When I Shaved My Head

We decided together. I was a junior in college. We dared each other to shave our heads. To ensure that one of us would not chicken out, we took the electric razor down the middle of each of our scalps. A good insurance policy so that one of us would not walk out of the bathroom with no hair and the other a full head of hair left.

my shaved head…the beginning of the grow out process

Guess what? I actually enjoyed having a shaved head. I got tons of comments and it was fun to have no hair for a few years, but mostly I liked it because I did not have to get my hair cut each month. I was paying my way through school and that was one less expense. My only expenditure was to purchase a Wahl clipper set so each month I could continue to keep my head shaved. So easy. I no longer had to find a ride into town to get my hair cut. I just walked into the bathroom, shaved, showered and was done for the month. I kept it for about 2 years until I was working professionally and felt I should try to grow it out. That was the least fun part about the whole experience. Growing your hair out from a shaved head as a woman is an awkward time. I consulted with a hair stylist quite often so she could trim and sculpt a bit to make it look normal and not the oddly and strange-looking fro that was mine during the grow out process.

What I learned during those few years of no hair is that we can hide behind our hair. Hair can be a part of what we think encapsulates our beauty. We either love or hate our hair. The grass is always greener on the other side, right? If you have curly hair you want straight, and vice versa. If you have thin hair you want thick hair. I never enjoyed my hair growing up. It has always been thick and a bit unwieldy. A bit of a horse mane. Without the right hair stylist it is a thick fro regardless of the length. When I had a shaved head I never worried about what I looked like, or if the humidity that day would make my hair look nothing like it did in the morning. I did not think about if I needed a haircut, or if so what style I wanted when I got to the salon. I did not think about whether I could pull off the style once I got home (often I was not so savvy to duplicate what the stylist had done to my hair).

It has been almost 15 years since I have had a shaved head, and there are definitely days when I miss it. I try not to hide behind my hair, or spend too much time on it. Today my hair is the longest it has ever been in my life, and I love it. However, that does not mean I have not been tempted to pull out the Wahl and start shaving.

Incredible people…at the right moment

Today is my 100th post! I cannot believe I have been blogging every weekday for 5 months! An exciting accomplishment for me.

I recently read the novel: “Delicacy” by David Foenkinos. After reading it, I learned that the book was made into a movie. I would read the book first before watching the movie. I have added it to my movie list, but I actually already think it will not be as good as the book. Some movies just cannot compare to the description and places your imagination takes you to while reading a book. It is a quick read and quite cleverly written. The author brings you in to support the main character but you will later fall in love with the underdog.

A quote that was shared in “Delicacy” resonated with me. It makes me think about when I met my husband, I had known him for a while before it clicked within me that he had been brought into my life at just the right moment. AND, yes he is incredible.

“Thought of a Polish Philosopher:

There are incredible people whom we meet at the wrong moment.

And there are people who are incredible because we meet them at the right moment.” page 97

It makes me think about the movie: Sliding Doors. It used to be one of my favorite movies. I loved it because of the story line, but also because at the time Sliding Doors came out my hair was very short, and I liked Gwyneth Paltrow’s hair short and long in the movie. Her hair inspired me. I think I related more to her short hair character most. If you have not seen Sliding Doors, then rent it right away. It is a movie that really makes you think. The excerpt from IMDB says:

“Young Helen is fired from her job at a PR company, and when the sliding doors of the tube car close on her, we start to see what would have happened if she’d made the train, and if she hadn’t.”

Whenever I wonder in life what would have or could have happened, I think of Sliding Doors. Where would I be if I had taken that job? What if I said no to a party, would I have met that friend? We all have those questions, and Gwyneth’s character let’s us think about the moment the door closes and we do not make the train, what could have been?

What incredible person have you met at the right moment? What incredible experience did you have at the right moment?

Sympathy, Praise, and Approval

A good friend would often remind me in college to: “Never look to others for sympathy, praise, and approval.” I have never forgotten this and often remind myself of this when I feel a void of appreciation or approval from others.

The thing is, I can be a pleaser, and I hate it. I think it originated when I was a kid. Many times things in our house were chaotic, and I think in order to balance out the chaos, I wanted to make everything happy and calm. I think subconsciously I hoped that my parents would notice me if I was just good all the time. I am not sure that ever really worked. I do not think they had the time or space to think in that way, they were too busy trying to just put food on the table. What became problematic about that is that it never really left me. I have days where I hate that I am such a pleaser, and other days when I think it is fine to want to make others happy.

What is strange is deep down I am confident in myself, and I do not really care what other people think, however, there is a part of me that feels validated by the approval of others. Who does not feel grateful and appreciated by the feedback and approval from others?

So when I read this Daily Om this past week, it really resonated with me. Specifically this line:

“We were not honored as individuals in our own right, with a will and purpose of our own, to be determined by our own unfolding. As a result, we learned to look outside of ourselves for approval, support, and direction rather than look within.”

For the most part I think I look within for direction and approval in my life, but I would like to watch for when I might look to others for sympathy, praise, or support and shift my thought back to my own inner guidance and acceptance.

What do you think?

Ads and Blogger Awards

So I just learned that you might be seeing ads on my blog. (From what I can tell it happens when you click into the complete blog post.) In further researching, I found that I can remove it by paying WordPress a yearly fee, but I decided — forget that. Instead, I am going to self-host my blog and in turn have the ability to have many other options, widgets, and resources. Instead of just self-hosting my blog I have decided to also change the look and feel of Random Olio and get rid of those annoying ads.

Thanks to WordPress the ads just started appearing. No notification, I just found these details about these ads on their website. So far I have seen a few YouTube video ads and I have been told there has also been a pest control video too. Thank you for your patience and for ignoring these annoying ads until I can finish the upgrade to my site!

On a different note, I was nominated for the Lovely Blogger award, by: World on a Platter and for a 2nd time the Versatile Blogger award, this time by: The Usual Bliss. Thank you both for the nominations! I thought I would handle the response here in a combined post. So 5 more things about me (sorry I am breaking the rules, I am supposed to have 7 things, but I am trying to keep it short).

  • I do not cook. I do not really know how. After 5 summers of 4-H baking I would call myself a baker.
  • I am direct and sometimes have no sensor whatsoever.
  • I will stand up for those I love, so do mess with those dear to me.
  • I love babies. I do not have one of my own yet, but am addicted to precious little babies.
  • I am a sucker for anything with salt on it. Sorry sugar, you play 2nd fiddle.

I already nominated folks in this post, but will add a few more for the Lovely Blogger Award:

Roost

not without salt (such a clever name)

Paper Morning

Design Crush 

Side of the Road Sessions (mentioned in older post, but the site is newly redesigned and launched!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you again for the nominations!

A Different Route, or the One you are On?

Happy Monday! How was your weekend? Hope you had a relaxing, sun-filled weekend. We had some sun and some rain. The rainy day was good as it meant I got caught up on other things.

I was thinking this weekend about how we often do not know what is happening next. We patiently wait for things to shift, to progress and move forward, but it usually never happens on our own timeframe. Maybe it is because the person we are supposed to meet has to be in a specific place in their life, or we cannot move to our next job until the person in that position moves on to their next role. We do not see this until we are able to look back. Hindsight.

Last week I mentioned the book: “Bright Side Up: 100 Ways to Be Happier Right Now” by Amy Spencer in the blog post: Make Room for Change. Amy says:

“When life sends you on a different route, it’s natural to wish things had happened as you planned. But maybe the route you’re on now is even better. Maybe the scenery is prettier on a side road, or you’ll learn things you couldn’t have on the busy highway. Maybe who you’re meeting and what you’re experiencing will ultimately bring you closer to true happiness.” Page 54

Sometimes we do not always know what good can come from following our intuition. Or, we do not completely understand why we have made the decisions we have, but as we move forward we see more clearly that it was the right decision. Over time, good things show up to us and we see more clearly the intuition we heard was directing us to take the right steps.

Have a good week!