Cranky passion…respect for another’s time

Do you ever get stuck on something that you have extreme passion over? To the point of being cranky about it?

I sometimes get frustrated when others in my life decide not to plan for certain events and I am impacted. You inquire about their plans, ask if they have decided, and in the end you are impacted by their indecision. At times like these I prefer to just cancel the plans and move on with my life. I get cranky with them. Maybe it is because it feels like they are not communicating and they are not thinking about how their unresponsiveness may impact your life. It means they are not respecting your time or appreciating what might be happening in your life. In the end it is selfish of them.

I try not to do this to others. I try to be aware of how my decision might affect others, and communicate with them if I know my indecisiveness might affect them. I let them know I am unsure. I tell them that if they need to move forward with their plans without me to go ahead and do so.

I know I should not judge others for the decisions they make in life, but it is hard. It means that there are missed opportunities. I want to be sure to teach my future kids to be respectful of other people’s time. It is like going to a meeting and other individuals in the meeting are not prepared and when they come to the meeting they are on their phone or computer. Are they respecting our time? Is that fair? If you are in that situation do you tell the other attendees to reschedule and reconvene when they are prepared?

How can we get others to respect the time of everyone we come into contact with? Is it even possible? What do you think?

Games, Linchpin, and no more Candyland

Posted by random olio

I just finished reading “Linchpin” by Seth Godin. There are so many amazing nuggets in this book. I could write a very long blog about all the ideas I gained from this book, but one in particular really has me thinking. I love playing board games. Growing up it was one of the few things I remember we did as a family. We did not go on vacations, to sporting events, movies, etc. So playing board games is what I remember as “family time.” Games were also how I became competitive. As the youngest, I often felt left out. As the baby of the family, I thought that if I learned each and every game, and could even win ones that maybe other members in my family would make sure I was included and got to play. I did not want them to have to hold my hand and help me along. I wanted to play and win on my own merits and skills.

I have never thought anything of the actual games we played or what they were teaching me. When I was younger we played Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, Memory, and eventually moved on to Monopoly, Tripoly, Poker, Parcheesi, Trivial Pursuit, and Yahtzee. I have not played any of these in years. Most recently I have played Cranium, Tripoly, and my favorite is Taboo. I enjoyed the competition, the family time, and the laughter and fun. So when I read this section in “Linchpin” it made me rethink all the games of my past, and quite frankly how I would want to approach games with my family in the future.

“Author Steven Johnson hates the board game Candyland and all board games like it. I hate them even more than he does.

‘I realize that games of pure chance have a long history, but that doesn’t make them any less moronic,’ he writes. He’s how Candyland is played: You pick a card and do what it says. Repeat.

This is early training in agenda following. Indoctrination in obedience. We teach kids that the best way to win is to mindlessly pick cards, follow instructions, and wait for it all to turn out okay.

Sheesh. What a disaster.

My decree: If you own a copy, burn it. Replace it with Cosmic Encounters or chess or a big box filled with wooden blocks. Please don’t look at school or even board games the same way again. If they’re teaching your kids or future employees to be map readers and agenda followers, make them stop.” Page 193

To give you more context, this section in Godin’s book discusses not being a cog that just takes orders and follows direction, but to become someone who creates their own map and paves their own way. I wonder what games help kids to create their own map. I am still processing and thinking about what those games could be. Any ideas?

Detective work into your future…

Posted by random olio

The desire to know what will happen next. How will things go when your family visits? Will you receive that promotion? What will you learn at your next doctor’s appointment? If only we could know what the future brings. It could make our life easier, and it could make our life dull. This Daily Om: “Fully Committed to Now” speaks to wishing we knew what was going to happen to us:

“If someone had told you as a child of all the jobs and relationships you would experience, along with each one’s inherent ups and downs, you would have become overwhelmed. With your head full of information about the future, you would have had a very hard time experiencing your life in the present moment, which is where everything actually happens.”

I have been through a lot in my life. If I could have looked ten years ahead to know all of the different ups and downs, I think I might have lost it. That is why we are only given a few details at a time. It is like we are the Encyclopedia Brown or Sherlock Holmes of our life, but we are only given a few morsels, and the detective work lasts a lifetime. We are cracking the case and as we do we learn a bit more about ourselves. We find out about our strength, our poise, and patience. We are tested by the facts, the compelling odds, and then we synthesize the details to find answers to our questions that are meaningful to us.

Having said all that does not mean that I do not crave to know what is next for me. Am I doing the work I should be doing? Is this where I will be in 2 years? 5 years? What is my time table for starting a family? What is the future for my friends and family? I have so many questions, that only day by day will unfold for me. Sometimes I want a hint or at least the cliff notes for my future, because that would help, would it not? Or maybe that would be dull, like reading the last chapter of a novel and not wanting to read the rest of the book.

By being detectives of our own lives, we are able to be present in the now, always watching and aware of all that is happening around us.

Anything is possible…

Posted by random olio

A friend shared the below video on Facebook yesterday (thank you, Kim)! I was curious when I saw her comment earlier in the day: “such a fantastic story. i am continually amazed at what the human spirit is capable of…” but the screenshot of the video did not spark my interest. When I got home last night, the thought came to me: “You need to watch the video Kim shared.” So I sat down to watch and by the end there were tears streaming down my face. It was just the video I needed to see.

Over the past few days my knees have been killing me. I’ve been running 6+ miles a day for a few years now, and never had any problems. We recently had issues with our treadmill and it has meant that I have done my runs outside. After a few weeks of running on pavement, my knees have been hurting. Last night I came home and took a long, hot salt bath in hopes it would help my knees to rest a bit. After watching the below video I realized my complaints are lame in comparison.

I am also completely addicted to Coldplay’s song “Fix You” which is featured as a cover in the below video. The story and a bit of “Fix You” might shift your perspective today. It is a bit long, but so worth it when you get to the end.

What did you think? Has your thought shifted?

“Routine doesn’t deserve its bad reputation.”

Posted by random olio

I am in the middle of reading “Happier at Home” by Gretchen Rubin. You might have heard of her book: “The Happiness Project” which I read last year. “Happier at Home” brings The Happiness Project to her home, where she looks for ways to make her life happier with a specific focus on her home. She breaks it up into different areas she wants to focus on each month. One of the areas that resonated with me while reading over the weekend was her section on routine.

Usually I have a love/hate feeling about routines. Part of me loves the competition I have with myself to stick to a routine. Part of me feels like it makes me completely boring, dull, and unadventurous to follow a routine each day. I have quite a few routines. I have a green smoothie every morning. I eat basically the same lunch everyday. I go crazy if I do not get a run in each day. I like to stay up-to-date on my email as much as possible. An overflowing inbox makes me feel out of whack. For some reason these so-called routines that I have help me feel like I have just a bit more control over something in my life, when so many of the other aspects of life I have no control over. This all came into my thought after reading this quote from Rubin’s book:

“Routine doesn’t deserve its bad reputation. It’s true that novelty and challenge bring happiness, and that people who break their routines, try new things, and go to new places are happier, but routine can also bring happiness. The pleasure of doing the same thing, in the same way, every day, shouldn’t be overlooked. The things I do every day take on a certain beauty and provide a kind of invisible architecture to my life. Andy Warhol wrote, ‘Either once only, or every day. If you do something once it’s exciting, and if you do it every day it’s exciting. But if you do it, say, twice or just almost every day, it’s not good any more’.” page 147

In my own way my routine does bring me happiness. I can do these specific things in my life and not have to overly think about them. I do not have to agonize over what to make for breakfast or lunch. I feel so much calmer and collected after my run. These routines ground me. They bring a balance to my life and that makes me happier.

What do you think? Does routine bring you happiness, or does it feel like it drags you down?