Women

Find my husband… app

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A colleague was recently telling me about an iOS app that was pulled from the iTunes store called: “Find my husband.” Apparently it was pulled for privacy issues. The intent of the app was that a wife (or I guess a husband too) could install this app on their husband’s phone and then be able to track their whereabouts whenever they wished. So if they called or texted their husband and they said oh I am just leaving work, and the app shows that they are nowhere near work, they would catch them lying.

I find such an app strange. It undercuts the entire idea of integrity and trust. I guess I feel that way because I know and trust my husband, but I suppose I can slightly understand why someone freaked out that their husband is cheating on them might install this app. Apple removed it from the iTunes store for privacy issues, but it looks like it is still available for Android users.

Having said all that, I am still a bit flabbergasted by this app. Of course there are times when I might want to know where Chris is, but not to track him down because I do not trust him, more because I want him safe. I can call him or text him to see where he is, and ask if all is okay. Couples need to tell each other the truth. If a spouse is cheating, be honest about it or leave the relationship. What has the world come to that our smart phones are now filling in as undercover detectives in our lives? Instead have the tough conversations.

I can understand the “Find my kids” app, but is the Find my husband app going a little too far?

My thoughts of what a man thinks…

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I had drinks with some friends on Friday night. We were laughing and joking around about men and women. Eventually we ended talking about randomolio.com. Someone said to me, I wonder what you would say if you wrote about “What a man thinks…”

It made me chuckle. It made me think about a conversation at work a few weeks ago, where a few of us were answering the question, if you had any superpower what would it be? I answered: reading people’s minds. Yes, I know what you might be thinking. That would be annoying, chaotic, and people would stop wanting to be around me if they knew. I have thought often about that superpower, because so often I find that people do not really say what they are thinking. Ever thought of that? As a woman do you wonder what a man is thinking at a given moment? As a man, I am sure you wonder all that is going through a woman’s mind.

Now back to men. Do they say what they are thinking? Yes, and no. I cannot make a blanket statement for all men, but the ones I have watched throughout my life, well I have found that they say what they are thinking when they feel safe, or powerful, or comfortable, or when there is actually something on their mind. See it really depends on the dynamics in a room, and it ALWAYS matters if there is something going on in their mind.

I have learned with Chris, if there is an issue that bothers me enough when he brings it up, that over time he stops bringing it up (word of note to other women). I have also learned that unlike a woman, there are always times when there is nothing going on inside that male mind. A woman, well that is a different story. The electrical outlets are always in use. There is always some thought process happening, but when you ask a man what is going on up there, there are times when literally nothing is happening. Ever heard of: The Nothing Box? If not, you will want to watch (apologies for the horrible, blurry YouTube video, the audio is what really matters).

What do you think?

If you do not wear a wedding ring, why not?

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I grew up thinking that men did not wear wedding bands, that it was something only women wore. My dad was in construction and never wore his wedding band. Maybe it was because of the safety aspect, maybe not. Eventually I think he stopped wearing a wedding band because it no longer fit and maybe it was not important enough to him to have it sized correctly.

While talking to a colleague at work this week we somehow came to the conversation of wondering why do some folks who are married not wear a wedding ring? It prompted some questions. Do you not want others to know you are married? Does it no longer fit? Do you dislike the ring you were given? Does it bother you to wear a ring on any finger? Do you play with it, and twist it around your ring finger, thus it is better left at home? (Is it not interesting that it is called the ring finger?) Whatever the reason, we began talking at length about individuals we knew that did not wear a ring. Were they really married? Some we did not know the answer. Others we knew did not wear a ring, but we knew were happily married.

I do believe that our society has over sensitized wedding rings, diamonds, the money involved with purchasing rings, etc. So is wearing a ring still sacred? Does it matter? If you are married, do you cherish wearing a ring? I do. I feel naked without my wedding ring. I look at it often throughout the day. When my hands are cold and it slides around, or on hot days it may feel tighter. It is a wonderful reminder of Chris, and the vows we took together over ten years ago. By the way, I still have my dad’s wedding band, it sits in a box of memorabilia.

So, if you are a man or a woman and do not wear your wedding ring, is there a reason why? I am curious.

Unapologetically herself.

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Ah, I found a quote that I love, love, love.

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” ― Steve Maraboli

Thank you to catscaffeinecake for sharing this quote on your blog. It makes me smile, and it makes me relish being a woman, and having no qualms whatsoever for being myself. There was a time in my life when I was more introverted, occasionally quiet, and not so excited to talk about my life. Now I imagine Chris is often wondering when I am going to shut up. Although when I am quiet, I think it makes him squirm a bit. Why? Because he loves when I am unapologetically myself, loudness and all.

A colleague recently told me my nickname should be Tami without the “A”, so TMI (too much information). He is right. I probably do go overboard with sharing whatever is on my mind. I do not have a filter, and definitely know that there are some situations when I should keep my mouth shut. There are other situations when I feel so comfortable, that I do not censor myself and I am sure that those around me are sometimes shocked with what comes out of my mouth.

What if everyone was unapologetically themselves? Would we trust others more because we knew that they were being completely transparent with us? No games played, just each of us being true to ourselves and those around us. We would all be more comfortable with each other, not worried about our flaws or inadequacies, with little care to what others thought.

I think when others are unapologetically themselves it is attractive. What do you think?

Do you want to play Barbies with me?

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Recently my sister reminded me about how much I used to love my Barbie dolls as a kid. I would bug her endlessly by asking her if she wanted to play Barbies with me. She could not stand playing with my Barbies and did not pretend to enjoy it, and yet I still always asked. Sometimes I think she just could not stand to hear me ask again and would cave in and play, and other times I think my mom told her she had to play with me.

Ah, Barbies. It makes me laugh that I was so addicted. I can remember that I had about 10 different Barbies, a cardboard-esque townhouse, a car (but not THE Barbie corvette – I had the knockoff version), and the beauty salon. I can remember the beauty salon. It had a special marker that you used to color Barbie’s hair, and then you could put her in a seat that somehow piped water thorough this straw thing to wash her hair. What a mess. What I learned the hard way was that you should never cut Barbie’s hair. It does not grow back, nor does it grow like human hair.

Barbie’s clothes were also impossible to put on at times. I can remember I had one Ken doll for my 10 Barbies. He had two outfits; a white tuxedo, and workout clothes. The tuxedo pants would not go on or off without my putting baby powder on his legs and in the pants. I guess you get crafty when you have to!

I am no longer a Barbie girl. It makes me laugh to think back to little me, and then to me today.