Ideas

I am a food bore.

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I am a food bore. Yes, I said it. I eat mostly the same thing every day. You have probably heard me mention that a few times. I think my colleagues might think I am strange. I have the same salad every day. The same (well one of two different smoothies) each morning. It works for me. The only place I have any variety is dinner.

Someone mentioned to me the other day about the drama of food indecision. It was an A-HA moment for me. That is why I have a boring food regimen. I would rather have a scheduled food day then be indecisive. There are so many other things I do not have control over during the day, that not having to think about what food I am going to have for breakfast or lunch makes things easier. Do you ever struggle with that? Often, when I did not plan out my breakfast and lunch, it meant I just ate a lot of crap in between. I would be so busy I would forget to eat lunch and then later eat most of a bag of chips.

Recently Chris and I did a detox, where we took out all the junk we had become so used to eating from the holidays. The mochas, chips, desserts, larger sized meals, etc. We decided to wait until after the Super Bowl, because who wants to watch the Super Bowl, and know you are not allowed to eat anything in the commercials (even if you never would want it in the first place). It is the fourth time we have done this specific detox, and each time it is easier and easier to do. It reminds me of how often we put so much power into the food we eat. When we remove all the crap from our diet and eat more fruits and vegetables, we begin to not want all the junk. Each time I have done this detox, I have ended it craving fruits and vegetables, and yes there is usually some junk food I still want too. Yes, I confess, that junk for me would be chips.

Are you a food bore, or do you bring sass and flair to your meals each day?

Why should I trust you?

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Who do you trust? I have a hard time with “trust” in general. I am working on it though. Too often growing up others made promises that they did not keep, and over time it wore me down, and has made it hard for me to trust others. There are a few people in my life that I trust without question. For a select few, I might go along with plans, and have a back-up just in case promises made to me do not come through. Is having a back-up plan a bad thing? Maybe.

This Seth Godin blog titled: “Where does our trust come from?” hit home with me. I am including the full text of his blog post here:

“Hint: it never comes from the good times and from the easy projects.

We trust people because they showed up when it wasn’t convenient, because they told the truth when it was easier to lie and because they kept a promise when they could have gotten away with breaking it.

Every tough time and every pressured project is another opportunity to earn the trust of someone you care about.”

Wow. So true. Those that I trust in my life, were there with me in the fun times and the tough times. They never hesitate to tell me what I might need to hear, even if they do not want to share it with me, or when they know they might get the wrath of my response. How do you move forward and begin to trust others again? How do you know that they will not continue to break their promises? The only answer I have is to take it each day at a time, moment by moment, and listen for what feels right to do in each situation. Maybe that is the only way to build up trust, and over time let go of the control you hold close.

Do you show up for others? Every moment of each day could be a moment where you can be there for someone else, where you can show your true colors and hopefully they trust you in return.

Plan for a day, or plan for a life?

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Why do we spend so many months and years planning for a day, when really we should be planning for our life? I have written a few blog posts that discuss marriages and weddings. I was shocked after reading this Fast Company article, specifically this quote:

“As the wedding industrial complex has ballooned to unprecedented sizes–wedding costs exceeds the median income in the U.S.”

Are people crazy? Who is spending over the median income to pay for a wedding, and how many years is it taking them to pay off their wedding bills? Are we trying to turn a wedding into this perfect day for ourselves, or all the guests that experience the day with us? Is it more about competing with the Jones’ that make this industry continue to balloon? Whatever happened to going to a church, or a park, or the beach, with some friends and family, saying your vows, and eating some food? Does spending as much as a good portion of a house make the marriage start off in a better way?

A wedding can be beautiful, it can be done in an elegant, classy, and inexpensive way. There are infinite ways to bring two lives and two families together without having to spend so much money. I get concerned that many of these weddings are either sending the parents who might be paying into an extreme amount of debt, effecting their future retirement, or that the couples themselves are going into major debt. Why start a marriage on an unstable financial foundation? Yes, maybe I am completely wrong and most weddings have been saved and paid for, but if wedding payment is anything like how our society lives on a regular basis, than most go on credit cards, only to incur a hefty APR and payments for many, many years to come.

Instead, how about starting a marriage on stable ground? Have the wedding you can afford, pay for it immediately, and continue to live your life accordingly. So I will say again: Why do we spend so many months and years planning for a day, when really we should be planning for our life?

Fight for it. Bring it.

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Over the weekend I was penciling in my calendar a friend’s art show coming up in June. I decided to check out the website of the gallery where her show will be held and found this show. What a clever idea, be sure to click the show link for a full image. I have included a bit of the text here as it is hard to read on the left side of the photo:

WHAT DO YOU FIGHT FOR? Whether it’s in a cage, for the rights of others, or just for her attention, we are all fighting for something

I fight for _______

It made me think about and ponder what I fight for. What does it mean to fight for something? Do the people or things you fight for have levels or degrees to how much effort you give? Do some people receive the tall or grande effort while others might get the venti or Big Gulp? If there are ranges, then are you really fighting for those that only receive the grande effort? This is the list that came to me: 

I fight for: my husband, my family and friends, women’s rights, literacy, children to eat healthy and be active on a daily basis, integrity, an hour a day to run (= sanity), fairness, equality…the list goes on.

However, I am not sure my list should go on. If I were being honest with myself, my husband would receive the infinite beverage size of my energy. Mess with my husband and you have to deal with me. Yes, he can completely take care of himself, and does not need me to get involved, but that does not mean that my competitive, fighting self will not lose all control against someone who tries to mess with my better half. So does that mean I do not think that childhood obesity is not worth fighting for? No. It is about the effort I give out. I would go to combat to fight for my husband, and while I am passionate about childhood obesity, it is not the same level of fight that I would have for Chris.

Have you thought about which things in your life you want to fight for? When the opportunity presents itself, do you really fight for them?

Letter to Sheryl Sandberg

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I have not really followed Sheryl Sandberg (Facebook COO) or her new book that was just released. Last week on Facebook I saw this quote and had to share it. Maybe I like it because I was a bossy little girl. Go Sheryl.

Then I found this letter to Sheryl Sandberg from Daily Worth founder, Amanda Steinberg, and I had to share as I agree with the letter. In it, she mentions a TIME magazine cover story, where Sandberg says of her husband: “He manages our money,” she says. “I have essentially no interest.” (page 5 of the TIME article). This comment is what Steinberg is reacting to in her letter.

Each and every woman should have a stake in and understanding of their personal finances. It does not mean that we always understand everything 100%, but we should try. I know too many women, that make a good living and would willingly turn over their hard-earned income to the man in their life, because they do not understand how to manage their finances. Please stop.

I know that it might be the easy way out, but you are not doing yourself any service by giving your money over to the man in your life. You are giving away your power. I would be the first to say that I do not always understand each and every part of our finances or retirement accounts. There are often little details that confuse the crap out of me, but the key is that I try to make sense of it. I want to know. I do not give up my power to my husband. We share the responsibility of our finances and make each and every decision together.

So in light of Sheryl Sandberg, and her great success as a woman, I encourage all women out there regardless of income level to care about their finances. It does not mean that you have to manage your finances day-to-day, just care about understanding them. You might pay someone to manage your finances, your husband might handle them, but set up a time each week or month to review your finances with whoever is handling them. Make a point to understand how much you are spending, and how you are saving. If you do not, to me it is like having someone take care of your children, yet you do not know their style. Which means you do not really know what is happening, right? I agree with Steinberg, all women should feel confident managing their money so that they are able to live life on their own terms.

What do you think?