“Hugs make me fart”

I have written from time to time about farts. It might gross some of you out, but those of you that are transparent and not afraid to say what is really on your mind know that we all fart, and sometimes it happens in public places. On an airplane, in a dressing room, or at the grocery store. These days with gluten and dairy intolerances, it seems to be a more common occurrence, or maybe a more common conversation. Do not worry this blog is not completely about farts, I have another mission for your day.

It is about hugging. Ah you read the title. A colleague recently shared (jokingly of course) that he was not a fan of hugging. His wife confirmed it. He said: “Hugging makes me fart.” I laughed, and then I laughed again. Literally I can see what it means. Sometimes Chris has squeezed me so hard that well a bit of air might have escaped, but again, not the focus of this blog post. I loved what he said, and I love how funny it was to me. It was real and raw, and even if he was kidding, it brought a smile to my face and made my day!

Growing up, my house had few hugs. I do not remember hugging my siblings much, or my parents, or grandparents. It was not really encouraged and not something I witnessed too often. So I am not sure at what point in my life that hugs became prevalent. I am a hugger. I have no problem meeting a new person and by the time I have had a conversation, interacted, feel comfortable and connected giving them a hug at the end of our visit. It often feels odd to get to know someone (a man or a woman) and not give them a hug at the end of the visit. Although there is one thing I have noticed. Men often feel awkward hugging a woman too close. A hug is a hug is a hug. Just bring it in and hug it out. Who cares about what body parts come into contact with each other? To me a hug is a way to connect, a way to say I value you.

Even in an extremely love filled relationship, a hug can sometimes feel more meaningful than a kiss. You can squeeze the crap out of someone and show how much they mean to you that is sometimes hard to show in a kiss (especially in public). In the morning I often find Chris wherever he is in the house and demand my morning hug. I feel somewhat off starting my day or being at work and realizing I did not get my morning hug. (Makes me grumpy). A hug says things that do not need to be said, soothes a bad day, tears, and even a grumpy person.

Just remember though that the next time you hug someone, they might just fart!

Farting, freezing, and hand sanitizer

My flight was uneventful last night while flying back from California. A good smooth flight, but you know when you fly in a puddle jumper life is just a bit different in the friendly skies. Over the course of the 1+ hour flight someone (whether they were aware of it or not) could not stop breaking wind. As stated in my post last summer, about Farting on an Airplane, I know it is not always something individuals can control, but this was out of hand. Here is the list of things that came to me while making my trip back to Portland:

  • Overhead bin is so small, it is like a glove compartment
  • Someone keeps farting
  • The guy next to me has a cell phone with a revving motorcycle ringtone going off throughout flight
  • It is freezing, not above me through the vents, but around my ankles and no blankets on board
  • The person behind me keeps kneeing my back
  • Someone farted again
  • The guy next to me across the aisle will not shut up
  • The bathroom is so small, there is no sink, and they just leave hand sanitizer out for you
  • When the person coming out of the bathroom grabs my headrest as they walk by and I think now I do not want to put my head of hair on the headrest, because all I can think is, “Did they use the hand sanitizer?”
  • Someone farted again
  • I wonder when they last wiped the tray table down and the seats themselves
  • We arrive at our destination a half hour early only to stand while they take 20 minutes to figure out how to get the ramp to connect to the door
  • Someone farted again

Have you had enough?

Everybody Farts

Thank you, Kim, for posting this on Facebook. It made my day. Usually I will put a recap of the story or experience I am linking to, but for this one, I cannot do it justice, you just have to read the entire story. It is called: “The Fart that Almost Altered My Destiny.”

Not to be gross, but just like the book: “Everybody Poops” – everyone also farts. I had a similar experience with Chris when we were first dating, only maybe I did not find it as mortifying. I think I probably found it fairly funny. I found it funny because at the time we met (well and now too) I was at a point in my life where I was who I was and I was not embarrassed about it. So breaking that barrier at the beginning of our dating time was not anything that would worry me. I think if I remember correctly I figured if he wanted to run the other way, then maybe it was not meant to be.

I think that we should be completely and utterly raw, our absolute selves. Then those that love us see us for who we really are, without the make-up, or the put together outfit, or on our crankiest day. Sometimes this also means that they are capable of taking care of us when our bodily functions (from either end) do not obey us. I have had many situations when driving to the airport or other excursions where I yell: “Drive very, very fast!” He is used to it, he gets me, and he goes fast. That my friend, is what you call love.

My favorite line of her article was: “Well, thank you boobs.  You saved us.  You saved our destiny.” I guess you will have to read the above link to know what that means.

Happy Day to you!