email

Clear. Focused. Present.

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Last night I responded to an email that had been in my inbox for a few weeks. I apologized for not responding for so long, yet I have to say it is normal for me to do that. Am I horrible friend? Maybe. Or I just care about sending a focused, well thought out response? Yes, yes, yes. I feel like when I finally have quiet time to respond, I want to make sure that I truly focus on that individual. Almost as though I am sitting right across from them at a table in a coffee shop, or cozy on a couch (depending on how close you are to said individual).

I want to give their message my undivided attention. I answer their questions, check in on life, and give an update on my world. What is it that makes me do this? I care that much. Maybe it was so many years of emails in my past work life, but I think about the effort I put into a message, and I think about the person on the receiving end, hoping they feel cared for by having contact with me. Now, do not worry, I am not an angel, nor am I trying to paint a picture of goodness. I merely am sharing because I think it is a way to care for someone in this crazy, fast, digital age.

So if you write shorter emails with minimal questions you will probably hear back from me quicker. If we have a more involved conversation via email, and I do not have focused windows of time to get back to you, then you might have to wait for an answer, but you will know that when I respond to you, it will be all about you. Focused. Present.

Do you think about that when you respond to emails? Do you just try to be done and move on to your next task, or do you really focus on the other person?

Complete presence. Clear focus.

Did you forget?

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I subscribe to a multitude of email newsletters. Airline fare sales, inspirational newsletters, blogs I follow, shopping discounts, to name a few. However, recently I have noticed a rather annoying and frequent trend from retailers. I will tell you right now that I am not blind and it is not anything new, it just seems that in the past few months it has been blatantly excessive. Now, I know I can unsubscribe from the emails, the discounts, or sales, and that would be the easiest way to end my frustration.

I do not give up that easy. Let me give you a bit more context. I do not really ultimately care about the emails with deals, or the ones that say “hey did you know our new product line is in stores, and here is a bit of a reveal to what you will see.” That is actually enticing to me. What I have seen in the last few months is a true influx of pervasive emails reminding me what I have left in my cart, or reminding me of items I clicked into for more detail. Now I know that the items left in my cart are sitting in my cart, so it makes a bit of sense to get a reminder that they are still there. I mean gosh I wish that could happen for me in the grocery store when I leave and do not come back for a week. Maybe they too can suggest an item that I may like because of the item in my shopping cart. Joking. That would only deter me even more from going to the grocery store.

What I do not need is to be told multiple times each day that I have items in my cart. Once a day is enough. Last week, I had put a few items in my West Elm shopping cart so I could show Chris later. Each day last week I got a new email listing just one of the items in my shopping cart. I had four items in my cart, and rather than just sending me one reminder email listing all the items, I got four different emails one day after the other. Annoying and I feel like I am getting spammed. West Elm is not the only offender, Gap does the same thing and there are others.

What creeps me out the most (and yes I know about tracking cookies and websites knowing what you are looking at, but it still is creepy) is when I click into the detail of an item and potentially could do that on hundreds of items on a website, and then I get emails that say: “Take Another Look: [insert name of product].” There was a reason I did not put it in my shopping cart and I do not want to be reminded that I did not purchase the item.

If online retailers are not careful they will piss off their customers. No one wants to feel followed or tracked down. It is no different than going into a retail store and the person that greets you says hello, tells you about their sales, and then proceeds to follow and talk to you as you wander throughout the store. Sometimes (most of the time for me) we just want to be left alone to shop. Will this in your face online phase change?

What do you think?

Phone Calls: No thank you

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I am not a phone call person, but I do love my smartphone. I screen my phone calls, which means I will look at the caller ID and then not answer the phone. If you show up in my address book, I usually will answer but if your number does not exist in my phone, then I most likely will not answer your call. Is it sad that I want to know who is calling me before I answer the phone? Even so, I am usually faster at responding to your email, and even faster at responding to your text, than your phone call. Why?

A phone call takes longer. You never know how long it will last. An email you can decide when you feel inspired to respond, or when you have the brain space, and a text is usually short, sweet, and quick. Often you would get the most responses from me via text. I can remember the wall phone in our kitchen growing up had the longest cord. I am sure the long cord drove my parents crazy. When we received a phone call from a friend we would pull the cord as long it would go, and sit on the toilet in the hall bathroom and close the door (both for privacy and the heat coming from the floor vent). I no longer crave being on the phone as I did as a kid in that hall bathroom.

Last weekend, during Portland’s mini snowstorm, I caught up on my Fast Company magazines and found the article: “Secrets of the Most Productive People” in the December 2013/January 2014 issue, Alexis Ohanian, cofounder of Reddit said:

“To me, the idea of calling someone unprompted is basically saying, ‘Hey, stop whatever you’re doing and talk to me right now.’ If you find yourself in the middle of something, getting an unprompted annoyance is incredibly frustrating. So I try to respect that. Unless it’s really an emergency, I’m not going to bother you. And you can see people chafe at that. You’re in the same office and instant-message each other? Why don’t you just walk over? That’s the perfect example of how ingrained the status quo is. To certain people, it may seem lazy, but I would argue it’s much more efficient and considerate.”

I so agree with Ohanian. As we have drifted from corded phones, to cordless phones, to smart phones our etiquette maybe has not caught up. When I talk on the phone with a friend or family member it is because I have either answered their call, or I have decided to dedicate that time just to them. Now that does not mean I might not be doing dishes, or cleaning the bathroom, but I am not working or multi-tasking in ways that means my mind is not on their phone call. The phone for me is used when I can dedicate my thoughts and mind space to that person. Email has become a way to communicate when schedules and time zones do not align to be able to always communicate via phone. Text is for instant and quick communication.

I can also tell you that I do instant message someone in my same area, and not walk over to their desk. Why? Is it lazy? Yes, and no. Often we are working on different projects and rather than interrupt another individual’s flow of work, an instant message means that you can ask a question and they can answer when it works for them. What do you prefer? A phone call, email, or text message?

Roadtrip + bluetooth = crazy productivity

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Chris and I recently made a trek up to Vancouver, British Columbia for a few days. Six hours in the car is not so bad. It is a quick trip, but after having some crazy days + weeks, I needed to slowly ease out of the intensity of my life, and so together Chris and I came up with a plan.

I would need to stay somewhat busy in the car, and slowly ease into my vacation. What solution did we come up with to help in my dilemma? My iPhone, an Apple wireless keyboard, and Bluetooth! Why was that life changing for me? I caught up on blog comments, emails, Facebook. I searched the web, shopped for Christmas ideas, and read articles to Chris. All while DJ’ing songs on the radio, navigating, and checking in on my co-pilot. Call me crazy, but getting all that shit done on our 6 mile drive made it fly by so quickly. I was super productive, and could never have done all that if we had flown up to Vancouver. Makes me appreciate my iPhone and technology just a tad bit more.

You might think, wow, that woman is crazy, she does not know how to relax, and you might be right. I look at it as utilizing my time in the best way. Why not get all that done while in a car, so that when I am in Vancouver, or even back home I can focus on my time with Chris, or things we planned to do together. To me it was extremely resourceful, I was not distracted by other competing agenda items, and could focus on what was right in front of me.

Guess what I will be doing on future road trips. Thank you 4G!

#alittlebitcrazy

What my email needs from you

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Do you ever have days when you never see the end of your email inbox? When you could literally spend the entire day reading and responding to emails? I recently read this Fast Company article “Why Every Email Should Be 5 Sentences Long.” and it really made me think. What if we were blunt at the beginning of our email if we need someone to take action?

I will give you an example:

ACTION: I need you to review the below and give your feedback by 5 pm today.

[Body of the rest of your email that needs to be reviewed.]

I have always been of the email camp that an email should be a conversation, and I am not backing away from that stance. Except. Yes, there is an exception. I think it depends on the audience and intent of the email. If it is from a company and they are apologizing for an issue that they caused to a customer, then they need to have a more structured email. They need to greet the customer (just as they would if it was in person), state what needs to be said and conclude/say goodbye. That process I still strongly think needs to happen.

It is the action oriented emails that need a change in behavior. These are the exception. With the volume of emails that we receive on a given day, we all need help to know which emails are important. That is thanks to those of us who may have colleagues that have abused the red exclamation point to the extent that no one really knows if an email is truly urgent.

Try it today. Any action oriented emails, put ACTION at the top, and tell others right at the beginning what you need them to do with your message. I would love to hear how it goes.