…learning to write my story…

How did you learn to write? Did you start with a diary that had a little padlock, where you would write all your innermost thoughts and experiences? Did you learn in school or when you started your first job? I remember writing a lot as a kid. I did not have the padlocked diary, but I wrote many short stories. I still have some of them. I do not remember what compelled me to start to write. There are also gaps, where I do not have any writing, no journal entries, and no short stories. Looking back to middle and high school there was too much happening in my life, that writing took a back burner. Later, in college, I began writing more, memoir excerpts, journal writing and taking notes of quotes I appreciated or that resonated with me from authors I read.

Recently I posted about “My Ideal Bookshelf.” I have continued to enjoy exploring the pages of this book. To learn what books have changed or shaped the lives of different authors, writers, chefs, etc. Two ideas stood out to me from different individuals. The first is from Michael Chabon:

“But that was how I learned to write, and it’s the approach I recommend to people who want to write. It’s through imitation that painters learn to paint and composers learn to compose. It is an incredibly useful way to figure out how to write like yourself in the long run. And it’s much easier and more pleasurable to imitate a writer whose work you love.”

And this one from writer, Andrew Sean Greer:

“We don’t write in a void. Our storytelling comes from reading, learning, and trying out techniques we love. As Pound says, we ought to have either the decency to acknowledge a theft outright or the cleverness to hide it. Since I can’t hide anything, I guess it’s clear where I stand on that point.”

Both quotes make me think more and more about why I read so much. As I spend hours and hours of my year reading, I learn more about what I like in authors and what I do not like. I learn the different ways an author sets their scene. I learn who inspires and challenges me as an author. Hopefully I will continue to find my own voice and write my story. Whether that be a memoir, a short story, or a novel, I believe there is a story, or many stories in each of us, just waiting to be told. Some of us tell these stories in the form of a book, others through acting, some through marketing or social media. Whatever the avenue we each have a story to tell, we just have to listen for when it is ready to be shared.

just a few of my journals...

just a few of my journals…

Thank you for being part of my journey to tell my story.

Designing my 2013

It is officially 2013. Still so hard to believe. While I am not much of a fan of New Year’s resolutions, I do think it is good to have goals for the year. So much good happened in 2012, it is hard to imagine what big things will happen in 2013. Here is the start of my list of things I want to do in 2013:

  • Run a 1/2 marathon
  • Start writing a book
  • Read more than 125 books. Maybe 150?
  • Travel more
  • Celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary (via a trip)
  • Add more photos in my blog posts
  • Take my camera out more often so I can add photos to my blog posts!
  • Paint more
  • Get back into drawing, I have a new fascination with figure drawing
  • Start to meditate

Here is my dilemma: I am often hard on myself to do everything and then some more. For example, each year I add another project to my list. In 2010, I wanted to read 100 books, for 2011 I wanted to read 125 books. In 2012 I wanted to read 125 books, write in my journal each day, and post a blog each week day. This year what has come to me to add to that list is: to meditate each day. Is that a lot to take on in addition to my exercise regimen, professional work, and being a wife? Will I have enough time in the day to do each of these projects? Yes. Why you might ask? Because these projects fuel and inspire me. Often I will write in my journal and get a blog idea. Or I will run and read, and solve a problem at work. It all somehow connects together. I think meditation will be the perfect blend to what I am already doing.

What to do better next year…

I would like to cherish the small moments, smile and laugh more, play more, and reach out and connect with those in my life that I have not spoken to in a long time. I would like to let go more and control less. These all might sound like easy things to do, but for me they are not. They will take conscious effort and focus if I want to be better. Take cherishing the small moments: This means I have to live more in the moment, which means I have to be more aware when I am not living in the moment. Hopefully as I meditate more, that will help with each of the above items. Time will tell. I will try to share my progress throughout the year.

I am also going to start doing something I saw on Facebook. I have started a jar that says: “Good things that happened in 2013.” At the end of the year we will open the jar and read all the notes. I bet it will be quite amazing to look back and read things we had forgotten about, and to see all of them in writing. I am ready for 2013 – bring it on!

What goals do you have for 2013?

2012 in Review

It is New Year’s Eve. I can hardly believe it is *almost* 2013. I feel like I just got used to writing 2012. I can remember back in 2000 the thought of making it to 2010 was strange to me. It felt like such a long time away, and yet here we are at the beginning of 2013. Before I get excited for what 2013 will bring, I wanted to reflect back on 2012. Here is a list of a few noteworthy details of my year, then it is time to party like it will be 2013:

  • Launched randomolio.com
  • Enjoyed a few months of “layoff” land
  • Found a job that changed many things in my life
  • Read 125 books for a 2nd year in a row
  • Moved into my dream house, am still in awe
  • I am no longer addicted to feta or Triscuits
  • Let my hair continue to grow out – the longest it has been to date
  • Learned that I am by nature an introvert, and that is okay
  • Stayed consistent with my running regimen, sometimes 7 days a week
  • Interacted with some amazing online folks

My favorite posts of 2012:

What is ahead in 2013?

See Wednesday’s blog for details!

Also, I wanted to thank Jackie.Eat.World for nominating me for the Versatile Blogger Award. I have received this award a few times this year, these are my recent nominations.

Happy, happy, happy New Year!

What if you were lost and no one found you?

A colleague at work alerted me to Benjamin Kyle. Have you heard of him? I had not. Benjamin Kyle is not this man’s real name. His real name in unknown. He was found in 2004 behind a Burger King, with amnesia. He had no identification on him, and since he does not know who he is, and the government has not been able to determine who he is. He does not have a social security number and until someone hired him, he was not able to work. You will want to watch this short documentary video of what has happened to him between 2004 and today. No one has claimed him, or has sent out a missing person alert for him. Authorities have named him Benjamin Kyle. That is who he has been for the last 8 years.

Learning about him made me ask the question: “What if you were lost and no one found you?” Quite the deep and slightly depressing question. Yet, it makes you think about belonging, connections, friends, and family. What would it be like if we did not have our friends and family to check on us? To know if we were missing, or if something happened to us? I am sure there are plenty of people out there that have lost their friends and family and do not have others to check in on them. Do you know anyone like that? If so, have you checked in on them recently?

That is part of what makes Benjamin so interesting. It is an anomaly for someone to be lost, then found, and not be claimed. It is against what we feel should happen to others. It makes me grateful for the family and friends in my life. To know that I would be missed.

Portrait of Benjamin Kyle

Portrait of Benjamin Kyle

I want to leave you today with an awe-inspiring portrait of Benjamin Kyle. It was done with over 2 million ink dots. You can find a few more images of this portrait and further background details at this link on Colossal. The artist is selling 200 limited edition prints of Benjamin Kyle. “50% of all proceeds made through this limited edition will be dedicated to helping Benjaman Kyle retrieve a new SSN and to get his life back on track.”

An amazing story of a man finding his identity. Please share his story.

Response to yesterday’s blog

Yesterday I wrote about a book I had a recently read and shared a quote. I received the following comment from Renee at unpackedwriter:

“Great post! Very well written, yet author has not answered the question of the post…Have you gone there? How have you opened that door and revealed or re-revealed yourself as you really are? Hard to make these generalizations, as wonderfully expressed as they are without examples.

And what happens if we change the script of who we are midlife, or begin a slow but unrevealed realization that we’ve been concealing something. Speaking as a woman, I’ve hidden certain types of rarely used “toys” from my husband because they haven’t fit the understood script of who we are together. How does the book address such? Are there examples you are comfortable sharing from your own life?”

I thought today that I would respond to this comment directly in my blog. Thank you for your feedback, Renee. I have definitely gone there. I hide nothing from my husband. We have a completely transparent marriage. If you talked to my friends you would find that I do not go to them with my relationship issues. If there is something that needs to be discussed about my marriage, it is with Chris himself. My marriage is with Chris and not with others in my life, therefore, he should be the one that knows my thoughts, concerns, and feelings. There is not a day that goes by that he does not know what I am thinking and feeling.

If we have had a disagreement, or not communicated well and I am upset, I cannot fall asleep at night. I might go to bed, and try, but I cannot go to sleep. I may have laid there for hours, and if I do and he has fallen asleep, I have to be the brat and wake him up and talk it all out. This rarely happens, because most of the time we over communicate.

Regarding your question about if the book addresses this – the answer is no. Since Shapiro’s book is a compilation of interviews with married or divorced individuals, there were short snippets of ideas and quotes from individuals. The quote I shared was from one individual’s experience. It made me think of individuals in my life that are in relationships, hiding who they really are because they are afraid of losing the person they are dating. I so want them and others in my life to be who they are, and not hide because of the thought of losing someone in their life.

I hope that sheds more light and background on my own personal experience and thoughts. As well as a bit about why it was important to me. Thank you again for taking the time to share your comment and feedback!