What it must have been like for my Dad

I was reading a book recently, where the character reminded me of my dad.

After my parents got divorced my dad moved from a bad house to an even worse house. At one time he was even living in a barn. I saw his space. He slept on a cot, and had his clothes in milk crates. There was another place that he would never take me too. I never understood why. Now looking back I see it was his pride. In many ways I am glad he never showed me. I am a visual person and it would be imprinted in my thoughts. I still remember how strange it was to see my dad inside the barn stall. His friend let him stay there when he had no where else to go.

dad’s home away from home

At the time he lived in Indiana, and it was the early 90’s. I cannot imagine rent was that expensive, and yet he did not have the money. I remember one house he lived in, had mice. Yes, many homes have mice, but these you would hear crawling through the walls, and they loved the kitchen. You would find their droppings in cupboards, on the counter, and on the floor. I am sure my dad hated it, but many times he did not have a choice. I know what he would tell me today. He would say: “I have a roof over my head, and food on the table and that is all that matters.”

As I type this I am crying. I wish he had a better life. If he were still alive today, maybe he would have figured some things out and found that house that he could call a home, with no mice, windows that let in the light, a dresser for his clothes, and a place to park his beloved truck. I wish I had understood back then how hard it must have been for him. To have to leave the home you have, walk away from seeing your family each night, and start out new. I wish his life had been different. I will never know what his life might have turned out like, but I can keep living and working to make mine better.

Love you, Dad.

The proof is in the pudding…

Posted by random olio

Who knew? Adding vanilla pudding to chocolate chip cookies makes all the difference. Now, if you like crunchy chocolate chip cookies, then you might have a different opinion. I am a bit finicky, as I like my chocolate chip cookie to be softer. Usually I make them and only want to eat them warm on the first day. Often I will have one or two and then do not want anymore. Chris usually finishes the rest of them over the next few days. To me they only have a bit of glamour warm and straight from the oven.

my version…

Until last weekend. While at a neighbor’s house watching the Oscars, my neighbor’s girlfriend made cookies. They smelled delicious and a few of us talked about our own amazing chocolate chip cookie recipes. You know how everyone thinks their recipe is the best? His girlfriend mentioned that her recipe had vanilla pudding and toffee bits, and less white sugar. I do not want to admit to how many cookies I had that night. I was not successful at obtaining the recipe from her. I did go straight home and search the Internet and Pinterest until I found a recipe from “two peas & their pod” that looked good to me based on the ratio of butter, sugars, and flour.

This past Saturday night we had friends over, and I decided to make this new recipe. It does not list the toffee bits, but I added them anyway. These cookies are amazing. Who knew that vanilla pudding was the secret? I had one on Sunday (well maybe more than one) and they are still as good. I cannot remember the last time I had a chocolate chip cookie the day after I made them. While my waist might not be too happy about this new adventure, my mouth is ecstatic.

Note: If you decide to make these cookies, instead of using 2 cups of chocolate chips, I used 1 cup of chocolate chips and 1 cup of toffee bits. You could really use any amount, you decide.

What is your earliest money memory?

Posted by random olio

I can remember when I was nine I had my own paper route. I delivered the evening paper, which meant that after school I would come home, roll and rubber band each newspaper, load them onto my bike and begin delivering them. Rain, shine, snow, and slush. There were gross snow days where my dad would come home early and we would load up my papers in the back of his truck with the tailgate down. I would sit on the tailgate with my legs dangling and he would take me on my route, stop at each house, and I would jump off and throw the newspaper to its spot on the subscriber’s porch.

coin changer like the one I had for my paper route

I sometimes loved those snowy days, as cold as they may have been, just for the chance to hang out on the tailgate, and know my dad was there with me driving along. My money memory is from my paper route. I cannot remember if I actually got paid for delivering papers, or if the only payment was through tips. Each month I would take my collection book to each subscriber’s house and collect the amount they owed for the newspaper. Often I would get a tip. Tips ranged widely in amounts and really depended on who answered the door that day. The generous wife, the miserly husband, the kid who would just pay me the exact amount. Usually the best tips were around Christmas time.

It was a tough time for my family, my mom often worked many jobs to help ensure there was food on the table. I would give my parents my tip money so they could put it in my savings account, and many years later I found out that my parents were not putting it in my savings account, but that my tips were being spent. Maybe it was for the electric or phone bills, or maybe for the food on the table. It does not matter now, I will always remember that as my first money memory. Not the best lesson to learn, but maybe that is what has made me so careful with my money now.

What is your earliest money memory?

Give a little love…

Posted by random olio

Love. Love. Love. Giving a little love is never too late. I believe that love is truly the answer to so many problems. For those that are depressed, angry, or lost love could be the answer.

Most of the time when we struggle in life, when we feel loved, appreciated, and seen we find the answers we need. If that is true, what could we do to share love more each and every day? What could you do with your family, at work, with your friends? If we knew that sharing love in everything we do could transform others, would we do it? Would you? If it breaks boundaries and removes miscommunications, would you lead the way with love? If you said yes, then how do we do it? I love this quote from Brene Brown:

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known.”

The idea of being vulnerable and showing our true selves has been a recent inspiration to me. If we show our true selves in the most raw and real way, how can love not surround us? Are we afraid that it will not? It is not possible. Love is always around us, we just need to stop and witness it. Most of the time, love is surrounding us in ways we cannot imagine. We just need to open our eyes, look around, and appreciate it. A few friends shared this on Valentines Day and I wanted to share it. When you watch it, I hope it reminds you that love is there each moment of your day.

Has Pinterest started a cultural shift?

Posted by random olio

Some of my friends have become Martha Stewart moms. On Facebook I see photos of the amazing Valentine’s Day cards they have made for their children to take to school. They are clever and creative cards. They completely blow away the cards we pulled out of a box, sorted through, selected our favorite for the friends we liked the most, signed our name, folded, and shared. With the addition of Pinterest to the social media scene, I see moms outdoing themselves from the plethora of ideas and possibilities in front of them to create fun ideas.

Blast back to the past (yes to the 80’s) when the triangle on your butt was the most important thing. Were you wearing name brand jeans? Were they Guess or a knock off brand? Many times your place at school and in a clique of friends had to do with what you wore or had. Sad, yes, but true.

my Pinterest boards…

Has there been a cultural shift? Is Pinterest part of that shift?

Yes. By giving moms (and no I am not leaving you out dads, I just see more of these photos from my girl-friends), easy access to ideas that they can “pin” to a bulletin board and pull out during holidays, school events, etc. With direct access to how to execute on a project, we have born an organic DIY revolution of moms to become very creative and industrious. It has brought back my youth, and it is the new thing. I can remember many times when my mom made my clothes and I was embarrassed by it (there was no brand label). Many of the gifts from my childhood were homemade, and I hated it. If only I could go back to that time and appreciate those special moments more.

So, thank you, Pinterest for the cultural shift you have brought to homes. You’ve empowered moms to be creative, try new things, and hopefully in the process they have included their kids in the make-your-own Valentine Pinterest style.