Are you a DINK? Or a DEWKs?

Posted by random olio

I think we have all heard of the term DINK, which is an acronym for: dual income no kids. Until recently I had not heard of the term DEWKs: dually employed with kids or SITCOM: single income, two children, oppressive mortgage. Right now I am feeling for the SITCOM, at least the OM part. All these acronyms come from the many ideas I read in: “All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending” by Laura Vanderkam.

She mentions talking to your children about money, and making it part of their upbringing. I do not have children yet, but I have a feeling that my kids will think I am like a broken record, because I will definitely be teaching them about money just as I will teach them about respect, love, trust, the list goes on. I want them to feel comfortable talking about money. I like what the author says in the following quote about an internal locus of control. This allows kids to chart their own course and work hard on their own merits. I know it has always felt nice when I have attained something on my own, rather than on the shirt tails of another.

“The best thing we can do for our kids, economically, is to teach them to be entrepreneurial. A big chunk of this is helping them develop an internal locus of control–that is, the belief that they are responsible for making their way in the world. No one is going to hand them a job or an opportunity. They will have to seek it out.” page. 139

Another ideal that I would like my kids to see me follow is that we are living within our means. I want to show them, whether with our own finances or with examples, how it is possible to live within your means based on choices that we make. I have seen so many horror stories on Oprah and other shows about parents that give their children everything they want and are not even remotely able to pay for it. To me this is “keeping up with the Jones.” Laura says that children’s mindsets are shaped between 8 and 12 years old.

“Talk about why a lower interest rate on a mortgage matters in terms of monthly payments, and if you’re working extra hours to afford a particular vacation or to get out of debt, make sure they see the connection. Keep in mind that in a cashless culture, kids may have a harder time grasping what money really is.” page 213

It should mean that children will have more respect for their parents and the material possessions they do have, and hopefully connect the dots to see all that a parent is doing to provide for their children. I can understand parents wanting to protect or shield their kids from knowing if things are tight, or that their financial situation is dire, however, I think it is possible to educate without instilling fear.

“If your children see you paying your bills on time, living on less than you make, and putting money away for the future, this becomes the norm. If your young children have savings accounts and simply learn that a percentage of birthday and holiday money always goes there, this will be an incredibly difficult habit to break later on. Saving will feel like brushing their teeth.” page 212

She also tells us to let children fail, that we should teach our kids the “value of the dollar.” She says to encourage children to figure out their values about money (and that means we should probably know ours). I learned my values about money the hard way. I had many jobs during college, juggling them to pay for school, while also babysitting on the side. Some friends got to sleep in and take classes all day (or have just 3 classes all day and that was all they were responsible for). I was in a work/study program and then worked extra on the side so I could go out and have a little spending money for food or a movie with friends. I definitely did not take what I earned for granted, I worked hard to pay for school, and knew what an opportunity my college education was for me.

So regardless of if you are a DINK, DEWK, or SITCOM, what are your money values?

Read A Book A Day

Posted by random olio

I just finished reading the book: “Think: Straight Talk for Women to Stay Smart in a Dumbed-Down World” by Lisa Bloom. Near the end of the book Lisa mentions Nina Sankovitch in a section on reading. Lisa talks about how important reading is for women, and shares Nina’s website and a bit about her story. Nina decided back in 2008 to read a book a day (of normal length, 200-350 pages). I read a lot of books a year, but I do not know how it is possible to read one a day. I am completely impressed. On Nina’s website, she shares a list of places you can read (which is how she read a book a day). Here are a few places that I read:

in the car when Chris is driving
in the car when I pick him up from work and I am waiting for him
while I blow dry my hair
when I sit outside in the summer and enjoy the sun
while I run
sometimes just before bed
if we are watching a movie and I am half watching it because it is not that great of a movie
in the bathroom (of course – who does not)

A few more from Nina’s site, her list starts with “Always have a book with you.”

when waiting in line
instead of updating Facebook or Twitter
read with your kid

Or, I would add-on to the last one, “read with your spouse.” So what will you be bringing with you the next time you leave the house?

In honor of Nora Ephron, I am reposting a quote by Nora that David Kanigan recently posted on his blog.

Pubslush – A Writing Kickstarter Site

Posted by random olio

Pubslush – (love the name) for this Kickstarter type company – for writers. Here is a bit of background on Pubslush. It is a brilliant idea and if it is as successful as Kickstarter we will see lots of new published material. The idea is that a writer can post an excerpt of ten excerpt pages, a summary, and pitch of their work. Pubslush users can support the work, and if 1,000 users back the work, then Publslush will publish the book. For each book sold, one book is donated to kids worldwide who do not have access to books.

We see many authors who self-publish, but this is backed and financially supported by fans, or Pubslush enthusiasts who are intrigued and interested by the content of a book excerpt. AND a kid somewhere else in the world receives a book. A stellar idea. What will this mean for future writers and for publishers? I look forward to watching how it unfolds.

DailyCandy had the following to say about Pubslush:

“A novel idea that beats the fame game is Pubslush, a new Kickstarter-esque social publishing platform that lets people submit, endorse, and fund fiction and nonfiction works based on excerpts. Forget sappy confessionals: Next great American memoirs include Janna Leyde’s He Never Liked Cake, which tells her story of relearning to love her father after a traumatic brain injury changed his character, and Bethany Parks’s Flipping Chairs, a tale wrought with wry humor of time spent in Kenya and triumph over breast cancer. Tomes need 1,000 supporters to be published, and you get charged only if that goal is met. Embracing the one-for-one trend (a la Tomsand Warby Parker), Pubslush donates a book to a child in need for every one sold.

Bravo to that.”

This article from Mashable, titled: “Pubslush Is Like Kickstarter for Authors” explains that Pubslush guarantees an audience before a book is ever published. Much like what Seth Godin did and wrote about on his blog here. I love the Internet world of supporters to a creative idea. It creates opportunity to so many that may not have a way to be seen or found.

I best get started on the beginning of my book, and have Pubslush advocates decide if it is worthy of finishing.

Are You “Drop Dead Healthy?”

Posted by random olio

I just finished reading the book: “Drop Dead Healthy: One Man’s Humble Quest for Bodily Perfection” by Esquire editor, A.J. Jacobs. I was intrigued about the book when I read a quick soundbite from A.J himself in Shelf Awareness about his new book. He takes two years to make his body healthy, one body part at a time. Here is the soundbite from Shelf Awareness:

“Writing at .7 MPH

I predict that this essay will take a bit less than a mile and a bit more than 90 calories to write.

To explain: I’m writing this piece while strolling on my treadmill. As part of my new book, Drop Dead Healthy, which chronicles my quest to be as healthy as humanly possible, I joined the small but growing club of treadmill desk devotees. I perch my laptop (a bit precariously, I must admit) on top of my treadmill’s display panel, and tap tap tap away as I walk at a molasses-like .7 miles per hour.

I do this because of the alarming number of studies that say that extended sitting is terrible for your heart. As in eating-Paula-Deen-bacon-doughnuts terrible. At first, I thought treadmill writing would be distracting. But it’s actually easy (and believe me, I am far from coordinated). It’s also strangely energizing: walking raises your brain’s serotonin level, which helps with focus. I can’t yet tell if my walking is affecting my writing. Do these sentences feel more kinetic? I’ll leave that for you to judge.”

For those of you that work from home or telecommute, let me know if you rig a treadmill desk and if it makes you feel more focused, that you accomplish more and if it was worth the effort. One excerpt from his book (again broken down with each chapter on a different body part), was on his nose, he talks about snoring and how it is taking over marriages. For many snoring can be because of your nasal passages, your weight, and multiple other issues. I found this quote to be interesting information:

“A couple of months ago, The New York Times ran an article about separate-at-night couples. We’re part of the trend. A survey by the National Association of Home Builders says 60 percent of custom homes will have dual master bedrooms by 2015.” page 259

Who knew snoring had such an effect on families that it is changing the way homes are being built! You will find many more interesting details on health in his book. He does not side with the über organics or the sugar fiends. He tries it all and finds what feels right for him. A.J. Jacobs has written a few books and he does not just write them. He lives them. In his book: “A Year of Living Biblically,” he spent a year attempting to live every rule in the Bible literally. Another book called: “The Know-It-All” where he takes a year to read the Encyclopedia from A-Z. You can read more about his books on his website.

I highly recommend “Drop Dead Healthy.” It is a quick read, sprinkled with witty humor, and contains interesting information about health that you might want to look into for yourself.

“The Me I’ve Become”

Posted by random olio

Last week I wrote about the book: “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” by Jenny Lawson in this blog post. I wanted to share another good quote from her book that really inspired and resonated with me.

Do you know how you look back on your childhood, or maybe your high school or college years and remember embarrassing moments that you know you will never forget? I can think of plenty. There are times when I look back on those moments and cringe. Maybe I cringe because it was not my fault that we could not afford the trendy clothes, that I often had hand me downs, or that my mom would attempt to make my clothes. I think what embarrassed me most was my mom making my clothes as I always felt it was obvious that it was homemade. Now I appreciate so much what she was trying to do. Other times I look back and know that I survived many embarrassing moments and that they actually made me stronger. Which is why I really loved this quote from Jenny’s memoir:

“But most important, I see me … or rather, the me I’ve become. Because I can finally see that all the terrible parts of my life, the embarrassing parts, the incidents I wanted to pretend never happened, and the things that make me “weird” and “different,” were actually the most important parts of my life. There were the parts that made me me. And this was the very reason I decided to tell this story … to celebrate the strange, to give thanks to the bizarre, and to one day help my daughter understand that the reason her mother appeared mostly naked on Fox News (that’s in book two, sorry) is probably the same reason her grandfather occasionally brings his pet donkey into bars: Because you are defined not by life’s imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. Because there is joy in embracing–rather than running screaming from–the utter absurdity of life.” page 308

Do you remember those embarrassing moments of your life? Or the ones when you just felt completely awkward? I still have them. Do you? These days I am a little more bold about those embarrassing moments. Like the other day at work, I pronounced challah bread with the “Ch” at the beginning. I pronounced it phonetically. Does that ever happen to you? Where you may sometimes say something and then realize what you were thinking and what came out of your mouth are different things. And, then I started laughing at myself, when I heard my mistake. I brought it up again later in the week, making fun of myself. I think it is good to do that once in a while. It keeps us on our toes and reminds us that life is funny, people are funny, and even if it is slightly embarrassing (trust me I embarrass myself all the time) to go with it, have fun with the moment, laugh, and move on with your life.

So I leave you with a reminder to be YOU in all your bizarreness, and in Jenny’s words: “Because you are defined not by life’s imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them.”