We listened to music in the kitchen a lot this weekend. A song came on Spotify and instantly I was transported to October 2012, while on a run in my new neighborhood. We had yet to fix our treadmill after our move so I instantly got to know the homes and street in our neighborhood. The song that was constantly repeating on my iPhone while I ran? “Shine bright like a diamond” by Rihanna. When I hear that song, I instantly think of moving into our new home.

As I mixed ingredients to make cookies, my mind started to wander to other moments in my life when a song was on repeat so much that a specific event always brings a  song to my mind. I remembered a job I had almost 11 years ago. I was a recruiter at a staffing firm, and over and over was asked to lie to potential clients in order for the company to make the most money out of each placement. I would go to my car at lunch and cry. I would go home at the end of the day and cry. Honesty and integrity are the core of my identity, and I struggled so much to be me at this job. The song that was on repeat in my car, on the way to work, during lunch, and on my way home? “Clearest Indication” by Great Big Sea. Interesting that the title is Clearest Indication, could it be any clearer to me? Yes, it is about someone who has been left by another, but somehow I think it was what I needed to hear. I needed to leave, and I did.

Every time I hear the song “Always on my mind” by Pet Shop Boys, I think of my mom and my brother. I remember when my mom died in the hospital. On one day that week I was with my brother in his black Chevy Blazer and this was the song he had on repeat on his car CD player. If I remember correctly it was on repeat for weeks. I knew it was what he needed to hear as his heart ached at the loss of our mom. That song will always remind me of those days surrounding my mom’s death.

We all have songs that leave memories ingrained in our thoughts and hearts. It might have been the song playing when you met your life partner, or what you selected to play at your wedding, it might have been during that aha moment in your car when you made the decision of your life. Music impacts us sometimes in ways we do not even realize until we look back and ponder how we have been changed by it.