Opinion

Life size Barbie proportions

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I was a Barbie girl. I did not really play with dolls, or horses (except My Little Pony), or cars, or trains. I played with Barbies. I had about 12 of them (not sure if that is normal or not). I had a light pink Barbie corvette, a townhouse with an elevator that went up and down with a string pulley (it was the 80’s). I had the Barbie salon where you could use wash their hair, and color it using special “markers” that washed out later. They do not tell you that you can color Barbie’s hair, but you should never cut it (Barbie will never look the same again). I had exercise Barbie, ballroom Barbie, wedding Barbie and wedding Ken, I had bikini Barbie (she got the haircut), and a slew of others I do not remember. All of these were gifts given over many birthdays, and they were dearly loved.

I was reminded of my Barbie memories after a conversation at work yesterday that originated from superheros dimensions to Barbie dimensions. We then found the following article about if Barbie was life-size what would she actually look like. (For those of you that do not click the link you are missing out, it is quite shocking). The article explains that Barbie would be 5 foot 9 inches, weight 110 pounds, wear a size 3 shoe, a 39″ bust, 18″ waist, and 33″ hips. Gulp. So if you still have not clicked the link, do so now.

What is funny about my experience with Barbies (for those of you with young little girls) is I think playing with them got a lot of the girly stuff out of my system. I have a lot of friends that purposely ban Barbie and other toys that do not lead to positive images of women. Then those are the only toys they want. I do not know what I’ll do when I have kids. There is a part of me that thinks that I will feel the same way, that it will just be a yuck feeling I will have about any toys that do not lead to a positive, strong view of women. Having said all that, I loved playing with my Barbies and would beg my sister to play with me. Now I am starting to think that being all girly when I was young has meant I am not as girly now. So maybe it was not such a bad thing.

Regardless of if I got it out of my system, did I know at that age that Barbie was not anatomically correct? Probably not. However, I do think Mattel should fix Barbie so that she is more normal/true to real woman size. Convincing Mattel should not be that hard right? Ha.

Have a great weekend! Hope the sun is shining..

Are you the scary customer?

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I cannot say I am always the nicest customer. After working in customer service for so long I have a shorter fuse. I know what it takes and now have high expectations for what a customer experience should look like. These days my husband makes the calls pertaining to our accounts. He has a lot more patience than I do, and I often am – well to put it nicely a bit too blunt over the phone.

I recently finished reading: Malled: My Unintentional Career in Retail by Caitlin Kelly. It is a good memoir of Caitlin’s experience working in retail between 2007 and 2009. She is a freelance writer, who needed income during the economic downturn, and she chose to work at The North Face store near her home in New York City. Her job paid between $9-11 an hour with no commission or benefits (since she worked part-time). She was also provided a uniform for her job (many retail jobs do not provide this for free). Her book was a reminder to me to watch how I might treat retail workers, whether at the mall, grocery store, boutique, etc. Caitlin is a journalist so she already had experience working with strangers and the public, asking questions, and connecting with them. I loved her fresh approach to how she interacted with her customers. We could stand to remember this when dealing with our co-workers, family, and friends.

“I lived for these moments. Retail, at its rare best, allows total strangers to quickly connect and converse meaningfully. It’s really, often, about trust, the merchandise and the sales floor merely the means through which two people, however briefly, can slow down long enough to discover and enjoy common ground. It wasn’t an accident that after a twenty-minute conversation with me someone would easily spend $400, or much more. That person had received my careful, individual, and undivided attention, a rarity in any store. A rarity anywhere, really.” page 86

Throughout her book she shares how the corporate offices did all they could to cut back on their sales staff to save money. The less they paid their sales associates, the more profit they made. The less associates they had on each shift, the higher their profits. Many had little to no training, and no thanks or gratitude from management or the head corporate offices. Associates were constantly on their feet, in sometimes horribly ventilated storefronts, with short breaks, annoying music, and irate, rude, and aggressive customers. This all leads to extremely high turnover. By the end of Caitlin’s 2 year stint at The North Face she says the following:

“Now, though, I also carefully and consistently thanked anyone doing a service job well, from grocery baggers to gas station attendants. I viscerally appreciated how grim it could be, how little many customers thought of them, and how hard and poorly paid was the work.” page 205

I vow to curb my frustration, whether with the store, retail worker, or with something in my own life, and not take it out on the individual working in the store or over the phone that day. If we were all to do that, we could make a change in how retail workers experience customers. They do not deserve our frustrations, anger, or scorn. Often, the retail worker has no control over the issues we may have with their company. Much of the time, store management and corporate headquarters do not want to hear the complaints or comments their sales force has heard from customers. The best way to communicate issues that might be widespread between many stores is to contact the corporate offices to voice your concerns.

Are you like me? Do you need to think again about how you are treating retail workers?

Pay when you put yourself down?

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My sister recently posted this article to Facebook. It is a Huffington Post article titled: “How We’re Paying For Putting Ourselves Down (And Why We’ll Pay For You To Say Something Nice!)” (The Huffington Post link is not working, so the above link is from Stylelist). It is a great article. It really made me think. It discusses how women cut themselves down and say things like: “I feel so fat” (you know the list that goes on and on). If they say such things about themselves they have to put money in a jar. The article then suggests the money going to an organization that supports girls called: Girls, Inc. I am just as much to blame for saying such things to myself. I will need to start my own jar. Maybe I should add a jar for my bad language too.

It reminds me of something I think about often when I am around children, (little girls mostly but that does not mean it does not apply to little boys). You know when you first greet a little girl, and they are wearing the cutest dress? You say: “oh you look so cute” or “you are so pretty” or “what a pretty dress.” When you approach a little boy, do you comment on their appearance? I imagine it is much rarer. I read in a book a few months ago (and I wish I could remember which book) where the author discusses how she has changed her tune in talking to younger girls (more in the range of toddler age). The author gave an example of a time recently at a friend’s house where she was interacting with their young daughter. She was very careful not to comment on the girl’s clothes or appearance, but rather she got down on their level and asks them what they like to do. Saying something like: “Do you like to read?” The little girl got excited and answered in the affirmative. So this author said: “could you bring me your favorite book and read to me?” After spending some time together reading, the author said she acknowledged this young girl by saying what a great reader she was and discussing the ideas in the book. To her it felt like acknowledging this little girl for something she truly enjoyed, and not the dress she was wearing.

I have vowed to attempt that in my interactions with little ones (really it should be the same for boys too). However, I sometimes find it hard. Sometimes a little girl wants to talk to you about her dress, or the bows in her hair. She wants to show you her doll or how she knows how to brush the doll’s hair. So, in those cases I take the cues from the little girls, rather than putting the idea in their heads that what I notice and comment about them is their dress, or pretty curls. Although regardless of gender, I will call out when a child has a beautiful smile, because that is something we should never lose and I think acknowledging it matters.

My hope is that if we approach little girls differently, just maybe they will not need a “I Promise to Stop Saying Negative Things about my Body Jar.” Maybe they will be proud of their bodies, because we will raise them to focus on who they are and not by their looks, hair, and bodies.

Hopeful in Portland.

Do you watch Shark Tank?

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So I really like the show: Shark Tank, especially with the addition of Mark Cuban. I love the banter and the bluntness of the judges. Since I have always been interested in the entrepreneur side of things, it is intriguing to watch different business owners (although some just have an idea and not functioning businesses yet) try to tell their story, their idea, themselves, and the worthiness of their product or company. Some guests are spot on with their approach: their ideas are clever, their sales approach is solid, and they get the money they need and the right investor to support them. Others are horrible. I guess like American Idol, there has to be a few that just miss the mark (and sometimes horribly so).

The show always makes me think about how I would approach the Sharks, and what savvy way would I try to win them over? Of course I would need a great business or product idea, but so much of the sales pitch is in the story and the confidence in which it is presented. Each judge has their own interesting nuances that you get to know over time. Mark Cuban has become my favorite judge, he is a bit cocky, but will also put himself out there for someone he believes really works hard and will truly make him money on his investment. Not all the judges will put themselves out there like that.

If you do not watch, it airs on Friday nights, and you can probably multi-task a bit while you watch (check Facebook, knit that hat, give yourself a pedicure). Yes, even some of you men should be doting on your feet, why not while catching up on your DVR?

the 'largest' shark tank

Enjoy!

What? What? What? Would you share your Facebook + Email Passwords?

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I had a different blog post in my head today, and then I read this news article and I just was appalled. My two second recap of this news article is that job seekers are being asked to give their username and password for their Facebook and email accounts so that potential employers can look at their accounts and see if there are any issues they might need to be aware of. Definitely read the full CBS News article here as it gives the full context.

Personally I keep my Facebook profile private to my Facebook friends only. To me it is a conversation between me and those I decide I want to be friends with on Facebook. I have been specific about who I have accepted and who I have not. I do not accept requests from everyone that “Friends” me, although others might. If I specifically made my profile public than it is any potential employer’s decision if they want to google me, or look at my public Facebook profile. If I make it private, then I should not be out of the running for a job because I do not wish the company to invade my personal life.

To me it is an invasion of my privacy and a matter of principle. It is also an invasion of your friend’s privacy (email addresses, contact information, and content). I can assure you, I am not appalled by this because I have something to hide. I am appalled because of principle. As it is, the boundaries between professional and personal lives are narrowing. You can do a bulk of work transactions on your phone, or from home, blurring the lines between your day job and your personal life. Is it too much to ask to have a few places that are sacred for your personal life? Maybe at the office you are a manager with a principled and driven approach to managing your team, yet on Facebook a softer side of you shows with comments regarding friend’s babies. Maybe that is not the side of you, that you want the office to see, so you purposely did not friend folks from work so you could have a life and friends separate from work.

What will be next? Will employers ask for passwords for our checking accounts and our credit cards to see what we purchase? How about our library card accounts to see what we are reading? I have many issues with anyone asking for a password for any account. For one thing, many of us use the same password for multiple accounts, so how is it even legal to ask for this type of private information? Another issue I have, is where is the privacy of our personal lives? Does the potential employer need to know that your good friend just died and your Facebook friends have been consoling you? No. You might have been just trying to keep it together each day as you work through the loss of your friend. Is that the potential employers business? No. Why would it ever be okay for a potential employer to have access to your email account, where you may receive emails from your bank, credit card company, mom, sister, etc.?

Maybe what is needed is not so much focus on social media and job seekers, but for employers to hone the skills of those interviewing to be more savvy with their “reading people” skills to ask the right questions of the job seeker. The interviewer can work to get to know the job seeker as a person sitting in front of them, rather than spending their time focusing on what their friends might post on their Facebook wall. What did employers do before Facebook and Twitter? Has Facebook become such a view into a person, that it overpowers the skills and experience of the job seeker?

Please read today’s CBS article. For more information about legislation in Illinois, here are more details, and in Maryland, here are more details. Both states are working to pass legislation that would bar employers from requesting usernames and passwords to job seeker’s social media profiles. More states should be passing this type of legislation. We deserve more privacy. Job seekers should not be put in a position that they feel awkward and withdraw their application or that they willingly go along with such invasion of privacy because they have mouths to feed at home.

Still appalled in Portland.

UPDATE ON 3/23/2012: Facebook has released comments urging employers not to ask for passwords.