11 years of marriage. I cannot tell you that marriage is a perfect place. It is full of love, laughter, frustration, emotion, and so much more. I love almost every minute of it, because I am walking forward with Chris. More than being lovers and spouses we are best friends. A best friend that I can truly say anything to at any moment. He might not always like what comes out of my mouth, but at least it is the truth. Here are a few ideas of what I think are steps toward a happy marriage:
Go to bed together every night. If you cannot orchestrate that, then if one is going to bed before the other, come and tuck the other in. I know that might sound old school, or childish, but do it. It will make a difference. It is a way to connect at the end of a long day and allows your spouse to relax. Having said all that, Chris is the night owl and I rarely get to tuck him in. Better yet, what we often do is go to bed together, snuggle, and then the one that is not tired gets to read and/or catch up on episodes of their favorite TV show on the iPad. A win-win situation.
Tell each other what you think as much as possible.
Try not to snap or react. Sometimes we are grumpy, have a poopy day, and we snap. Okay to be fair, Chris is WAY more patient then I am, and I snap way more often than he does. Do not take it personally. You know when your pants feel too tight and you plop down on the floor of the closest ready to explode with tears? Be there for each other at those moments. I know, I know 99% of the time it is the woman sitting on the floor. So to all those husbands out there. Sit down next to your wife and listen to her emotions, her hormones. Just love her immensely on those days.
Eat together at your kitchen table. Do it without your iWHATEVER device, your DVR, or Netflix. Absorb those moments together. We do not do it often enough, but when we do if makes life feel so different. Sad, but true.
Communicate, communicate, communicate. Just because you might have been with and lived with someone for 1, 2, 5, 10, 20 years does not mean that you should ever stop communicating. I should have made this point first because to me it is by far one of the most important aspects of marriage. Talk it out. Share what is on your mind. Listen. Discuss and resolve.
A happy marriage. No prescription. Just start with respect, love, and a listening ear. It is all up to both of you.
It is Friday, it has been a long week, and I have a hunch we all need a good laugh. Somehow office banter, jokes, and odd behavior keeps the workday light and potentially fun. Chris and I have been catching up on our DVR and old Saturday Night Live episodes. Since the entire season had already recorded, we watched it backwards, and eventually got to the episode with Louis CK. I have always found him funny, and this particular skit made me laugh.
(Apologies for the ad that you have to allow to play before watching.)
Maybe it is not your kind of humor, but I had this strange desire to try to pull it off in the office for a day. My problem: I would not be able to keep a straight face, and would bust out laughing on my first try.
Have a wonderful long weekend (if you live in the US, and have Monday off).
Not all DVRs are created equal. Some let you record a certain number of hours of television shows. If you decide you have to watch that show in high-definition then that means fewer hours available for other shows. Our current DVR allows us to record two shows at the same time, while also watching an already recorded show. What that means for us? We often have missed out on a good series and did not even know it because we were consistently addicted to season [fill in the number] of [fill in the show name].
Many of you may be fans of Netflix. We have not yet ventured into that avenue of endless hours of shows and movies. We might one day. I tell Chris that when we catch up on our DVR, we can think about Netflix. What is the second best thing to our DVR, and those of your that are Netflix fans? My local library. Call me a dork, but who cares! They are free, and all I have to do is be patient. The time I waited has finally come to fruition, as we have spent the last month watching season One and Two of: The Good Wife. How did I ever miss out on such a great show?
While waiting for Season Three of The Good Wife to be available at the library, we started watching: The New Girl (Season One). I am not really a Zooey Deschanel fan, so I thought this show would be cheesy. I was wrong. The show is quirky, funny, and clever. I am a fan. I wish I had known about it earlier, as I saw yesterday that Season Two just finished. Guess I will have to wait a while to see it.