Giggles In Heaven

Posted by random olio

On Monday I wrote about the book: “It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita” by Heather Armstrong in this blog post. The blog I wrote was more on the funny and painful aspects to motherhood. Today I wanted to share the awww moments of motherhood. The parts that make you cling to your spouse with gratitude for this little life you brought into the world.

“The best part of my day was when Jon carried Leta back to the changing table after her bath, and she’d lay there wrapped in the towel, her hand shoved as far as she could get it into the back of her mouth. He’d lean down and pretend to eat her neck, causing her to laugh. And she laughed for him like she laughed for no one else, a full-body laugh that shook her belly and caused her to let go of her hand for a second. Her giggles would fill the house and echo through the baby monitor into the living room and out to the street. I imagined that those echoing giggles were what the background music in heaven sounded like.” Page 159

Aww. Giggles in heaven. I love the laughter and absolute uncontrollable giggle of a baby or toddler. You can continue to repeat what you are doing over and over again to have that same gut laughter continue. It. Is. The. Best. Thing. Ever. And then Heather talks about the love for her spouse, Jon:

“In him I’d found the person whom I knew I would never get tired of, even in the most monotonous of times, even in the routine of being together every single day. I never thought I would find that.” Page 237

This is how I feel about Chris. Even if he is on the iPad dreaming about our future, and I am pounding out my next blog post on my laptop, while watching Michael Phelps swim the last Olympic event of his career, we are hanging out together. We look up and smile at each other and go back to our respective activities, my legs sprawled out on top of him. Aww the life. Can you tell how addicted I am to my husband? We live our life with giggles and laughter and maybe one day we will share those gut deep giggles with a little one. (Can you tell I am thinking very seriously about it!)

Again, I say, read Heather’s book. It is worth it. Okay I am done touting her book. You will not hear another peep about it.

Cheeseburgers and Staples

Posted by random olio

I just finished reading: “It Sucked and Then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita” by Heather Armstrong. I could not stop saying: “Chris, Chris, I have to read this to you.” I might have to write about this book a few times because of just how blunt and hilarious Heather writes. Sometimes it is that potty humor that makes her funny, and sometimes it is in that I-relate-that-would-be-me kind of way.

In her book she takes you from trying to conceive, to her pregnancy, to the first 9 months of her baby girl’s life. She talks about her struggles with staying sane (literally) and what moms go through to not lose it. Maybe I can relate more right now because I am thinking so much about motherhood, but if you are a mother, or are thinking about taking that step, or just want a good laugh, then read on.

“An then, in what was one of the most memorable moments of the pregnancy, the ultrasound technician pointed to an unrecognizable shadow on the monitor and said, “See that cheeseburger? That means it’s a girl.” And then he circled her cheeseburger for emphasis. Jon had been holding my hand to give me strength to hold my pee, but right then he let go and cupped his tear-stained face, “You have a very important job,” he said, looking at me with the eyes I had fallen in love with. “You’re going to have to teach our daughter about her cheeseburger.” Page 39

I love this. It just made me smile. The next excerpt I want to share has to do with breast-feeding and what it feels like for a woman to breast feed. Men, yes please keep reading. I think it is worth it for you to know her explanation. Not that you do not respect women for what they have to go through to breast feed a child, but her description I think will take your respect to a new level.

“The only way to describe it to a man is to suggest that he lay out his naked penis on a chopping block, place a manual stapler on the sacred helmet head, and bang it a couple hundred staples. The first two staples might hurt a little, but after that it just becomes numb, right? And by the eighty-eighth staple you’re like, AREN’T YOU FULL YET? But then the comparison really fails because a man doesn’t have two penises, and after stapling the first boob the baby moves again on to the other boob and the happy stapling begins ALL OVER AGAIN.” Page 83

I have more to share, but I think I will save it for another post. The other ideas are more for the soft side of parenting, but I thought I would first start with cheeseburgers and staples. Go. Read. Her. Book.

Delicious Ambiguity, 4-H, and Aprons

Posted by random olio

I love finishing a good book. It always inspires me of the possibilities of what has not been written. Since each of us have such an individual experience there are infinite outputs to what can be encapsulated in new books. So when I find one that leaves a smile on my face and a bit of inspiration in my life, I have to share!

“Apron Anxiety” by Alyssa Shelasky is a memoir about a woman who falls in and out and in love with food. Her book is not entirely about food, and it is not written in a way that makes you feel like she is a die-hard foodie either. It is perfect for those of us that tread on the perimeter of food and the foodie world. She starts out as many might, timid. She eventually jumps in with her entire soul. What it did for me was make me want to TRY. While I am a confident baker, I am not a confident cook. When I was young I was in 4-H. Yes, the summer program that makes you think of raising cattle and pigs. For me it meant summers learning how to sew and bake. It was just something I did. I do not think I knew whether it was cool or not to be part of 4-H. I rode my bike to a local high school, daily for a few weeks and learned, tried, laughed, and made new friends while exploring an oven and the frustrations of a sewing machine.

I have not forgotten those summers. The baking programs I was involved in meant I learned over the course of five summers to make cookies, muffins, cakes, breads and yeast rolls. For sewing, I learned how to hem, make darts, button holes, hook and eyes, zippers, skirts, tops, dresses, etc. While I do not make my clothes, I still remember how. What has stuck with me the most is what I learned baking. “Apron Anxiety” has made me want to try to tread water in the world of cooking. I had a thought last week, that just maybe if I one day am preggers and at home with a little one, that I might want to try my hand at cooking. Here is my setback. I have horrible timing. I can make a lot of things in the kitchen. What I fail at is making them ready at the same time. If I steam broccoli, it is never ready when my entrée is ready. So that is my test. Can I find a way to time things so that I can make the parts of a meal ready to savor at the same time?

Here are two of the quotes in “Apron Anxiety” that really resonated with me:

“I will always meet people who don’t like me, or don’t get me, who think I’m dressed like a high-class hooker or raised by wolves. But as all women I’ve ever admired would say, “At least you’re interesting enough that someone gives a shit.” Which reminds me: There will always be people who think I’m not interesting enough at all.” page 226

“Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it…Delicious ambiguity.” page 236 (a Gilda Radner quote)

I definitely recommend adding “Apron Anxiety” to your list of books to read. It is a fun, light-hearted, and inspiring read! Here is to starting my future delicious ambiguity and to hell with those that do not think I am interesting!

Are you a DINK? Or a DEWKs?

Posted by random olio

I think we have all heard of the term DINK, which is an acronym for: dual income no kids. Until recently I had not heard of the term DEWKs: dually employed with kids or SITCOM: single income, two children, oppressive mortgage. Right now I am feeling for the SITCOM, at least the OM part. All these acronyms come from the many ideas I read in: “All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending” by Laura Vanderkam.

She mentions talking to your children about money, and making it part of their upbringing. I do not have children yet, but I have a feeling that my kids will think I am like a broken record, because I will definitely be teaching them about money just as I will teach them about respect, love, trust, the list goes on. I want them to feel comfortable talking about money. I like what the author says in the following quote about an internal locus of control. This allows kids to chart their own course and work hard on their own merits. I know it has always felt nice when I have attained something on my own, rather than on the shirt tails of another.

“The best thing we can do for our kids, economically, is to teach them to be entrepreneurial. A big chunk of this is helping them develop an internal locus of control–that is, the belief that they are responsible for making their way in the world. No one is going to hand them a job or an opportunity. They will have to seek it out.” page. 139

Another ideal that I would like my kids to see me follow is that we are living within our means. I want to show them, whether with our own finances or with examples, how it is possible to live within your means based on choices that we make. I have seen so many horror stories on Oprah and other shows about parents that give their children everything they want and are not even remotely able to pay for it. To me this is “keeping up with the Jones.” Laura says that children’s mindsets are shaped between 8 and 12 years old.

“Talk about why a lower interest rate on a mortgage matters in terms of monthly payments, and if you’re working extra hours to afford a particular vacation or to get out of debt, make sure they see the connection. Keep in mind that in a cashless culture, kids may have a harder time grasping what money really is.” page 213

It should mean that children will have more respect for their parents and the material possessions they do have, and hopefully connect the dots to see all that a parent is doing to provide for their children. I can understand parents wanting to protect or shield their kids from knowing if things are tight, or that their financial situation is dire, however, I think it is possible to educate without instilling fear.

“If your children see you paying your bills on time, living on less than you make, and putting money away for the future, this becomes the norm. If your young children have savings accounts and simply learn that a percentage of birthday and holiday money always goes there, this will be an incredibly difficult habit to break later on. Saving will feel like brushing their teeth.” page 212

She also tells us to let children fail, that we should teach our kids the “value of the dollar.” She says to encourage children to figure out their values about money (and that means we should probably know ours). I learned my values about money the hard way. I had many jobs during college, juggling them to pay for school, while also babysitting on the side. Some friends got to sleep in and take classes all day (or have just 3 classes all day and that was all they were responsible for). I was in a work/study program and then worked extra on the side so I could go out and have a little spending money for food or a movie with friends. I definitely did not take what I earned for granted, I worked hard to pay for school, and knew what an opportunity my college education was for me.

So regardless of if you are a DINK, DEWK, or SITCOM, what are your money values?

Read A Book A Day

Posted by random olio

I just finished reading the book: “Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World” by Lisa Bloom. Near the end of the book Lisa mentions Nina Sankovitch in a section on reading. Lisa talks about how important reading is for women, and shares Nina’s website and a bit about her story. Nina decided back in 2008 to read a book a day (of normal length, 200-350 pages). I read a lot of books a year, but I do not know how it is possible to read one a day. I am completely impressed. On Nina’s website, she shares a list of places you can read (which is how she read a book a day). Here are a few places that I read:

in the car when Chris is driving
in the car when I pick him up from work and I am waiting for him
while I blow dry my hair
when I sit outside in the summer and enjoy the sun
while I run
sometimes just before bed
if we are watching a movie and I am half watching it because it is not that great of a movie
in the bathroom (of course – who does not)

A few more from Nina’s site, her list starts with “Always have a book with you.”