Farting, freezing, and hand sanitizer

My flight was uneventful last night while flying back from California. A good smooth flight, but you know when you fly in a puddle jumper life is just a bit different in the friendly skies. Over the course of the 1+ hour flight someone (whether they were aware of it or not) could not stop breaking wind. As stated in my post last summer, about Farting on an Airplane, I know it is not always something individuals can control, but this was out of hand. Here is the list of things that came to me while making my trip back to Portland:

  • Overhead bin is so small, it is like a glove compartment
  • Someone keeps farting
  • The guy next to me has a cell phone with a revving motorcycle ringtone going off throughout flight
  • It is freezing, not above me through the vents, but around my ankles and no blankets on board
  • The person behind me keeps kneeing my back
  • Someone farted again
  • The guy next to me across the aisle will not shut up
  • The bathroom is so small, there is no sink, and they just leave hand sanitizer out for you
  • When the person coming out of the bathroom grabs my headrest as they walk by and I think now I do not want to put my head of hair on the headrest, because all I can think is, “Did they use the hand sanitizer?”
  • Someone farted again
  • I wonder when they last wiped the tray table down and the seats themselves
  • We arrive at our destination a half hour early only to stand while they take 20 minutes to figure out how to get the ramp to connect to the door
  • Someone farted again

Have you had enough?

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