homeless. My mom was sick and did not have a job, our house was foreclosed on, and we did not know what would happen next. In the end we never lived on the streets, or in a homeless shelter. My sister stayed with a family friend, my mom went into a nursing home, and I stayed with my grandma. So we were split up, but we had a place to live. I am saying all this because I should have compassion for the homeless, and yet I walk on by like many do.

Which maybe is why this video had such an emotional twist for me. It is a video I found on Fast Company about how we usually walk by the homeless. I have to admit with the magnitude of homeless individuals we have in Portland it is easy to walk by without noticing. Maybe it is because you never know if you can trust whether or not the panhandling is legitimate or not. This video, however, makes you look at it in a different way.

First, a bit of context. The New York City Recuse Mission set out to show folks the invisibility of homeless in New York. They approached a few individuals to pose as homeless people and then had them on the street as their family walked down that same street. Their family each walked by without recognizing them. It was all caught on video, and the family was later shown how they walk right past their loved ones. It is all part of their campaign: “Have the Homeless Become Invisible?” I love the idea. I could use my own waking up on interacting with the homeless in Portland.