Stay out of it.

Posted by random olio

I was thinking the other day how easy it is to get sucked into other people’s drama. Whether they are having issues with their husband, are frustrated with a co-worker, or feel stuck in their job, it is easy to get pulled down with them. We cannot go there with them. What they need (and what we need if we are feeling similar) is to have someone stay strong and pull them out of the muck. Bring them over from negativity and poopiness to view the good that is happening in their life.

What came to me when I was thinking about this, was how I can stay strong and resilient in those moments, listen, be present, and share a good way to spin their situation. There is always a lawn that is greener, a life that looks more attractive, and a work environment that seems more perfect. Yet, most of us have so much good already right in front of us. We choose to not focus on it. We choose to look at the frustrating co-worker, the fights with our husband, or the dead-end job. I am not saying to not work through those things in your life, I just mean that when things feel shitty, be sure to focus on the good. It will get you through those times. Gratitude has an amazing effect on keeping us grounded and balanced.

Sometimes all it takes in those moments is to get quiet and stay focused on what is important on that day or in that moment. Sometimes my mantra is to remind myself: “Stay out of it.” There are times when it is easy to get pulled into the negativity and the drama, and when we know we just cannot help, we cannot get pulled in, that is when I tell myself to stay out of it. I try to not encourage a conversation, or ask leading questions. I stay focused on what I need to do, and where I need to focus. I know that sounds selfish, but sometimes we just need to have self-preservation to make it through the day.

What do you think?

Have you had a cronut?

Posted by random olio

I am intrigued. A colleague at work told me the other day about cronuts. They are a cross between croissants and doughnuts, or more specifically croissant dough fried like a doughnut. I do not have a sweet tooth. If there is such a thing as a salt tooth, that would be me. However, the cronut interests me. I would at least like to see if the craze is worth all the hype.

On different blogs and news sites, I found that they are selling for $5 a piece and Dominique Ansel Bakery in New York City is limiting the amount they can sell per customer. Another site says that Craigslist is selling them on the black market for 8 times the value – can you believe it? $40 a cronut. Dominique Ansel is now on the map as a bakery. I am sure they cannot keep up with the business they have acquired through their new invention. They will be what Magnolia Bakery was to cupcakes.

I even found that this blogger has come up with a recipe that takes Trader Joe’s croissants or chocolate croissants and turns them into a cronut at home concoction. While Dominique Ansel has only been selling them since May 10, if you do an Internet search you will see there is quite a bit of excitement in just the few weeks since they launched. There is even a website dedicated to cronuts.

I do not have plans to go to New York City anytime soon (although I would love to) so if anyone is going that way and then immediately coming back to Portland bring some back for me. Yum!

Cheating on our DVR

Posted by random olio

We have been cheating on our DVR this past month.

Not all DVRs are created equal. Some let you record a certain number of hours of television shows. If you decide you have to watch that show in high-definition then that means fewer hours available for other shows. Our current DVR allows us to record two shows at the same time, while also watching an already recorded show. What that means for us? We often have missed out on a good series and did not even know it because we were consistently addicted to season [fill in the number] of [fill in the show name].

Many of you may be fans of Netflix. We have not yet ventured into that avenue of endless hours of shows and movies. We might one day. I tell Chris that when we catch up on our DVR, we can think about Netflix. What is the second best thing to our DVR, and those of your that are Netflix fans? My local library. Call me a dork, but who cares! They are free, and all I have to do is be patient. The time I waited has finally come to fruition, as we have spent the last month watching season One and Two of: The Good Wife. How did I ever miss out on such a great show?

There were times growing up and after college when I thought I would go to law school. Somehow it never happened and I often think I would have been doomed if I forked over the cash, mostly because I hate reading fine print. So law school would have been like the hell of a privacy policy. I wanted to be a lawyer to help, but there was a small part of me that wanted to be a lawyer to duke it out in the courtroom. Which is why I really enjoy The Good Wife. Such good story lines, great courtroom, lawyer, and judge interactions, with a little romance to top it off. I actually think I like watching the episodes back-to-back rather than having to wait a week to find out what happens. Oh, and who does not like watching Chris Noth. (I am a Mr. Big fan).

While waiting for Season Three of The Good Wife to be available at the library, we started watching: The New Girl (Season One). I am not really a Zooey Deschanel fan, so I thought this show would be cheesy. I was wrong. The show is quirky, funny, and clever. I am a fan. I wish I had known about it earlier, as I saw yesterday that Season Two just finished. Guess I will have to wait a while to see it.

We will stop cheating on our DVR…soon.

Making sense of the world

Posted by random olio

We tell the stories of our lives to remember, laugh, and ponder where we have been and where we are going. We learn from each other, grow, and try not to make the same mistakes. Stories enrich us. We hear how someone else moves about the world, how they interact with their family and friends, and how they endure the good times and the bad. We laugh with them, we cry with them, and we relate in ways we sometimes cannot imagine.

I just finished reading: “If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother” by Julia Sweeney. If you are not familiar with Julia, she was “It’s Pat” on Saturday Night Live. Her book is a memoir and heavily focuses on her experience adopting a daughter from China. She is a blunt and humorous writer. I appreciated reading her book. It is just raw, real, and to the point. Her comments about telling stories resonated with me:

“I think my urge to perform, and specifically to perform true stories from my own life, is my way of coping. Just like alcohol is for some people. But the storytelling urge is not particular to the Irish. It’s in everyone. In fact it’s how our brains, every single one of our brains–not particular to any ethnicity–makes sense of the world. We tell ourselves how it all went, how this happened and how that happened and how it could happen in the future.” page 238

Is that what storytelling is for each of us? A litany of events, dates, and experiences that we tell as we make sense of the world? Yes, and so much more. I often write to make sense of my world. As the words come out of my fingertips I often connect thoughts and ideas and have aha moments. I realize what bothers me, find solutions to problems, and feel gratitude for the good parts of my day.

For me looking back at my past, at the stories of my life, help me to better understand myself and how I tick. Since both of my parents have passed on, and my grandparents are gone, I am on my own to put the pieces of my past together. I have asked my sister or brother how they remember an event, and yet their memory is much different from my memory of a specific event. That makes sense, as we each look out from our own perspectives. Since I cannot call my mom up and ask her about my first words, or how I handled a specific event in my life, I have to rely on my own memories. They may be flawed or off from the actual details but in the end, it is still the story I remember that has molded me into who I am today. As biased as my perspective might be, the feelings I had in each experience shaped how I handled future events.

Our story, our view on the world, is how we make sense and process who we are. Keep telling your story.

Were you raised on fairy tales?

Posted by random olio

I recently wrote about whether you should tell you kids about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. I wonder though about fairy tales. Are they different?

I do not remember my parents pushing fairy tales on me, but, I do remember reading my share of them. Did I believe them? I do not remember. I had an imagination as a kid, but I am not sure it was specifically from fairy tales, mostly I think my imagination because of the volume of books I read. I grew up without a television, so my life was interesting through what and where I explored outside, the individuals (they were characters!) I met on my paper route, and what I read in books. Sure I watched television and movies, but only at friend’s houses or when I stayed with my grandma.

The books that I read led me to write. I made up stories all the time. Whether they were good or not is another thing. I still have all of them, but have not snuggled on the couch with warm tea and pulled them out to go over what my little self wrote about. I am sure I will be amused. I can remember one was a mystery and had a detective, and another about a girl president. Who knows where I got those ideas. I am sure many of the books I read as a kid kindled that fire that made me want to write.

Which is why I liked this informative blog post about how great leaders are birthed from fairy tales. This post shares how exposure to fairy tales, means you just might be imaginative, have critical thinking skills, and are creative. It also shares the words of Albert Einstein:

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

I love it. For those of you that are parents out there, bring out the fairy tales. Allow your kids to ask questions, dream, and wonder about what is possible. You never know what Hansel and Gretel might mean for your adventurous son, and Cinderella for your beautiful daughter. I think fairy tales start conversations about what is true, what could be, and what should be. I never had those conversations with my parents, but hey maybe you will.