Lessons come when we are open

Posted by random olio

There are a few authors that I have read every book they have written, and a few of them I have had the pleasure of seeing in person. Ann Patchett is one of those authors. Her new book: “This is the Story of a Happy Marriage” is a book that is not in the usual realm of her writing. It is a compilation of articles she has written over the years, many that were published in magazines. While they are each stories that were written years apart, her writing, story, and life are weaved so well together that they flow so beautifully, you would have thought they were written together on purpose.

You learn about her younger years and the oddity of her childhood, about taking care of her grandma, about her early years of writing, her dogs, her marriages, and the ups and downs of a writer’s life. Her other books are novels, ones that once you open and get into the story, you are a goner. You might as well know that after the first few pages, you’ll be snuggling on the couch for the long haul. Cancel any plans that you have made, you will not want to put any of her novels down.

Patchett does have a memoir “Truth and Beauty” that is about her life with her best friend and author, Lucy Grealy, yet “This is a Story of a Happy Marriage” goes deeper in many more aspects of her life and she communicates many ideas that resonate on marriage, family, and the writing life. This idea particularly stood out to me about openness:

“It’s a wonderful thing to find a great teacher, but we also have to find him or her at a time in life when we’re able to listen to and trust and implement the lessons we are given. The same is true of the books we read. I think that what influences us in literature comes less from what we love and more from what we happen to pick up in moments when we are especially open.” Page 33

This happens so often for me. I gravitate towards a book and I am not sure why, and then as I begin to read and absorb the ideas shared, I gradually, page by page learn a bit more about myself. You know the books that do that for you. The ones with a plethora of highlighted, dog-eared, or post-it note adorned pages all with ideas that you want to remember, cherish, or share with another individual. This book did that for me. Her story and life experience made me think about my life experience and story and I found myself jotting down notes of special moments from my life that I want to put on paper.

I encourage you to read “This is the Story of a Happy Marriage.” It is slow in the beginning and takes a bit more to get into than her novels, but once you get to know her a bit more I know you will find a few morsels to take away.

Got nerve?

Posted by random olio

Recently I finished reading the book: “Some Nerve: Lessons Learned While Becoming Brave” by Patty Chang Anker. It was a good book and reminder of how little we take risks, and how often we stay trapped by our fears. It made me think about what I am holding inside that I need to let go, release, and no longer have as part of my life.

The author talks about her fears, as basic as riding a bike, to swimming in the ocean, and going surfing. Whatever the fear might be, Anker tries to look fear in the face and bravely take a stand. She does it for herself, she does it for others, and she does it so that she can raise her kids without inheriting her fears. Seems simple right? Yes and no. I love this idea she shared:

“Inhale what you need, exhale what you don’t. I teach my yoga students all the time. The lesson is both literal and figurative. We take in life-giving air and let go of toxic waste every moment we’re alive. I’m finally applying this in daily decisions, keeping what nourishes and releasing the rest. Taking responsibility for what I can. Surrendering the things I can’t. Living with palms open.” Page 51

Letting go of toxic moments can change our life. I love the thought to keep what nourishes and release the rest. If we have the courage to take a stand and say what is on our mind, we can keep ourselves intact. It is not easy, but it is imperative to ensure that we keep the integrity of who we are each and every day. I am in, are you?

#gotnerve?

Peeing in Portland

Posted by random olio

Over the weekend, I dragged Chris to a few holiday artisan markets. I usually do not buy much, but find I gain inspiration from seeing other artists share and sell their work. One of the markets is called: ADX Gifted. ADX is a design and prototyping facility in Portland that allows for metal, wood, industrial sewing machines, and 3D printing. My kind of place! I have for a long time wanted to do small woodworking projects using a lathe and sander. I have memories of my middle school wood shop class, and while I secretly loved to cook and sew, I also secretly loved playing with wood.

I digress. The reason for this blog has nothing to do with sand paper or wood. I found a book at the ADX Gifted market that I wanted to share. It is called: “The Best Places to Pee.” Yes, I did. It is a book about the best bathrooms in Portland. A fun idea, eh? There are pictures of each bathroom from the author’s list of 51 places to pee. Let me explain further.

I have an app on my iPhone called: Sit or Squat. I have it so that anytime I am out or traveling I can at any time look up where there might be a bathroom. Sit or Squat asks its users to add new bathrooms to the map using crowd sourcing for all of us that often have “gotta go.” I was the child on a road trip (my family’s version of a road trip was an hour away) who would ask if we could stop to go to the bathroom a zillion times. I am sure my father cringed every time I asked, knowing it was going to take five times longer to get there. Eventually he just told me I had to hold it. Sometimes that was successful, other times we had a mess on our hands.

So it is definitely appropriate for me to have a book on the best bathrooms in Portland. It shows a little snapshot of the quirkiness, adventure, and colorful life of Portlanders. You can view a few images of Portland bathrooms from the author’s website. I think you will find Portland is keeping it weird!

#lovemycity

Which doors to open…

Posted by random olio

It has been a while since I have written about a book I have read. Two reasons: I have not had the time to read as many books lately, and I have not read as many books that have inspired me. However, over Thanksgiving I read a novel that I could not put down. It is called: “The Time Between” by Karen White. I am not even sure where to start in explaining this complex storyline.

It is about two sisters (Eve and Eleanor), their stories of loss, anger, longing, and forgiveness. One is in a wheelchair, and the other does everything she can to take care of her sister. She works long hours in an investment banking firm, plays the piano at night to bring in more money. The other sister sews gowns in her wheelchair. Such pieces she herself would have worn in past beauty pageants. Music is weaved throughout the story, second chances, and the beauty of an island. Of course there is so, so, so much more to the story, but I do not want to ruin it for you. There is one line near the end of the book that I had to share with you:

“There is how we were before, and how we are now, and the time between is spent choosing which doors to open, and which to close.” page 319

I thought this was the perfect morsel of insight from the book. White discusses this in different ways throughout the book. She is right. So often we are stuck in how we were before, that we cannot be okay with where we are now. As White alludes to throughout the book, there are many doors to which we can open or close and the choice is 99% ours to make. Do we forgive someone and move on, or do we stay stuck in what they have done to us? Can we get over the one that did not choose to love us, so that we can be present and ready for the one that we will love so deeply? Such good ideas for really anyone. Even with the sisterhood theme, it did not feel like chick lit to me. Just a great novel, and really I can see it made into a movie.

Open a new door. Take a few hours to read “The Time Between.” It is worth it.

Moment-by-Moment Choices

Posted by random olio

We always have this moment, and the next, and the next. We always have the option to decide how to respond and react. We can lash out or respond with poise. We always have a choice. Last week after writing about how Marianne Williamson was running for Congress in California, I continued to research and read about what she has been doing. This led me to finding her blog, and one comment in particular resonated with me:

“We make moment-by-moment decisions what kind of people to be — whether to be someone who blesses, or who blames; someone who obsesses about past and future, or who dwells fully in the present; someone who whines about problems, or who creates solutions. It’s always our choice what attitudinal ground to stand on: the emotional quicksand of negative thinking, or the airstrip of spiritual flight.”

I want to be someone who blesses, dwells in the present, and creates solutions. I can tell you that I sometimes get sucked into the emotional quicksand of negative thinking. Yet, if we make moment-by-moment decisions, then we can fix that negative thinking in the next moment. I saw that last week when I was angry with someone. I really do not like feeling angry. I do not like how it makes my body or my mind feel. It makes me feel off. However, I have a hard time saying I was wrong, or forgiving.

Last week however, I leveraged that moment-by-moment decision-making. I allowed myself to be angry for a few hours, and then I thought, “What a waste!” Sure I am still bummed by what happened, but does it do me any good to be angry? No. So I told this individual that I had forgiven them (well almost). I did it in a way that made me feel like the bigger person (I was not completely ready to let them off the hook).

It was progress though. That is all we have to do each day is make progress in becoming the individual we want to be, to unearth the individual we already are.