Farting, freezing, and hand sanitizer

My flight was uneventful last night while flying back from California. A good smooth flight, but you know when you fly in a puddle jumper life is just a bit different in the friendly skies. Over the course of the 1+ hour flight someone (whether they were aware of it or not) could not stop breaking wind. As stated in my post last summer, about Farting on an Airplane, I know it is not always something individuals can control, but this was out of hand. Here is the list of things that came to me while making my trip back to Portland:

  • Overhead bin is so small, it is like a glove compartment
  • Someone keeps farting
  • The guy next to me has a cell phone with a revving motorcycle ringtone going off throughout flight
  • It is freezing, not above me through the vents, but around my ankles and no blankets on board
  • The person behind me keeps kneeing my back
  • Someone farted again
  • The guy next to me across the aisle will not shut up
  • The bathroom is so small, there is no sink, and they just leave hand sanitizer out for you
  • When the person coming out of the bathroom grabs my headrest as they walk by and I think now I do not want to put my head of hair on the headrest, because all I can think is, “Did they use the hand sanitizer?”
  • Someone farted again
  • I wonder when they last wiped the tray table down and the seats themselves
  • We arrive at our destination a half hour early only to stand while they take 20 minutes to figure out how to get the ramp to connect to the door
  • Someone farted again

Have you had enough?


Are you curious just by the title? Chris found it the other day and knew I would be interested. Are you? I know a variety of individuals that have quite different public bathroom habits. There are some that will never step foot inside a public toilet. Others could care less, when they have to go, they have to go (I am of that variety). Of course there are public bathrooms that I would not want to step foot in, but hey when nature calls, I have to answer. There are yet others that will only use a public restroom if there is no one else they have to share it with while doing their business. Which is hard, because it might be empty when you start, and then you might be joined by one or many more in the neighboring stalls.

So when Chris shared Poo-pourri, I had a nice laugh. Honesty, I am not sure I really care to travel around with a bottle of Poo-pourri. I care less about the smell left behind as I do an unclean restroom. Having said that, I am a tad bit curious if it works. They say you Spritz and then Poo, and the essential odors mask the smell. Is that really possible? You will have to watch and see what you think, it has a Mad Men vibe.

So curious now? Two of my favorite lines: “How do you make the world believe that your poop doesn’t stink?” and “When your little astronauts splash down and make contact.”

Scents to try: Trap-A-Crap, Royal Flush, Shittin’ Pretty, Party Pooper, Doody Free, Heavy Doody