Savor every conversation bite

Posted by random olio

I am always late. I could barely get out the door in the morning if Chris did not say: “I have your bag, phone, etc.” and “We need to leave in 5 minutes” in order to get to his or my first meeting. I do not remember always being late as a kid or even the first few years of my professional life. (Maybe someone from my past can tell me if they remember otherwise). I think I know why I am late for a few reasons. What I do not know is how to redirect myself so I am on time.

Feeling rushed for me in the morning is because there is always one more thing I can do. Respond to another email, or text, or just one more turn of Words with Friends. It might be because I feel uncomfortable and decide to change my outfit at the last possible minute, or I am having a bad hair day and it is taking just a bit longer to tame the mane. So you can see that there are a lot of competing priorities that make it challenging for me to leave the house!

I also have back-to-back meetings on many days of the week, and when one goes over it often creates a domino effect for the rest of my day. However, sometimes one meeting goes over because I am engrossed in a conversation with someone, I am focused on the issue at hand, and want to continue to listen. So does that make it bad for me to be late? Over the holiday I finished reading “Bittersweet” by Shauna Niequist, and while I jotted down quite a few quotes I would love to share, this one is so me:

“I want to really notice each meal, each bite, each conversation, instead of shoving food in my mouth, running out the door, promising someone we’ll connect again soon. I can always tell I’m on thin ice when my list of promises becomes way too long. I have so many intentions and plans, but I lose the ability to listen, to stay, to connect. I’ve been more ravenous and gluttonous than I’m proud of. Less is more is a great idea, but you wouldn’t know that from my calendar.” Page 168

I often have too much on my to-do list, eat lunch while working at my desk, and end up sucking the life out of my day. My first desire to is to be present with the other individual(s), listen to the topic, and find solutions or next steps, but as Niequist says are we really savoring each bite and each comment in our conversations? Is being late bad? Or do we need to shrink our to-do lists, do less and be more?

What do you think?

Moments of bliss

Posted by random olio

Most of you have either headed back to work, or will be starting back at the office today after a holiday break. That might be a bittersweet moment. Maybe you love your job, but you also love time with your family and friends, and maybe also a bit of time with your butt on the couch catching up on movies, football, and a little HGTV. As we start into this new year, where you think, “I am going to live my life just a bit differently this time,” think about the precious time you might have had over the holidays. Maybe you had a day off, or a week, or two weeks. Whatever amount of time you had to do whatever you wanted, cherish it. As you get pulled into your fast paced life where sometimes you feel like the wheels will spin-off, try to take a moment, slow down and remember this quieter time.

I recently found this quote from author Jonathan Carroll. I did not read one of his books, but found it online a few weeks ago. I have always loved the word bliss. That perfect moment when you go ah, this is the life. It does not always have to be when you are on vacation, or have down time. Maybe it is that moment of quiet when you put your feet up after getting your kids to bed, or maybe it is after giving a presentation that you know you nailed, or maybe it is as you slide into a hot bubble bath.

“One of the saddest realities is most people never know when their lives have reached the summit. Only after it is over and we have some kind of perspective do we realize how good we had it a day, a month, five years ago. The walk together in the December snow, the phone call that changed everything, that lovely evening in the bar by the Aegean. Back then you thought “this is so nice”. Only later did you realize it was the rarest bliss.”

If only we could bottle those moments, and on our toughest days open the bottle for seconds to be reminded of the smell, sound, and taste of that moment. Just to tell us life is good, that it does have moments of bliss. While we cannot bottle them, we can hold on to those rare moments. It is a new year, month, day. Just like we did for 2013, Chris and I are going to keep our jar out for “Good things that happened in 2014.”

Want to join us, so you can look back at your moments of bliss?

New, new, and new

Posted by random olio

I love new beginnings. Maybe we are not all this way, but I think somewhere deep inside we at some point like when something is new. I love starting a new pen, a new journal, wearing a new item of clothing. There is something special about it. It is a first chance. It has not been effected by other people’s opinions or negativity. It is just new. How about a new job, the new house, or car? It is like you get to start over. Those of course are the bigger ticket items, which is why maybe a new pen or journal brings a smile to my face.

There is always the intent to have better handwriting in that journal, or to never lose that pen. Often our best intentions do not go as we plan, but I think those best intentions lead us in a direction to care more, be more present, and appreciate the little things in life. Oh, about new beginnings…do you know when a word or idea comes to you in different threads all in a short period of time? I am sure it is because of the New Year, but the idea of “new beginnings” has continued to find its way to me these past few weeks. I saved a few of the ideas. One is from Rainer Marie Rilke, who really needs no introduction:

“And now let us believe in a long year that is given to us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been.”

The other was a memoir I finished a few days ago called: “The Yarn Whisperer” by Clara Parkes:

“Beginnings are beautiful things. They’re the tank full of gas and the open road, a brand new notebook and a freshly filled pen. Reality hasn’t had time to intrude. All you see is the vast and exciting opportunity that lies ahead.” Page 81

I love that Parkes has the same thoughts on pens and journals. I had not thought about a tank full of gas and the open road but I can visualize it. Here is to new beginnings. A new year. A fresh look on life. Hopefully each of you have had at least a bit of down time to recharge and look freshly at your life as you start the New Year.

I decided to start out 2014 with a new look for random olio. It is something I have wanted to do for a while, and somehow yesterday it all came together. A new beginning just before random olio turns 2.

Lessons come when we are open

Posted by random olio

There are a few authors that I have read every book they have written, and a few of them I have had the pleasure of seeing in person. Ann Patchett is one of those authors. Her new book: “This is the Story of a Happy Marriage” is a book that is not in the usual realm of her writing. It is a compilation of articles she has written over the years, many that were published in magazines. While they are each stories that were written years apart, her writing, story, and life are weaved so well together that they flow so beautifully, you would have thought they were written together on purpose.

You learn about her younger years and the oddity of her childhood, about taking care of her grandma, about her early years of writing, her dogs, her marriages, and the ups and downs of a writer’s life. Her other books are novels, ones that once you open and get into the story, you are a goner. You might as well know that after the first few pages, you’ll be snuggling on the couch for the long haul. Cancel any plans that you have made, you will not want to put any of her novels down.

Patchett does have a memoir “Truth and Beauty” that is about her life with her best friend and author, Lucy Grealy, yet “This is a Story of a Happy Marriage” goes deeper in many more aspects of her life and she communicates many ideas that resonate on marriage, family, and the writing life. This idea particularly stood out to me about openness:

“It’s a wonderful thing to find a great teacher, but we also have to find him or her at a time in life when we’re able to listen to and trust and implement the lessons we are given. The same is true of the books we read. I think that what influences us in literature comes less from what we love and more from what we happen to pick up in moments when we are especially open.” Page 33

This happens so often for me. I gravitate towards a book and I am not sure why, and then as I begin to read and absorb the ideas shared, I gradually, page by page learn a bit more about myself. You know the books that do that for you. The ones with a plethora of highlighted, dog-eared, or post-it note adorned pages all with ideas that you want to remember, cherish, or share with another individual. This book did that for me. Her story and life experience made me think about my life experience and story and I found myself jotting down notes of special moments from my life that I want to put on paper.

I encourage you to read “This is the Story of a Happy Marriage.” It is slow in the beginning and takes a bit more to get into than her novels, but once you get to know her a bit more I know you will find a few morsels to take away.

Got nerve?

Posted by random olio

Recently I finished reading the book: “Some Nerve: Lessons Learned While Becoming Brave” by Patty Chang Anker. It was a good book and reminder of how little we take risks, and how often we stay trapped by our fears. It made me think about what I am holding inside that I need to let go, release, and no longer have as part of my life.

The author talks about her fears, as basic as riding a bike, to swimming in the ocean, and going surfing. Whatever the fear might be, Anker tries to look fear in the face and bravely take a stand. She does it for herself, she does it for others, and she does it so that she can raise her kids without inheriting her fears. Seems simple right? Yes and no. I love this idea she shared:

“Inhale what you need, exhale what you don’t. I teach my yoga students all the time. The lesson is both literal and figurative. We take in life-giving air and let go of toxic waste every moment we’re alive. I’m finally applying this in daily decisions, keeping what nourishes and releasing the rest. Taking responsibility for what I can. Surrendering the things I can’t. Living with palms open.” Page 51

Letting go of toxic moments can change our life. I love the thought to keep what nourishes and release the rest. If we have the courage to take a stand and say what is on our mind, we can keep ourselves intact. It is not easy, but it is imperative to ensure that we keep the integrity of who we are each and every day. I am in, are you?

#gotnerve?