Ahh…the Midwest.

Posted by random olio

I grew up in the Midwest, and sorry friends that still live there, but I do not miss it. Portland has my heart, yet when I recently found this great article about the Midwest called: “29 Things Only People from the Midwest Understand.” I could not resist sharing. I have to highlight a few key areas, and maybe some of you who have not lived or spent much time in the Midwest can still relate. If not, you can have a few laughs:

2. Why Steak ‘n’ Shake is the greatest restaurant in the world. Um, yes. I used to believe that, until I grew up and left the Midwest. Fries, chili at any hour of the night. It was often a place to hang out. For those of you that have not been, think of it as an amalgamation of a Village Inn, Denny’s, and if I am being very good to them maybe In-N-Out Burger. If you are interested, here is a Chowhound board discussing the merits of Steak ‘n’ Shake.

4. That driving in this is a piece of cake. (See photo in article). Yes, Portlanders could learn a thing or two about how people in the Midwest drive. Specifically, that they know how to drive when it rains, and when it snows and they do not freak out the minute those white flurries hit the ground. They have to as it snows a lot for many months out of the year. The easy part about driving in the Midwest? It is easy to park, and navigation is a synch. If you do not agree with me, move to Boston, then we can talk.

10. The difference between pretty farmland and boring farmland. Where I lived, there was not pretty farmland, it was boring. Maybe I should have moved to Kansas for the pretty farmland?

11. …and the good malls and the bad malls. Is there such a thing as a good mall?

12. That hotdish doesn’t just mean a “warmed-up plate.” Um, yes. Casseroles are the staple in the Midwest. I am not slamming them, it just reminds me of my childhood. Maybe I will understand when I have kids of my own.

16. That the state fair is the BEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE. You will have to see the picture in the article to understand this list item. I do remember this to be true as a kid. I craved the county and state fair so that I could ride the rides and foolishly spend my money on skee ball and other games for a neon stuffed animal. But…is that really a product of the Midwest, or life of a kid in any state?

23. That fireflies are what make summer, summer. Yes, yes, yes. We do not have fireflies in Oregon. I miss them.

24. Oh, and bug zappers. I do not miss these. They are not seen too often here.

26. That puppy chow is actually quite delicious. You will have to look at the picture in the article. My mom used to make this at Christmas time. It is easy, quick, and yummy. Chex Mix + butter + peanut butter + chocolate chips + powdered sugar = Human dog food.

29. That this T-shirt speaks the irrefutable, God-ordained truth. (See photo in article, it says: “It’s called Pop, not Soda.”) I still do not know if I have been weened of the habit of calling it pop. When I was young if you wanted a Dr. Pepper, Coke, or Pepsi you asked for a Pop. When I move to the East coast folks thought I was a bit odd as most called it Soda. So which is it Pop or Soda?

What do you think?

“Worry about yourself”

Posted by random olio

I cannot get this little girl out of my mind. “Worry about yourself.” That is her tagline. She makes me think of me as a little girl. I was a bossy little one. My sister can attest to that. I do not know where I learned to be bossy or where it came from. The only thing I can think of is that I was the youngest. My sister and brother are four and six years older than me. I wanted so badly to be included in their world. I wanted to know that I belonged and that I mattered.

Maybe my way of trying to fit into their life was to learn things as quickly as possible so they could never tell me that I was “too young” to play or be involved in their world. That meant I tried to learn board games quickly and early in my life, and it meant I was competitive. I wanted to be included, and I hoped that if I was good, competitive, and I won, then just maybe they would want to play with me. I hoped it would make them want to try to beat me next time. Sometimes I think my deliberate actions meant they did not want to play with me in the future. Live and learn, right?

When I found the below video, I could not help but laugh and laugh. I love the sassy nature of this girl. She reminds me of a young version of myself. She wants so badly to figure it out on her own, without help, and then tell her dad to drive. That was me. Enjoy, “Worry about yourself.”

What, what? An unkept Barbie?

Posted by random olio

Okay, I confess. I was a Barbie girl. You would not find me playing with horses, or GI Joes, I was 100% a Barbie girl. You could bring over your horse or GI Joe, but I would only play if it meant that Barbie would be involved. I do not know if it was considered a lot, but I had about 10 different Barbies, in addition to the townhouse (with string powered elevator) and the hair salon. I was obsessed with changing their outfits, combing their hair, and even gave one a haircut. Little did I know that Barbie’s hair would not grow back like mine always had.

my one saved Barbie

Yesterday when I saw this article on the Huffington Post. I had to laugh. What would Barbie look like without her makeup on? Click the above link to see. In my mind, she looks like an exhausted mom. Even so, I think that Mattel should sell a Barbie without makeup. It would show little girls that women are real, and they are beautiful with and without makeup. We do not always look amazing in the morning, and sometimes we do. Either way the reality should be present in toys that kids purchase. Free of fake eyelashes, eyeshadow, and foundation to cover up moles.

I wonder what it would have been like if my Barbie dolls looked like real woman (even in the way their feet are formed) would I have had a different idea of beauty as I grew up? Luckily I got makeup out of my system at an early age, and eventually formulated my own view of what was beautiful to me, and makeup was not on that list. I know the discourse and dialogue around creating an anatomically correct Barbie doll is old news, but I still think it needs to happen. I wonder though if makeup free, “accurate” dolls were created, would little girls be interested? Have we created little monsters?

Hopefully the trend can be reversed and there can be a happy medium. Instead of Barbie without makeup that looks exhausted and worn out, we could just have natural Barbie that has flat feet, wears her Chacos, looks energized, and maybe just wears lip gloss. Is that too much to ask?

Ants stole my jelly beans

Posted by random olio

Yesterday I was remembering an Easter Sunday from my childhood. Before I tell you what happened, I need to give you a bit of context. Each Easter we were given three Easter baskets (we knew our individual baskets based on the color ribbon tied on the top). Before we were allowed out of our bedrooms in the morning, my parents (a.k.a. the Easter Bunny) would hide our baskets and we would be set free to go and find our baskets before breakfast. There was also always a “family” basket that sat on the center of the kitchen table.

Easter 2013 egg decorating (w/niece + nephew)

Since we grew up in Indiana, it was generally cold outside, and depending on how early or late in the year Easter fell, we might even have snow. Due to the weather, our basket hunt was always somewhere in our house.

This specific year I remember finding my last basket next to a sliding glass door behind a heavy drape. Once I found it, I looked down and noticed it looked fairly black. Bending down to pick it up, I screamed. Not out of fear for what I saw, but because I knew there was no way I would be allowed to eat the candy inside my basket. My basket was covered completely with ants. Gross right? In the ten minutes it took for my parents to hide the baskets and for us to find them, the ants had completely ransacked and attacked my Easter candy.

I was mortified. To assuage me, my parents let me know that for that Easter I would get to share the “family” basket with them. I cannot remember if that was a treat for me, or not. All I can remember is that ants took over my basket.

#tooomanyants

I’ll have what they are having

Posted by random olio

I cannot help it. Every once in a while I have to go back and watch this video. It ALWAYS makes my day.

I have wondered what it would be like to be a twin. This video is one I know was floating around the Internet for a long time. I saved it. You know for those days when you are slow and you need something to keep you going? Yesterday was one of those days. I was pooped. No energy whatsoever. Watching these precious little ones have their conversation made me grin from ear to ear. What are they saying to each other? I know you have probably already seen it, but hey it is Friday, the end of a month, and sometimes you just need to put a smile on your face before you start the weekend.

Enjoy. Adda da da. Adda dada. Yeah what the ones in diapers said. I will have what they are having! Happy Friday!