Tell someone you love them.

Posted by random olio

Feeling vulnerable. Feeling safe. Which one drives the choices you make on a day-to-day basis? Over the past ten years I have gone from being guarded, closed, and keeping things inside, to being so transparent I probably make others wince. I have no filter, and say what is on my mind. Yet, I know there are people in my life that I do not tell enough how much they mean to me, and how much I love them.

I did not grow up in a lovey-dovey house. In his final few years my dad was a hugger, but it erked me. I could not remember him being like that when I was a kid, and he had so much anger and depression stored inside him I did not know if the hugs were genuine, or if it was his way to try to keep what was left of our family together. What is funny about growing up in an environment of non lovey-doviness, is that it is harder for me to be that way with family (of course with the exception of Chris and I imagine my future little ones). My future little one(s) most likely will get annoyed with my over the top, make sure they know I love them, gushy momness.

Yes, I am going to share another quote from “Bread & Wine” because it is just a great, wholesome book. Her thoughts on love and vulnerability made me think and ponder. It made me question why I sometimes hold my family a bit of a distance away, and why it is easier for me to bring friends, colleagues, and others to a closer distance. I am not going to tell you my findings, as I think they are still percolating within my thoughts, but wanted to share this quote in hopes that it might inspire you to think about those moments that happen where you can tell those close to you why you love them, and why they matter in your life.

“The heart of hospitality is creating space for these moments, protecting that fragile bubble of vulnerability and truth and love. It’s all too rare that we tell the people we love exactly why we love them—what they bring to our lives, why our lives are richer because they’re in it. We do it best, I think, with our nuclear family—most of us tell our children and spouses how much we love them easily and often.” Page 176

We do not solve our insecurities all at once in life, but I appreciate when the thoughts from an author or friend encourage us to look freshly at our life each day and find how we can do one little thing to pull apart the onion layers of our vulnerability, our fears, and our past issues, and look a little more closely at who we are and what scares us. Hopefully, it makes our life richer, more vibrant, lively, and connects us to what matters most.

#tellsomeoneyoulovethem

Unapologetically herself.

Posted by random olio

Ah, I found a quote that I love, love, love.

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” ― Steve Maraboli

Thank you to catscaffeinecake for sharing this quote on your blog. It makes me smile, and it makes me relish being a woman, and having no qualms whatsoever for being myself. There was a time in my life when I was more introverted, occasionally quiet, and not so excited to talk about my life. Now I imagine Chris is often wondering when I am going to shut up. Although when I am quiet, I think it makes him squirm a bit. Why? Because he loves when I am unapologetically myself, loudness and all.

A colleague recently told me my nickname should be Tami without the “A”, so TMI (too much information). He is right. I probably do go overboard with sharing whatever is on my mind. I do not have a filter, and definitely know that there are some situations when I should keep my mouth shut. There are other situations when I feel so comfortable, that I do not censor myself and I am sure that those around me are sometimes shocked with what comes out of my mouth.

What if everyone was unapologetically themselves? Would we trust others more because we knew that they were being completely transparent with us? No games played, just each of us being true to ourselves and those around us. We would all be more comfortable with each other, not worried about our flaws or inadequacies, with little care to what others thought.

I think when others are unapologetically themselves it is attractive. What do you think?

Mmm…crispy.

Posted by random olio

Blueberry Crisp. Yes, I know there are a ton of blueberry crisp recipes out there that are to die for, but I have found one that seems to be as healthy as you can get. The one ingredient that may be the most sinful is maple syrup.

Last week I told you about one of my favorite books of 2013, “Bread & Wine” by Shauna Niequist. Over the weekend I made her Blueberry crisp recipe (which is vegan, gluten-free, and sugar-free). It is amazing. Some blueberries, nuts, oats, olive oil, and maple syrup and tada! Bliss. I have to say there is a little bit left, and as I write this I want to quietly creep upstairs and finish it without Chris hearing me. Or, I could take the remaining blueberries (not enough for a full recipe) and divide out what I need to make another small batch tonight.

What I loved when I read the background about this recipe is that she used to make it every Sunday night for her family, no other meal, no veggies, just the Blueberry crisp over homework. Wow. She even mentions on her blog that it is suitable for breakfast, and it really is just like having granola and fruit, warmed. I wanted to share a quote from the beginning of “Bread & Wine” as it made me think about what I might want for my last supper meal, right now that Blueberry crisp would be on the list, with some goat cheese in almost any form, caramel, french fries (freshly made, with a grazing of salt)…oh this could lead to a totally different blog:

“For the record, my last-supper meal looks a bit like this: first, of course, ice-cold champagne, gallons of it, flutes catching the candlelight and dancing. There would be bacon-wrapped dates oozing with goat cheese, and risotto with thick curls of Parmesan and flecks of black pepper. There would be paper-thin pizza with tomatoes and mozzarella and slim ribbons of basil, garlicky pasta and crusty bread and lots of cheeses, a plumy pinot noir and maybe a really dirty martini, because you might as well go big on your last night on earth. There would be dark chocolate sea salted toffee and a bowl of fat blackberries, and we’d stay at the table for hours and hours, laughing and telling stories and reaching for one more bite, one more bite.” Page 12-13

Here is Shauna Niequist’s Blueberry Crisp recipe:

4 cups blueberries (or any fruit, really)

Crisp topping:

1 cup old fashioned oats

½ cup pecans

½ cup almond meal (available at Trader Joe’s, Whole Foods, health food stores, or made by putting almonds in food processor until fine, but before they turn to almond butter)

¼ cup maple syrup

¼ cup olive oil

½ tsp salt

Instructions

Pour four cups fruit into 8×8 pan. Spread crisp topping over the fruit. Bake at 350 degrees 35-40 minutes, or longer if topping and fruit are frozen, until fruit is bubbling and topping is crisp and golden.

Serves 4

Just right now.

Posted by random olio

I do not often watch a television show or movie without multi-tasking. I often get bored or distracted easily. So when I watched “Hit and Run” this weekend and did not multi-task, I was a bit miffed. It is not a movie I would have thought would have sucked me in. It did not get that many ratings, and does not have this amazing story line either. What intrigued me? That Dax Shephard wrote, acted, produced, and directed this movie.

I am always a bit impressed when a movie has been someone’s life and baby. Just like “Garden State” and Zach Braff, had me at hello. You will know most of the individuals in the cast. They are all friends of Shephard. They do their own stunts. The cars are his own. He financed it on his own too. I wanted to see what it was all about, and while not Oscar worthy, it was a good and entertaining movie.

Maybe I liked it because it was the perfect mix of car action with a little bit of the relationship world. A great mix for a couple and a night of movie watching. Two of my favorite quotes from the movie… The first one he says to his girlfriend a few times throughout the movie. It is his signature way to calm her down. I like it.

“Close your eyes and take three deep breaths…This is the only moment you need to worry about. No yesterday. No tomorrow. Just right now. You’re not late for anything. You aren’t going to miss anything. You are exactly where you are supposed to be and you are exactly who you are supposed to be. You are absolutely perfect and whatever happens today is exactly what is supposed to happen and if you want, I will spend every moment with you for the rest of your life.”

“This car is tits.”

“Hit and Run” might not be the best movie, but it will entertain and make you laugh. It made me appreciate movies that are not made with millions of Hollywood dollars. Just some money, good talent, and a story. What a novel idea…

The secret to a full life…

Posted by random olio

I am a people person. I watch a room. I watch how one person treats another person. Are they paying attention? Are they distracted? Do they care about the conversation? It gets harder and harder these days to stay focused on life. Our pockets vibrate or beep to tell us that someone wants our attention. Is the conversation we are having more important than the vibration in our pocket? Who wins?

I recently came across this Anaïs Nin quote:

“The secret of a full life is to live and relate to others as if they might not be there tomorrow, as if you might not be there tomorrow.”

What if we did that each day? What if we approached every conversation as if it were the last one, for us or the individual(s) speaking to us. Would we be more focused, and care less about the beeps and vibrates from our phones? Would it mean that we would get down on all fours and play more with our kids, pay attention to a friend on the phone, or to our spouse when they walk in the door at the end of the day? Would it mean we would be kinder to the cashier, or the driver going slow in front of us?

Anaïs Nin goes on to say:

“This thought has made me more and more attentive to all encounters, meetings, introductions, which might contain the seed of depth that might be carelessly overlooked.”

What if being more focused in that conversation meant the other person felt more loved? Would that be so bad? What if you got to know them better, and a friendship blossomed? Most of the time I can tell if the person I am talking to is paying attention and focused on our conversation. When I find that they are not, I pull back. Why? There is no point putting myself out there if the other person does not want to be part of the conversation. It is not worth the energy. I am going to try to focus on others more and dig deep.

#AnaïsNingratitude